


After the Contract

by Gia_Sesshoumaru



Series: The Contract [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Addiction, Bottom Harry Potter, Depression, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, M/M, Mild Language, POV Harry Potter, POV Hermione Granger, POV Multiple, POV Severus Snape, PTSD, Sexual Content, Smut, Top Severus Snape, alternate universe - freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-22 12:32:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 52,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6079473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gia_Sesshoumaru/pseuds/Gia_Sesshoumaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The contract is over, but Harry refuses to take no for an answer. When one event sets things in motion, how will Harry and Severus deal with the aftermath? Will they be able to come together, and put their respective pasts behind them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who has stuck around! Also, thanks to my wonderful beta/pre-readers, Ticia and Lady Eve. This story picks up right where The Contract leaves off. Rating will increase.
> 
> Edit: Thank you to skyla2010star for the beta!
> 
> Edit2: The "Sexual Content" tag and the rating are, so far, only for one chapter. The notes will indicate when the rating changed.

Harry Potter made his way up to his apartment, his mind still reeling from his meeting with Severus - his final meeting so it would seem. He couldn’t shake the feeling that it couldn't end like this. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, though. It wasn’t as if he could just go there again and yell at him, make Severus see reason. He didn’t feel as if he could just give up, though.

Harry walked in the door and found Hermione sitting on the couch, and her feet curled up. She was right where he’d left her, reading a book. When he walked in, she looked up at him. Her eyes went to the vial in his hand before going back up to his face. “You have the last vial,” she told him, “the last drop. You must be relieved. It’s not over, but at least, it’s a step, right?”

“Yeah, relieved…” Relief was the furthest thing from Harry’s mind right now. He felt hurt and confused. He should feel relieved, but he didn’t, not in the slightest.

“Is everything okay?” Hermione asked, her face concerned.

“Brilliant,” Harry said. He knew he must have sounded sarcastic, but he couldn’t find the strength to fake it right now.

Hermione closed her book and put it on the table. “What’s wrong?”

Harry sighed, and sat down on the other side of the couch. “Nothing.” She gave him that look, that look that said she was smarter than he was, his best friend, and that he couldn’t fool her. “He shut the door in my face. He handed me the vial, and said ‘Have a nice life, Potter’ and then shut the door in my face.”

Hermione was quiet for a moment before she responded. “What did you want him to do?” she said, a careful tone in her voice. “The contract is over.” Harry nodded, knowing that she was right, or at least, she should be right. “It obviously bothers you, though.”

It did bother him. He had just come to terms with the fact that he… that he might have feelings for Severus and then… “Yeah, it does,” he said. “I guess I thought…” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

Hermione scooted a bit closer to him and put a hand on his arm. “You know you can tell me anything, Harry.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Harry said, immediately trying to shut off his feelings. He didn’t want to talk to Hermione. He didn’t want to admit that he might have, that he… “I thought we might have moved past all that crap, but I guess not.” He stood up. “I’m going to go and lay down.” He walked into the kitchen and got himself a glass of water before he went into his room, leaving Hermione on the couch.

It wasn’t that Harry didn’t appreciate it, but what he was supposed to tell her? That he thought Severus had feelings for him too, but obviously he didn’t?

Sure, that would go over well.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione spent the next week helping Harry study for the Healer’s Entrance Exam when she wasn’t at work. He would have tried to get one practice session at the lab, but he knew that Severus would shut the door in his face. He knew Hermione had gotten frustrated with him on more than one occasion, but studying had never been his strong suit.

When the night before the test came, Harry was sure that he couldn’t stuff another piece of information in his head. “You need to study, Harry! Who knows when you’ll be able to take the test again!” Hermione cried.

Harry was currently leaning forward with his face in his hands. His head was throbbing. “Hermione, I know you’re trying to help, but we’ve been studying all week,” he told her. “If I’m not going to pass now, then I don’t think anymore studying will help me pass either.”

“But-”

“I can’t think right now, and I haven’t slept that well all week,” he told her. “I just want to go to bed.”

Hermione sighed. It actually hadn’t been that bad having her here. There was someone else to help cook and clean. He didn’t mind those things, but it was nice having someone else around from time to time. Then there were times that he couldn’t stand to have anyone around. She was starting to get the idea that when he went to his room, he didn’t want to be bothered. She liked her space, too. He’d find her reading or watching the telly.

It was the nightmares that had worried him. He knew he had woken up Hermione at least once this week by his screaming. He asked if it bothered her, and she said no. He knew it did, though.

Harry went to bed soon afterward and woke up the next morning after an uneasy sleep. He wasn’t sure he was ready for the exam this morning. There was nothing he could do about that, though. It was early, so Hermione was still sleeping as she didn’t have to work today. He cooked himself a quick breakfast and drank some coffee before leaving.

~~~~~~~~~

Harry arrived at St. Mungo’s and was directed towards the testing room. There were about a dozen other people there milling around the room. As soon as he walked in, all conversation stopped. They all stared at him in wonder and disbelief. He groaned, and went and sat down at a desk in the corner of the room. He wished people would get over their fascination of him because he was really getting sick and tired of it.

An older man walked through the door just then. He had a straight, stiff walk. He walked straight to the front of the room and turned around. “Harry Potter is here for the same thing you are,” he said, a harsh cutting tone to his voice. “If you can’t handle dealing with a celebrity in a professional capacity, then you are in the wrong business. There’s the door.” He pointed towards the door straight in front of him. “Leave.” No one moved. “Then sit down.”

A smirk crossed Harry’s face. At least, that was dealt with, he thought to himself as everyone else took a seat. The man at the front continued to speak. “Now, I am Jonas Rutherford, Head of Training for St. Mungo’s, and I will be administering your exams over the next two days,” he said. “Today will be the written test. It will be a total of three hundred questions. You have eight hours to complete it.”

Rutherford began to pace at the front of the room as he talked. “The door will be locked when the test starts. You will have an hour break for lunch, at which point you will have to be back here before that hour is up. Once the testing begins again, the doors will lock,” he continued explaining. “You may work through lunch if you wish. When the time is up, you must turn in the test finished or not. I will tell you that most do not take the full eight hours, but you are free to if you need it.”

Rutherford went to his desk, grabbed the tests and passed them out. “I will be here all day if you have any questions understanding the material,” he said. “You are all adults. Therefore, there should be no issues with cheating. If there is, you will be failed instantly and kicked out.” He walked around a bit more before continuing. “Also, in case you still try, each test is slightly different.” He walked up to his desk and sat down. He took a pocket watch out of his robe. “You may begin… now.” He waved his wand, and Harry heard the door behind them lock.

Harry looked down at the test, which was quite thick. There seemed to be varied kinds of questions - true and false, open-ended, multiple choice, and as he flipped through, a couple of small essay questions as well. It seemed to cover every branch of magic that you would come across while being a Healer, Mediwizard or whatever. He picked up his quill and began to work.

~~~~~~~~~~

By lunch time, Harry’s head was throbbing. He had taken his time since they had eight hours. He was over halfway done, though. He would have plenty of time to double check his answers, but he didn’t want to overthink things and start changing the answers that were already right.

“Turn in your tests if you’re leaving. You can pick them up when you come back,” said Rutherford as he unlocked the doors. “If you finish early, you’re due back here at eight o’clock tomorrow morning for the practical portion.”

Harry got up and turned in his test. He left St. Mungo’s and Apparated to an alley off of Charing Cross Road. He made his way to a diner nearby and ate there before making his way back to St. Mungo’s. He picked his test up, and sat down at his seat and went back to work. He finished in a couple of hours with over a couple hours left on the clock. He double checked everything, making some minor changes before deciding that he should just take his chances and turn it in.

Harry did just that, getting a nod from Rutherford before he left.

When he got home, Hermione asked him how it went. “Well enough, I suppose,” Harry answered. “I still have one more day.” They ate dinner, and Hermione tried to get him to study more. “I don’t think I could fit any more information inside my head right now. I think it’s best if I just go to bed.” He didn’t sleep for a few hours of course and slept uneasily after that. He wondered if the nightmares and waking up shaking would ever go away. Or was that something that he was supposed to live with for the rest of the life? He wasn’t sure he could do this every night for the rest of his life. And there were no more potions for him, not unless he wanted to risk getting addicted again.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning, Hermione was still sleeping again. Harry cooked himself breakfast and then headed to St. Mungo’s. He made his way to the training room he’d been to the day before. The desks were gone now, replaced with many tables set up around the room in various stations. There seemed to be one for each of them, but they were set up in twos. Harry was a bit confused, so he just stood at the back of the room with everyone else.

Rutherford arrived shortly afterward with a few other Healers in tow. “Morning, everyone,” he said curtly. “As you can see, various stations have been set up for the practical portion of your exam. There are various stations to test to your skills and knowledge in regards to the various branches of magic with which you will be tested. As you can see, there are different groups. Pick one to start with, and you may go in any order you wish. Rules are the same as yesterday - hour lunch, locked doors, and eight hours.”

Rutherford walked to the only remaining desk in the room, his own. “I will be here to answer your questions if you have them, but I cannot help you figure out what to do only to understand the task with which you are set,” he said. “The others are fellow Healers here to assist me today. When you finish with one section, motion for one of us to come over if one of us is not already there. When you are done, you may leave. You will receive your results in about ten weeks. If you pass, you will receive your start date as well as the name of your trainer with your results. If you fail, you are free to retake this exam again whenever you wish.”

Rutherford looked around the room, and then pulled out his pocket watch again. “Your time starts… now.” Everyone rushed towards a table, but Harry had hesitated. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t doing Potions first, but on second thought, perhaps he should get that over with as soon as possible. However, he was stuck with what seemed to be a Herbology-related table.

Upon approaching the desk, there was parchment and quill set in a corner. He picked it up and found that it was the directions. He tried to pick another parchment out of curiosity and found he couldn’t. It was obviously spelled so you could only pick up one at a time. The parchment was simple enough to understand. It had a list of ailments that a patient was suffering, and asked which of the plants on the table might be the cause and which plant would help it. Harry stood there for a bit, thinking about it. He had to figure out what the plants were first, and once he’d done that, he looked at the list of ailments again.

When he was sure, he motioned one of the Healers over. He marked on the parchment the name of the plant and then handed over the parchment with the directions. The Healer gave a nod, not one approval or disapproval, but simply a nod that he had understood. Some marks were made on the parchment before he was waved off. Harry looked around the room, and finding one of the potions stations open, he quickly went over to claim that station before someone else could.

Harry grabbed the parchment and found the name of a potion that he was to complete. There were no directions, no ingredients. Various kinds of ingredients were around the table, as well as a cauldron. _They expect me to know what it is and how to make it,_ he said, and that made sense. He had to think for a moment, but then the ingredients came to him. Knowing how to make it and doing it successfully, though, were two different things. Harry vanished his first try, though, and remade it. It came out better the second time. He motioned one of the Healers over, and bottled up the vial and handed over his directions. The Healer made a couple of marks on it and bound the two together.

Harry had wasted quite a bit of time at the Potions table, and it was nearly lunchtime. He thought he had time for one more table. He found himself at a Defense table. There was nothing on this table except the parchment and quill. It had a list of ailments and asked which spell could have caused it and what spell would help slow down the ailments the patient was experiencing. Harry marked on the parchment before handing it over to a Healer.

It was lunchtime then. Harry left, going to the diner again before making his way back. The other tables went similarly as the ones before, and he finished with plenty of time. He simply nodded at Rutherford before leaving. Hermione seemed pleased that he’d finished early when he got home and asked him how it went. “Well enough,” he replied again. “I guess I’ll know in ten weeks.”

“Do you think you passed?” she asked.

Harry thought about that for a second. “Yeah, I mean…” He shrugged. “I feel pretty good about it. After all the studying I did. I had to redo my potion, but yeah… I think I passed. I hope I passed. If not, I’m taking it again, I suppose. There’s no use in worrying about it. I did the best I could, and that’s all there is to it.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry didn’t see any use in worrying about the exam anymore, but without that to occupy his mind, he was left to think about Severus. He tried not to, but he had no job yet and nothing else to do. Sure, in the morning before Hermione left for work and after she had got home, he had her to talk to. During the day when she was at work, though, he had nothing else to occupy his thoughts. Well, almost nothing...

Harry couldn’t shake the feeling that he had when he’d left Severus’s that final time. It couldn't be it; there had to be more. He tried to do anything but think about him. He tried reading more, had Teddy over. Nothing worked, though, at least not for long. After a couple of weeks, Harry went back to Severus’s shop to the back door, but he wouldn’t answer it. He couldn’t very well just stand there banging at the door, so he reluctantly left and went back home.

Soon after that, he was due at Hogwarts for one of his lectures. He went there, and couldn’t help but feel some sense of contentment as he looked upon the castle. With a sigh, he walked up and was greeted by Professor McGonagall in the Entrance Hall. “How are you, Harry?” she asked.

He nodded. “I’m all right, Professor,” he said.

“Please call me Minerva,” she said. “You are not a student anymore.”

That was true enough. She led him to the Great Hall where they waited for the students to arrive. Estelle Rockfort, the current Defense teacher, asked him what he was going to lecture on. Harry shrugged. “I think I’m going to talk about teamwork,” he told him. “I’ll figure it out. I always do.”

As the students started to arrive, Harry noticed something. They were still arriving by houses. There was some mingling, but for the most part, the houses were all segregated. He thought of Severus, and it made him angry that nothing seemed to have changed since Voldemort died. The tables had been moved, so all that was left were chairs. He knew exactly what he was going to talk about now.

After the students had sat down, Harry walked in front of them. “Can everyone hear me?” he asked, and there was some mumbling. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He waved his wand in the air with his wand and made a large circle. “I was going to talk about something else, but I’m changing my topic slightly.” He looked around at the segregated room. “This may not seem to make any sense, but I promise, I have a point. Each house has both good points and bad points, yes?” There were nods. “Right, so let’s go through them, shall we? Anyone can answer, but be careful of your prejudices.”

If Severus had taught him anything, Harry knew it was that you couldn’t take any of the other houses at face value. He had despised Slytherin house and look at what had happened now. He no longer despised Severus. In fact, his feelings right now were anything but that. “Okay, so let’s start with my house, let’s start with Gryffindor,” he said. “Give me three good traits. One at a time, please.” There were a few nervous hands around the room. He picked one, a small Gryffindor boy.

“What’s your name?” Harry asked.

“Roger Markson, sir,” he said. “Gryffindors are brave.”

Harry nodded and made two lines in the circle so that there were four equal sections. In one of them, he wrote the word ‘brave.' “Yes, that they are. Another one.” Two more traits were given - chivalrous and courageous, one by a Hufflepuff and the other by a Ravenclaw. “Now, only three will do. Now, for the negative traits. Again, be mindful of your prejudices.” He was trying to call upon someone from each house. This time, he called on a Slytherin, who answered with reckless. Another Gryffindor and a Ravenclaw came up with the other two negative traits that Harry had asked for - arrogance and immaturity.

Harry went through Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff next. For the Ravenclaws, the students came up with intelligent, creative, and witty for the positive traits. For the negative traits, they came up with arrogant, self-absorbed and skeptical. For Hufflepuffs, the good traits given to him were loyal, just and hardworking. The bad traits are given to him where that they were pushovers, passive-aggressive and stagnant.

Harry knew that he had annoyed each of the house when he had gone through their bad traits. “Keep in mind that this is stereotyping,” he said. “Not everyone will have these traits, of course, but with good traits comes bad, just like there are two sides of a coin.” This would be the hardest one, which is why he had left it for last. “Now, for Slytherin house - and I do not want to hear the words bad or evil or anything come out of anyone’s mouths. Do you hear me? I know for a fact that there were Death Eaters from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, so let’s not go there.” He was liable to start yelling if they did, and that was probably not the best thing to do right now.

There was some silence in the Great Hall before the students started giving out the good traits - cunning, resourceful, and ambitious. Then, Harry asked for the bad. Again, there was silence, but distrustful, power-hungry and selfish were given to him. “Now, I’m sure by now you are all wondering what in the bloody hell I’m getting at.” There was some laughing around the hall. “I said I had a point, and I do. So, when you’re fighting the Dark Arts, you need different kinds of people. I’m sure we can all agree on that. Everyone brings something different.”

Harry turned slightly towards his floating circle. “Okay, let’s go with something that might be a bit easier,” he said. “Say, let’s get rid of the Gryffindors. What you would be losing?”

A Gryffindor, who looked to be about fifth year, answered. “The fighters, those willing to go out to the front lines.”

“Yes, exactly,” Harry said. “What about Ravenclaws?”

As expected, it was a Ravenclaw that answered. “The planners. Without them, you don't have a plan, and everyone is just rushing in.”

Harry nodded. “Yes, very good. What about the Hufflepuffs? What do you lose?”

A small, Hufflepuff girl answered. “You would lose the glue, to hold everyone together,” she said. “Someone has to keep everyone going.”

“Yes, very good,” Harry said. “Now, what about the Slytherins?” He heard ‘nothing’ from somewhere. “No, now that’s not true! You do lose something. Now tell me what it is.”

It was a Slytherin boy, a sixth or seventh year, that answered. “The spies,” he said. “The one to do the dirty work that the others afraid to do, and get on the other side.”

Harry nodded. “Yes. You may think that you can do without any one house, but you need the traits from all the houses to defeat the Dark Arts,” he said. “You have to have everyone together. Without one part, it’s not whole, and it becomes a lot harder to get everything done. You need all different types of people, not just the Gryffindors or the Ravenclaws or what have you. You need everyone to do it. When you shut people out, you’re only making it easier for people like Voldemort do what they did. Don’t think just because he’s gone that it means there’ll never be another Dark Wizard. You can’t have good without evil, and when it does come, remember that you need everyone to succeed.”

“I know for a fact that I couldn’t have done it without various kinds of people,” Harry continued. “And that includes Slytherins.” He answered a few questions before the lecture was over, and people started to go back to whatever it was that they were doing this Saturday afternoon.

The entire thing had gotten him thinking about Severus. He knew that he couldn’t give up on him. He could be a persistent bastard when he wanted to be. He would find a way to make him see that, somehow. He just wasn’t quite sure how to do it or when and if he would make it happen yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry started to notice that Hermione stayed out late on Tuesdays and Thursdays. At first, he thought it was work, but it had been happening regularly on Tuesdays and Thursday. The other days, she would return home at around the same time. He found it rather odd, so a couple of weeks after the lecture, it was around the beginning of November, he decided to ask her about it. She had come home particularly late this time. “So, Hermione, where have you been going?” he asked as she walked in the door.

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, I know you better than that,” Harry told her. “You’ve been going somewhere, and it’s only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’m smarter than that. Are you seeing someone? That would be okay, you know, and I won’t tell Ron if you’re not ready for him to know yet.”

Hermione sighed. “No, I’m not seeing anyone,” she said, sitting next to him on the couch. “Look, this may sound… silly, but… I’ve been going to a Post-War Support Group.”

“A what?”

“A support group, Harry,” Hermione said, in her tone that said that she thought he should have understood. “For people needing to talk about the war, about moving on or about how they’re not moving on, or what have you. It’s all anonymous, of course, you’re not supposed to talk about what everyone else says or who they are or anything.”

“That doesn’t sound silly at all,” Harry said, quite seriously. “If anyone understands that, it would be me.”

Hermione nodded. “I know. It’s just…” Harry let her sit there for a bit, and she eventually continued. “I realized some things since Ron and I broke up.” She started fidgeting with her hands. “I think… I may have been using the two of you, and my relationship with him especially, to deal with everything. I didn’t want to say anything, because…. you’ve been going through enough as it is, and -”

“Listen, Hermione,” Harry said, putting an arm around her shoulder, and bringing her closer to him. “If you want to talk, at any time, I’ll listen. It’s like I said, if anyone understands struggling with these things, it’s me. If you don’t want to talk, well, you know me, I don’t want to talk either.”

Hermione leaned into him, but he could see a smile touching her lips. “I know. I just thought things would be so much simpler when He was gone.”

Harry nodded. “You and me both.”

Hermione looked up at him. “You know, you and I would probably be pretty well matched if I had the right parts and you weren’t a brother to me.”

Harry couldn’t help it, but he laughed. “Yeah, but what can you do about that now.” Hermione started giggling for no apparent reason after that but then moved on to dinner. During dinner, Harry asked another question that had been plaguing him. “So, why were you later today than usual?”

“Hmm? Oh, I was having a drink with someone from the group,” Hermione said.

“Oh? Anyone interesting?”

“Actually, yes,” Hermione said, “but you didn’t hear it from me. It was Draco, Draco Malfoy.”

Harry nearly spit out his drink at that remark. “Wait, you were having a drink with Draco Malfoy? Is this the same Malfoy we went to school with?”

“No, it isn’t,” Hermione said, quite frankly. “I can’t talk about it, but he’s changed. He seems to really regret a lot of things, you know? We started talking after the group sessions about a week ago or so, and tonight, we went for a friendly drink. He’s still a pompous, arrogant little shit, but he’s not as bad as used to be. And considering you and _Snape_ , if anyone would understand it would be _you_.”

Harry froze. He wondered how much Hermione guessed about his feelings for Severus. He hadn’t talked about it, and he wasn’t ready to, but he _had_ been rather upset when he came from having the door shut in his face. He knew it must have come out hypocritical. “Yeah, you’re right, sorry,” he told her. “If Severus and I can almost get past all that, then you and Draco can have a drink between friends.”

Hermione nodded. “Thank you, and yes, we can.” They watched some television for a bit before they both decided to go to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Hermione had told him that she was actually getting along with Draco, it made Harry think about Severus. Everything seemed to. He knew he had feelings for the old bastard, but he wasn’t sure what else to do about it. So, he went to his place again about a week after the conversation with Hermione. At least this time, Severus answered the door. “Look, Severus, I-”

“Potter, I  thought I made my feelings quite clear,” Severus said, the familiar sneer in place on his lips. “I shut the door in your face and told you to go away, and then refused to answer the last time you came here. I do _not_ want you around anymore. There is no reason for us to see each anymore. Surely even someone with your thick skull can realize that.”

Hurt washed through Harry at his words. That hurt quickly turned to anger, though. “Lie to yourself all you want, but I’m not stupid,” Harry said, as he clenched his fists. “I know you weren’t just looking at me because I was in your lab. I know there was more to it, and I’m not letting this go!” That was when Severus shut the door in his face. Harry kicked it but left. He knew he wouldn’t open it up again, and he wasn’t about to make a scene in the middle of Diagon Alley.

That was a tempting idea, though, because Severus was sure to let him in to avoid it ending up in the papers. But, the problem was that it would probably end up in the papers anyway, which he wasn’t so fond of.

Harry wasn’t going to give up, though. He couldn’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The only drawback with his continued issues with Severus was that the longer it went on, the more frustrated it made him. He could whine and cry about life not being fair, but that wasn’t news to him. His life had never been fair, and he hadn’t expected it to start now. He just wished that Severus would stop being so stubborn about all of this. He obviously felt the same way. He knew it wasn’t that simple, but for once, it should be. It wasn’t like Harry didn’t know Severus well enough to know what he was potentially getting into. He wasn’t stupid, contrary to what the potions master might think.

After he had come back from getting the door shut in his face _again_ , Harry was left in a sour mood. With no way to relieve his frustration, he was left with working out. He couldn't do that all the time, though. There was such a thing as overdoing it. He would read some, too, but that didn’t help. He just wanted Severus to come to his senses, but that wasn’t going to happen. So, he went to the gym as often as his body could handle without hurting himself.

“You know, Harry,” Hermione told him one day, “you should be careful about how often you go to the gym. You don’t want to hurt yourself.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Harry snapped at her. Honestly, while it was nice having her around, it was very annoying sometimes, too. She was honestly trying not to be a nag, but of course, every time something seemed to be wrong with him, she couldn't leave well enough alone. He knew that part of his anger with her was due to his frustration with Severus, but he couldn't do anything about _that_ now, could he? “I don’t need you nagging me. I am a full grown man, and you are my friend and roommate only, and you are living in _my_ apartment.”

Hermione, of course, got very upset with him over that, which made Harry feel guilty. “Just because you’re frustrated and upset, don’t take out your frustrations on me, please,” Hermione said firmly. “I am only trying to look after you, as any friend would.” She huffed away after that and went into her room.

Harry felt guilty but was a bit too prideful to admit that he shouldn’t have snapped at her. Besides, she would know that.

~~~~~~~~~~

About two weeks after that, Harry was hanging out with Ron. They hadn’t seen that much of each other lately. Granted, Harry didn’t see much of anyone anymore, but even less of Ron since he and Hermione had broken up. They just hung out, ate and played chess, but he knew that Ron could see that he was distracted.

“What’s wrong, mate?” Ron asked.

“Nothing.”

“That’s what you always say,” said Ron with a smirk.

“Maybe because if I wanted to talk about it, I would,” Harry said, with a cutting edge to his voice.

“Okay, no problem,” Ron said. “Just wondering.”

Harry, already feeling guilty about snapping at Hermione, just groaned. “Sorry, it’s just… I’ve been on edge a lot since the contract with Severus ended, and it’s just…”

“Wait, _Severus_?” Ron asked. The look on his face would have been funny if Harry hadn’t been so frustrated. “Since when did you refer to him by his first name?”

Harry froze for a moment. When _had_ he started doing that? Sure, he had called Severus by his first name, but he had never thought of him that way. When had that changed? “I don’t know,” Harry said, hoping that Ron would let this go. “I started calling him by his first name during the contract because it seemed dumb that we were still on last-name basis with everything that happened.”

Ron did _not_ seem completely convinced. “That makes sense, I guess,” the redhead said. “It still seems odd to hear you call him that.”

“Why?” Harry snapped again, his temper rising quickly. “Because he was our teacher? That was years ago. Get over it. Because he’s a sarcastic git? Yeah, so what. No one’s perfect.”

Ron blinked at him. “You’re defending him now?”

“So what?” Harry turned to him, his eyes blazing.

Ron put his hands up in defeat. “Okay, mate, whatever you say,” he said. “Calm down.”

Harry knew that he shouldn’t have snapped at Ron, but he was tired of everyone telling him how to feel, to calm down, as if he shouldn’t be angry and frustrated. Yeah, he shouldn't be taking out his anger on his friends. But Hermione had been nagging him, and Ron was being a short-sighted git. Perhaps hanging out with Ron wasn’t a good idea, but he couldn’t isolate himself either.

He wasn’t sure which annoyed him more right now.

Hermione told him later as they were heading off to bed that he couldn’t kill himself over everything or take his anger out on everyone because of what was going on. What else was he supposed to do, though? He could drink away his thoughts, but that was likely to cause him more problems that it helped, and any other stress relief wasn’t an option. It didn’t make things easy for him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Severus knew that he had done the only thing that made sense. He needed Harry out of his life. He was a distraction, and the potions master didn’t need that. Besides, Harry may have had some twisted sense that there was something more between them. There may have been some… slight attraction, but that was not enough. Keeping the young man around any longer would have been foolish for many reasons, and Severus Snape was _not_ a fool by any means.

Lucius had come over the day of the final contract date with Harry. He had, of course, asked about the Golden Boy. Severus wasn’t sure why the blond had such a fascination with it all. Fine. He was attracted to him. That didn’t mean that he was going to keep that foolish young man around. He wasn’t a fool.

“The contract ended today,” Severus had told him. “I gave him his final dose of the potion, as agreed, and told him to have a nice life.”

Lucius had stared at him for a second. “You did what?”

“What did you expect me to do?” Severus had asked him. “We have no reason to talk or be in each other's lives anymore.”

“Except for the fact that you’re attracted to him,” Lucius had said with a smirk.

Severus had just glared at him. “I have no reason to want him in my life anymore. We are both better off this way.”

Lucius had waited until he left to say one more thing on the matter, always needing to have the last word. “Severus, you are typically an intelligent man, but on this, you are a daft idiot.” He had then flipped his hair over his shoulder before he left, not allowing Severus to get a single word in.

Lucius hadn’t mentioned the matter since, and neither for that matter had Severus. He had spoken the truth - things were better this way. Besides, even if he and Harry were both interested in… continuing to see each other… it would only end in disaster. It was better to avoid the situation entirely. He saw no reason to do something so idiotic as to keep Harry around.

Severus continued about his life. He continued making potions, which was his life. Of course, his staff seemed to be getting more incompetent than usual. They were lucky none of them had gotten fired. He saw Lucius for their weekly chess meetings and was dragged over to Malfoy Manor for dinner. Of course, Harry was a persistent bastard. He tried coming over a few times. The first time, Severus didn’t even dignify his knocks with a response. The second time, he opened up the door, but only to tell him the truth - that he didn’t want him around. Harry had actually looked hurt and tried to make his case again, but Severus had once again shut the door in his face.

The third time was a couple of weeks after that, and Severus had simply walked to the door and told him to go away. After all, he didn’t like being harassed. Next time, he would hex him if that’s what it took. Harry was obviously so dim-witted that he couldn’t understand the meaning of the words “Go away.” He would figure it out one day.

Things were better this way. This was the way it needed to be.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was the second week in December, and Harry had waited anxiously for ten weeks. Finally, it was here - his results of his Healer’s Entrance Exam. The owl had pecked on the window that morning. Hermione had already left for work, so he was alone in the apartment. He could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest, and his palms were getting sweaty, too.

Harry let the owl in, and he stuck out his leg. Carefully, he reached out and grabbed the letter, untying it. It was from St. Mungo’s, as he had expected. There was always a chance that it wasn’t, but the results had been due for a couple of days now. He tore open the envelope.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_Thank you for sitting the Healer’s Entrance Exam. We have enclosed your results for you to look over. We are pleased to inform you that you have passed. Please see the enclosed results for notes and your overall average scores._

_You are due for your first day of work a week from today on Monday, December 10th. You are to report to Healer Brown on the fourth floor, the Spell Damage floor. Please report at eight o'clock in the morning, sharp. You will have more details explained to you at that time._

_Once again, thank you and congratulations._

_Sincerely,  
_ _Jonas Rutherford  
_ _Head of Training_  
_St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries_

A bright smile crossed Harry’s face. He had passed! He quickly grabbed the second page, which was his results page.

 _Written Portion Score: 84%  
_ _Practical Portion Score: 88%  
_ _Average Score: 86%_  
_Verdict: Passed_

There were notes of mistakes he had made in his written portion, as well as in the practical portion. All in all, Harry was very pleased. He had passed! That was the important thing. He was starting work next week! He finally felt like he had some purpose in life and wasn’t just some mindless drifter. Sure, it was going to take a couple of years, but he was going to be a Healer!

Harry knew that things weren't going to be easy. They would need to question him about his addiction; he knew that. He wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t addicted anymore, though, so he had nothing to fear. He was also a very determined person. He would be fine. It would take time, but now at least he had some direction in life. That might make things easier for him; he wasn’t sure.

Harry set the results down on the table. _I want to see Severus,_ he thought to himself. He felt that he needed to tell him that he had passed, that all the work he had done in his lab hadn’t been for naught. He wanted to tell him. So, Harry left his apartment, and walked down to the alley, finding himself shortly in Diagon Alley.

Harry was making his way to Severus’s shop when someone stopped in front of him. “Excuse me,”  he said, making his way to go around him without seeing who it was. He just wanted to get to Severus’s. The figure stepped back slightly and then drew his wand.

Harry froze. He felt his whole body tense, and his senses heightened. Time seemed to slow a little bit as he stepped back and looked at the figure pointing his wand from a shaky, unsteady hand. “Dennis?”

It was Dennis Creevey, but he didn’t look like the Dennis Creevey he’d known in school. He still had the same mousy brown hair, but his brown eyes were no longer kind. They were wide and bloodshot. He was three years younger than Harry, but he looked older somehow, though Harry couldn’t place why.

“You!” Dennis cried.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked. People were starting to take notice and were milling around, whispering and talking about what was going on. Who was this kid pointing a wand at Harry Potter? Harry also remembered that Dennis should still be a student at Hogwarts if his memory served. Come to think of it, though, he hadn’t remembered seeing him among the students when he did his lecture. Why was that? Didn’t he have one year left or was Harry doing his math wrong? That was entirely possible.

“Everything!” Dennis yelled. “And it’s all your fault!” Tears were streaming down his face now.

Harry put one of his hands up, in what he hoped was a peaceful and comforting gesture. “Whatever it is, we can talk about it. Just lower your wand.”

Harry knew he had good reflexes, faster than Dennis. He slowly reached for his wand, and that’s when things got a bit insane. Dennis started shooting spells from his wand, yelling at him to stop. Harry froze again, lucky that one hadn’t hit him. He knew the danger if a spell accidentally hit his chest, but no one else did.

“We can talk, Dennis, just calm down!”

“Calm down! CALM DOWN! You did it; you killed him!” Dennis said, tears no longer flowing. Instead, he looked enraged. “He’s dead BECAUSE OF _YOU!_ YOU KILLED MY BROTHER! HE DIED FIGHTING FOR _YOU!”_

Harry tried to calm him down, and when that didn’t work, he tried to back up a bit, to give Dennis more space. He could Apparate out of here, but he didn’t want anyone else injured because he had left. Why was Dennis blaming him for Collin’s death?

Dennis’s words became more erratic after that, and then he started shooting spells at him again. Harry tried to talk to him, but it was clear that it wasn’t working. Dennis just kept going on about Collin’s death being on his hands. Harry tried to dodge the spells and managed to grab his wand, but it was hard to get a spell in when Dennis was being so erratic. He was just moving around, and shooting spells wildly as if he was some crazed lunatic.

Harry lifted his wand to stun him, and then all of a sudden, an intense pain shot through him, one that he had only felt once before. He looked up and saw that Dennis wand had been pointed straight at Harry's chest. The spell was harmless, whatever it was, or he would have felt another effect of the spell. That is unless the intense pain he was feeling was blocking anything else. Harry reached up a hand and gripped his chest. It felt like a heart attack. He knew his heart was going to speed up so much that it would start to slow and then stop completely. That was the price he had to pay for being hit with the dark spell in the Weasley’s shed. It was why he had quit the Auror Department. The air was being taken from his lungs, too. He couldn’t breath; he couldn’t think; all he could feel was pain.

Harry tried to ask for help, tell someone to get Ron or Hermione. No words would come, though. The last thing he felt was the pain in his heart and lungs as he felt himself swaying. The last thing he saw was the sky before darkness overtook him.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione hoped that Harry got his results in. He worked hard, and after everything he’d been through, he deserved it. Maybe this would help him move on past everything. She knew it wasn’t as easy as all that, but he deserved to at least try and be happy. She was working on her own issues. She knew that she shouldn’t depend on Ron and Harry so much for her own happiness, to deal with things… That’s why she had found the post-war support group. She hadn’t expected to find Draco there, though.

Hermione was surprised at what Draco was like now. Of course, he was different in the meetings than out of it. She had despised him before, but now… She wasn’t sure about anything. He was still a pompous, selfish, arrogant git but he wasn’t as obnoxious before. They certainly had no problems communicating, and he never hesitated to tell her what he thought even if he knew she would disagree. Actually, that had been part of the fun of it. Sure, he didn’t think Muggleborns were scum anymore, obviously, but that didn’t mean they agreed on everything.

At first, they had just started to talk after the meetings, and then he had invited her to have a drink… between friends, of course. Those simple drinks had been getting longer every time. She was starting to wonder if… but no. That wouldn’t make any sense. She didn’t want to let herself go there, even though it  _had_ been over three months since she had broken off the engagement with Ron.

Hermione went to work that day and put her mind to the task. She had a long list of things to get done today. It wasn’t even a couple of hours when she heard whispering going around the office. She wished that they would stop that. It was terribly annoying. That is until she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Turning, she saw a familiar but unwelcome sight - the Lynx Patronus of Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic. She had seen it once before, at Bill and Fleur’s wedding. It hadn’t brought good news then, and she had a bad feeling now.

Kingsley’s voice came out of the Lynx’s mouth. “There has been an accident. Harry’s at St. Mungo’s. Spell Damage Ward.”

Hermione’s hands flew up to her face. Her whole body shook. Tears started to stream down her face. If Harry went to St. Mungo’s, that could only mean one thing - either it was very serious, and he knew he couldn’t make it into the Infirmary at Hogwarts or he wasn’t able to. Was he unconscious? How bad was he hurt?

Hermione jumped up at ran over to her boss. “Mr. Morgansen, I have to go now,” she said. “I’m sorry, I’ll be back if I can. I’m sorry!” With that, she left and ran out. She left the Ministry and went to a nearby alleyway and Apparated to Diagon Alley. There were Aurors around, and she knew that meant it wasn’t good. Had Harry been here in Diagon Alley? If so, why?

Hermione tried not to think about it because she was likely to break down into tears. She needed to keep it together, just for a little bit longer. She found the joke shop and ran inside. There always seemed to be people in here no matter what time of day. She hoped that he was working today, but it was George she ran into. “George, where’s Ron?” she practically begged.

“Oh, he’s in the back, what’s up?” George said, but she ran past him without another word.

Hermione ran straight into the employee area and into the back of the shop, with George right behind her. “Ron!” She cried as soon as she saw him. “You have to come. Now. It’s Harry.”

Ron froze in the middle of his work and looked up at her. “What’s wrong with Harry?”

“I don’t know. He’s in St. Mungo’s, I got Kingsley’s Patronus,” she said, all her strength beginning to wane. If anything happened to Harry… “Some accident. There're Aurors everywhere here.”

Both brothers looked at each other. “That’s what that commotion was earlier. There was some commotion not too long ago on the other side of the alley,” he said, walking towards her. “Come on, let’s go. George -”

George shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Go.”

Ron grabbed her arm, and they went out the back door. Ron side-along Apparated her outside of St. Mungo’s. The two of them made their way inside. They went straight to the lift, and up to the fourth floor, the Spell Damage Ward. Ron grabbed the arm of the nearest worker. “Where is Harry Potter?” When she hesitated, he practically shook her.

“Fifth room down, the one with the most Healers in it,” she said, and then quickly got away from Ron.

Ron and Hermione made their way straight down the door she had indicated to find it locked. There were four Healers in there, and a few more attendants helping them out. Harry was clearly not conscious. Hermione started to get frantic. They didn’t understand. They didn’t know what the problem was, and if she didn’t tell them, then chances are he would die before they could help him.

Hermione started to slam on the door. One of the Healers nodded to the others, and then made his way out. “Mr. Weasley, Ms. Granger,” he said. “I am Healer Brown. Mr. Potter is in bad shape, and we’re trying to figure out what happened. As soon as I find out -”

“Please shut up and listen to me,” Hermione pleaded, tears streaming down her face. “You don’t know what’s wrong with him. It has nothing to do with what happened -”

“Ms. Granger,” Healer Brown snapped, “I understand that he is your friend, but I am one of the most experienced Healers on this floor. Do _not_ tell me how to do my job.” He turned to go back in the room.

“Then shut up and listen to her unless you want Harry’s death on your hands,” Ron said.

That got the Healer to freeze. He turned around. “That is -”

“He has a previous injury!” Hermione yelled before he could stop her. “He was hit by a dark spell by accident over a year ago. It was the reason why he quit the Auror Department. We had him treated elsewhere. There’s a specific potion that can be used to lessen the effects, but as far as we know nothing else works, and if you try to do anything else, you’ll only make it worse!” She said it all in one breath and found herself breathing heavily afterward.

Healer Brown looked at her for a second. “That does explain why our typical methods of dealing with and detecting attacks of this sort aren’t working,” he said. “What potion?” Hermione rattled off the list of the ingredients and how to make it. “We don’t keep that one on hand, and I’m not familiar with it. It’s similar to ones we have, though-”

“Harry has one at home,” she said. “I’ll go and get it.”

Ron stopped her. “No, I’ll get it. Where is it?” Hermione told him where Harry kept his potions.

Hermione felt like the wait took forever, but Ron returned quickly and handed the potion to Healer Brown. He disappeared into Harry’s room. She looked over at Ron. She still hadn’t stopped crying. “What if he dies? What are we going to do? It must have been bad; he wasn’t conscious. They didn’t know about the injury. What if -?”

Ron cut her off. “He won’t.”

“But what if -”

“Hermione stop,” he said. “Harry’s a survivor. He’s not going to be beaten by some random attack in Diagon Alley. I wonder who it was, and what happened.”

In a minute or so, Healer Brown came out of the room. The other Healers followed, and Brown stayed behind. “We have him stabilized; the potion worked. I wrote down what you said, and I’ll have our potions maker make it. I have a feeling he’ll need it.”

“How bad is it?” Hermione asked, her voice shaking.

Brown sighed. “I won’t lie to you,” he told him. “Whatever spell hit him, it’s bad. We got him stabilized, but he’s very weak. The damage to his chest and lungs has worsened. What spell was it that originally damaged him?”

“It was some dark spell that can be put on an object and lashed out at other people,” Hermione said. “It was an accident. We were told that it is designed to do damage to the chest and lungs no matter what, and cause heart-attack like reactions. Any spell to the chest will cause further damage. That’s what we were told.”

Healer Brown nodded. “Considering everything, it makes sense,” he said. “The next twenty-fours will be key. If he makes it through the night, he’ll probably live. He’s very weak, though. The damage has spread and weakened his entire body. Now that we got the damage to his chest under control, we can do what we can to try and heal the rest of his body. We’re going to keep spells on him to keep him breathing and keep his heart beating just in case.”

Hermione’s hands flew up to her face, as she tried to imagine what it would be like if Harry died. “He can’t die. He can’t.”

“We’ll do everything we can,” Healer Brown said. “You can see him in a minute once I finish, but you’ll need to make it quick.” With that, he went back inside the room.

Hermione looked over at Ron, who put an arm around her. “He’ll be okay, you’ll see,” he said. She nodded, and then shrugged off his arm.

In a few minutes, Brown came back out. “I’ve done what I can. For now, we just need to keep him under observation,” he said. “You can go in and see him now. I’ll be back shortly. I have to go contact our potions maker and give him the directions for the potion you recommended. If anything happens, get a Healer immediately. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

He turned and walked away down the hall, leaving Ron and Hermione standing outside the door. Hermione walked in slowly. She had been friends with the two of them, Ron and Harry, for over ten years now. She wasn’t sure what she could deal with either of them dying, even Ron. She approached Harry’s bed and looked down at him. He looked incredibly weak.

Ron came to stand next to her. “He doesn’t look good, does he?”

Hermione shook her head in agreement. “No, he doesn’t,” she told him. “And it could have been anything that he was hit with and might have caused the same reaction.” She looked over at Ron. “And because of the public area in which this happened, it’s going to be all over the Prophet tonight and tomorrow. That’s going to be so awful for him.”

Ron nodded. “Yeah, it will be,” he agreed, “but we’ll do what we can to help him like we always do.”

Hermione nodded, and right then, a thought occurred to her. “I need to go,” she said quickly. “I need to go see Snape.”

Ron looked down at her, his brows furrowed in confusion, and shock was written all over his face. “What? Why?”

“Just call it a hunch,” Hermione told him. “He’ll want to know. Trust me. I’ll be back. Can you stay here until I get back?” Ron nodded. “Thanks!” With that, she ran out and headed back to Diagon Alley.

~~~~~~~~~~

Severus was working on a few potions when he heard a knock at the door. No one came to the back door except for Harry and Lucius, and Lucius never knocked. Therefore, it _must_ be Harry. _He can’t get the idea that I don’t want him around,_ he thought to himself. _Persistent bastard._ He put his potions in stasis with a groan, and then went to the door. There was another knock as he neared. “Potter, how many times have I told you,” he said as he opened up the door, “not to-” His voice stilled as it was not Harry Potter who was there, but Hermione Granger. “Ms. Granger, what are you doing here?” Her eyes were bloodshot, almost as if she had been crying.

“It’s Harry, sir,” Granger said. “He’s…” She shook her head. “There was an accident, here in Diagon Alley. I don’t know what happened yet, but he was hurt pretty badly. He’s not conscious. They don’t even know if he’ll, I mean if he…” Tears started to form in her eyes again. “It’ll be all over in the papers, too. It’s just horrible.”

Severus felt a mix of emotions. He was still confused as to why Granger had decided to come here. He didn’t for a second think that Harry had decided to confess anything to her. Was she assuming things on her own? Why had Harry been in Diagon Alley? Was he going to visit the joke shop owned by the surviving Weasley twin? Or had he been coming to see him? He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but he did feel anger over hearing that Harry had been injured. He wanted to find who did it and… No, he shouldn’t care that Harry was injured, but he did.

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked, keeping his voice even.

Granger didn’t respond at first, and then very carefully, she said, “I just thought you might like to know, that’s all.”

“Well, I do not care what happens to Potter,” he said, “although it is regrettable that he gets more attention for this than he already does.”

Granger nodded. “Very well,” she said. “I’m heading back to the hospital. I just… thought you’d want to know.”

Severus simply shut the door in her face, only then allowing his anger to overtake him. His hands curled into fists, and he had to fight to resist the urge to go and hex someone to let out his frustration. Without going back to his potions, he headed upstairs to his fireplace. He grabbed a fist full of Floo Powder and threw it into the fire. “Malfoy Manor!” he called out, sticking his head in.

The drawing room of Malfoy Manor came into view, as did a nervous house elf. “Your Master. Now!” The house elf nodded and disappeared.

A moment later, Lucius Malfoy came into view and kneeled before the fire. “You called, Severus?”

“I need you to do me a favor,” Severus said, knowing that owing the blond a favor wasn’t necessarily a good thing. He shouldn’t be doing this, but he had called the Manor before he could stop himself. “I need you to stop a story from appearing in the Daily Prophet. It would appear tonight and most likely tomorrow as well.”

Lucius raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what would this story be about?”

Severus instantly regretted doing this, but it was too late to turn back now. “Harry Potter.”

“Of course it is.”

Severus narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know what you mean, Lucius,” he told him. “He was involved in some commotion earlier and got himself injured.”

“You were supposed to fuck him, not develop feelings for him,” Lucius said.

“I haven’t,” Severus said, his anger showing in his voice. He didn’t need to be lectured by Lucius of all people. “I merely think that Potter doesn’t need any more publicity.”

“You’re asking me for a favor just for that?” Lucius asked. “Yet you claim to _not_ have feelings for him? If you say so. Sure, I’ll do it, but stop being in denial, Severus.”

Severus pulled his head out, ending the Floo Call. He didn’t want to hear anymore of Lucius lecturing him. Besides, he wasn’t in denial, contrary to what his old friend might think. Harry, however, didn’t need such publicity. His name was in the paper too much as it was. Besides, it was for the best that Harry stay out of his life.

Severus then went back to work; he couldn’t get Harry out of his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione went straight back to St. Mungo’s and found Ron sitting next to Harry’s bed. “Any change?” she asked him.

Ron shook his head. “No, none at all,” he said. “Did Snape care that Harry was hurt?”

“No, he didn’t seem to,” Hermione said, but she still got the feeling that there was more going on there than either Harry or Snape were admitting.

They sat there for a while, not saying anything to each other. Hermione wasn’t sure what Ron was thinking, but Hermione kept hoping that Harry would wake up. It was about then that they heard a knock at the door. It wasn’t Healer Brown or any of the St. Mungo’s staff. It was an Auror. “Mr. Weasley, Ms. Granger,” he said solemnly. “I’m Auror Jacobs. I have come to update you on the case regarding the attack on Mr. Potter.”

 _Of course_ , Hermione thought to herself, _they’d want to keep us updated. We are, for all intents and purposes, Harry’s family._

“I was just about to go and find someone,” Ron said. “So, who attacked him?”

“It is still very early in the investigation, but we do know some things. Many witnesses saw Dennis Creevey confront him in Diagon Alley,” said the Auror.

Shock ran through Hermione at that, and judging by Ron’s expression, he was shocked, too. “Creevey?” Ron said in disbelief. “I don’t believe that.” It didn’t seem something the boy they went to school with, who idolized Harry, would do.

The Auror shrugged. “Everyone agreed on that,” he said. “The witnesses say he seemed erratic, accusing him of killing his brother. Apparently, Mr. Potter tried to reason with him and failed. That was when he started shooting spells, though the witnesses say it was erratic. It is possible that Mr. Creevey didn’t mean to hurt him, but considering that Mr. Potter lost consciousness after that, and hasn’t regained it, there’s no telling. We’re questioning his parents right now. We will keep you updated.”

Hermione nodded. “Harry had a previous injury, which contributed to him losing consciousness,” she said, “which the spell that Dennis used would have added to.” Hermione knew that Harry wouldn’t have wanted that information out. She also didn’t want the Auror investigation to say that it was Dennis’s spell, whatever it was, that caused Harry to be so seriously hurt.

“I’ll make a note of that,” Auror Jacobs said. With that, he left.

“At least, they came to keep us updated,” Ron said.

“Yeah, probably because they didn’t want either of us coming down to the Ministry and yelling at them,” she said, “especially since you used to work there and I still do.” She looked back down at Harry.

“I wonder why Dennis would blame Harry,” Ron said. “Colin fought by choice. It wasn’t Harry’s fault.”

Hermione shook her head. “No, it isn’t, but he’s not the only one. It’s like Harry blaming himself for everything - sometimes, people just need someone to blame.” That was when Healer Brown returned.

“I suggest you two go home,” Brown said. “I understand, being very close to him, that you are concerned, but his condition isn’t changed and isn’t likely to change. He’ll be unconscious for some time. I suggest that you go home. If anything happens, I’ll make sure that you are alerted immediately. There’s nothing you can do for him right now. If you want to stay, though, you are free to.”

Hermione nodded, but she didn’t want to leave. However, she did need to go back to work to talk to her boss. It might do her some good to get some work done and distract herself from how sick her best friend was. “He’s right, Ron,” she said, a sad tone in her voice as she took Ron out of the room.

“But -” Ron said as they left the room.

“He’s right,” Hermione said, as she gazed back through the doorway. “We can’t help him. I’m coming back later, though, but I need to go back to work. I need to at least talk to my boss. I kind of ran off in a rush when I got Kingsley’s Patronus.”

“Of course, you did,” Ron said, “and I’ll go and talk to George and the rest of the family. They’ll want to know.”

Hermione nodded. “And I’ll go and tell Andromeda.”

“If you need anything, you know…”

Hermione smiled at Ron. “Thanks, Ron, I appreciate that,” she told him. With that, they both left. She did appreciate it, but she didn’t want Ron to get the idea that there was going to be anything going on between them. She had told him maybe, but now that time has passed… She still cared about Ron and didn’t want him getting his hopes up only to get hurt again.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione had gone back to work to talk to her boss. She’d worked for the rest of the day, although she kept getting distracted and worried about Harry. She went to see him after she talked to Andromeda, but his condition remained unchanged. She didn’t want to leave, but she knew that she couldn’t just sit by his bedside making herself sick. The rest of the Weasley clan showed up little by little to visit Harry. It made Hermione smile to know how many people cared about him now.

Hermione was surprised, though, because when the Prophet came out that night, there was no article on Harry. Ron was confused too. It was about that time that Auror Jacobs came back to give them an update.

“From what we can tell, Mr. Creevey has not been the same since the war,” he said. “His brother apparently snuck out of the dorms to fight in the battle and died. From what we found out yesterday, he blames Mr. Potter for his brother’s death and not defeating You-Know-Who earlier. Mr. Creevey said he didn’t intend to hurt him, but was merely upset and wanted to confront him. He also says, though, that he was enraged and lost control.”

Hermione couldn’t believe that such a kind, sweet boy could have fallen so far in just a few years. “What about his parents? What did they say?”

“Pretty much what I’ve been saying,” Auror Jacobs said. “We sent someone familiar with Muggles to talk to them since Mr. Creevey’s parents are Muggles. They said he hadn't been the same since that battle, but that they don’t know much. He dropped out of school at the end of last year, though. They said he shows up every now and again, but that he’s changed a lot.”

Hermione nodded. It was hard to believe, but there were a lot of witnesses. Harry would feel horrible if - no, when he woke up - to know that Dennis blamed him that much. That would have been like George blaming Harry, and he clearly didn’t. Sure, George was not the same, but he didn’t blame Harry for Fred’s death. Neither did Ron, or any of their siblings.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione went home that night and found herself unable to sleep very well. After all, Harry was supposed to be in the next room and instead he was lying, perhaps near death, in St. Mungo’s. The next morning, there was no article either. This really got her confused as she went to see Harry. Ron was already there. He wasn’t in his magenta robes, indicating that he probably had the morning off. There was no change in Harry at all. That was about when a familiar voice called her name.

“Hermione,” the voice said. “Good,  you’re here.” She turned to see Draco walking towards her.

“Malfoy -” Ron said, but she cut him off.

“Draco!” She cried. “You’re here!” She was honestly surprised to see him.

He scoffed. “Of course I am,” the blond said. “I work here, remember? I tried to come by and see you last night, but you had left already. I had to brew some new potion for our star patient.” He slipped an arm around her shoulder. “Not doing well, I hear. How are you?”

Hermione leaned into him. She really appreciated that he was here, more than she could say and more than she thought she would. He had come to check on her to make sure that she was okay, and that meant the world to her right now. She could feel Ron glaring at them, though. “Thanks, I’m glad you came to see me,” she said, “and no, he’s not doing very well. He hasn’t woken up, but he made it through the night, so that’s a good sign.” She took a deep breath. “You remember Ron?”

The two gave each other stiff nods, quickly muttering each other’s last names as a way of greeting. “I need to be getting to work,” Hermione said, “but Ron and I were just talking about why there was no Prophet article. It’s strange, don’t you think?”

Draco shook his head, a smug smirk on his face. “Not really,” he said. She gave him a confused look as another familiar voice spoke.

“Because I asked Lucius Malfoy to quiet the article,” came the familiar voice of Severus Snape from behind them. He looked at her and Draco but didn’t say anything. “That’s actually why I came here.”

“I knew Father stopped it; I just didn’t know why,” Draco said. “I had to work late last night. Why would you ask him to do that?” Hermione elbowed him. “Ow, what?” She sent both him and Ron a quelling look.

“We should go,” Hermione said. “I have to get to work and do something since I only worked part of the day yesterday.” She didn’t want to leave Harry, though.

Draco nudged her. “He’ll be here when you get back. Go to work, Hermione. I’ll let you know if something happens,” he told her. “I’ll see you later.”

Hermione nodded, but Ron volunteered to stay behind. He glared at Draco as he walked off, which made her just roll her eyes. He hadn’t grown up at all, had he? Draco hadn’t glared at him at all, though he hadn’t been overly friendly either. As she walked off, she glanced back to see Severus gazing in at Harry before he followed her out of St. Mungo’s.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione stopped by during lunch, and then that night as well. There was no change. She would just sit by Harry's bedside, hoping that he would wake up. It was painful to see him like this. Healer Brown said he was breathing okay, but the spells to keep him breathing and his heart beating was only a precaution in case something happened. His condition was still delicate, and the fact that he hadn’t woken up yet… He said it could be a bad sign, but it wasn’t necessarily. Only time would tell, and she just needed to be patient. He wasn’t getting worse, and that _was_ a good sign.

Hermione reached out and took Harry’s hand. It felt normal like he should wake up at any moment. But he wasn’t. She squeezed it, and ran her thumb over his fingers, hoping to prove some sort of reaction. She got nothing. She refused to believe that he would never wake up. She had no idea what she would do without him. It was then that she felt a hand on her shoulder and nearly jumped out her skin. She turned rapidly around to find Draco looking down at her.

“Draco, what are you doing here?” Hermione asked, honestly surprised to see him here in Harry’s room. Her eyes quickly went back down to Harry.

“To see you, of course,” Draco said with a wave of his hand. “I had a feeling you’d be here. Have you even gone home today?” Hermione knew that her silence would be answer enough. “Come on, come to dinner with me. You need to eat, and I bet you haven’t eaten anything either.” He held out his hand for her. “Potter will be here when you get back. Harry is not going anywhere.”

Hermione looked up into his face, the use of Harry’s first name coming out of Draco’s mouth shocking her a bit. She wondered what she should do. Part of her felt like she should stay here with Harry. He needed her, but… She _wanted_ to go to dinner with Draco. He was being so supportive. Besides, she knew he was right. Harry wasn’t going anywhere.

Hermione took a deep breath, and reached over, putting her hand in Draco’s. “You’re right,” she told him, tearing her eyes away from Harry. “I haven’t eaten since this morning, and that was rushed.”

Draco smirked. “I thought so,” he said.

~~~~~~~~~~

Within a few minutes, Draco had Apparated them to a beautiful, slightly upscale Wizarding restaurant in London. She gasped and turned her head quickly to look over at him. “Draco, I’m not dressed for this!”

He waved his hand in a nonchalant manner. “Nonsense, you look fine,” he told her. “I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t think so.”

Hermione nodded, but she still felt out of place. Draco led her inside, and the Host looked up from the podium he was standing at. “Ah, Mr. Malfoy, a pleasure to see you,” he said. “Right this way.” The Host didn’t hesitate, and quickly they were led to a nice table near the window. “I hope you find this table satisfactory.” He set the menus in front of them.

“Of course, this is fine, Bernard, thank you,” Draco said, not glancing at him.

Bernard nodded. “Charlie will be right with you.” With that, the host swept off.

Hermione opened her menu and glanced at it. The prices were a bit on the high side, but she could still afford it. “You come here often, I take it?” She wished he would have told her they were going to a nice place. She knew that he had high tastes, and.... “I could have gone home and changed real quick, you know? It doesn’t take me that long.”

Draco sighed. “I told you, Hermione, there’s nothing wrong with how you look, at all. If I had thought so, I would have suggested you change. Obviously, I do not.”

Hermione nodded. She appreciated that, but still. She also wished she would have known in advance because she wasn’t used to going to places like this unless it was a very special occasion. That was about when their waiter, Charlie, came over.

He smiled at them. “Wonderful to see you again, Mr. Malfoy,” he said. “And your lovely guest. What can I get to you two to drink tonight? Our special is a fillet of beef with a red wine reduction sauce, roasted potatoes, and grilled vegetables. Our soup of the night is a White Onion Soup.”

“Er, I’ll have a water, please,” Hermione said.

“Nonsense,” Draco said almost instantly. “Give her a Riesling. Have you tried it, Hermione? You should. I’ll take a Merlot.”

Charlie nodded. “Of course. Are you ready to order, or do you need a moment?” Hermione nodded. “Brilliant, what can I get for you, ma’am?” Hermione ordered the special with a house salad with vinaigrette dressing. Draco ordered the same but got soup instead. The waiter smiled, said he’d put that right in and walked off.

Draco asked Hermione about work. She told him about some of the changes she was trying to make working in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, but that there were other things that she wanted to do. She loved her job, but she was limited in what she could do and the changes that she could make because of her position in that department. She had to go through so many hoops to get things done. She just thought that some things could be streamlined a bit.

“Sounds like you should do that yourself,” Draco told her as he sipped his wine, which had been delivered during her speech.

Hermione blinked at him. “Do it myself?”

Draco nodded. “You’re an intelligent woman,” he said. “I’ve told you before that you need to switch to another department. I know you like your job, but if you really want to do more change, you need to switch to a department with a bit more power, like… the Magical Law Enforcement Department. You may not like it, but it’ll the best way to make yourself heard.”

Hermione noticed that Draco didn’t say he agreed with some of the things she had done - changes she initiated for House Elves, Werewolves, and the like. They had in-depth discussions, and the change was slow to come, of course. She understood to a point, at least now, where he was coming from. He had been raised in a strict, pureblood household and that made for a certain way of thinking. Ron actually would agree with him on some things, not that either would admit that.

“Yeah, you may have a point there,” Hermione grudgingly admitted as she ate her salad, which had been served towards the beginning of her talk. “You’re right; I don’t have enough pull yet. I’m still rather new to the Ministry. I’ve only worked there two and a half years, and I’ve already done quite a bit for someone so young. It’s just… I want to do more.” 

Draco nodded. “Then, do it, because although you can try to get things through to other departments to get them done, nothing will be done right if you don’t do it yourself.”

Hermione nodded and then asked about his work. He went on about the potions he was making, and the challenges of keeping up with the potion making he had to do. She knew he loved it and was simply over exaggerating. That was his style, of course. Their dinner was served about halfway through him talking about a new potion he was trying to do. She offered a couple of suggestions, which he took with a polite nod, saying that he’d keep them in mind.

As they ate and talked, Hermione was once again struck by how differently things were with him than with Ron. Yes, she knew that she and Ron had been dating for three years while she and Draco were merely friends, but… Draco always offered her suggestions, challenged her opinions. She couldn’t count how many times they had gotten into in-depth discussions about the pros and cons of some new law the Ministry was implementing. As their dinner plates were taken away, she didn’t want the night to end. Charlie asked if they’d like to order dessert.

“What do you think?” Draco asked her.

Hermione shook her head. “No, thank you, I couldn’t eat another bite.”

“You should take a piece of their Cheesecake home, it’s delicious,” he said. “Make that two please, both to go, and then we’ll take the check.”

Hermione was glad she’d only ordered one glass of wine because she didn’t think she could have afforded this otherwise. Besides, she only _needed_ one glass. It was then that she realized that Draco had asked for the check, without asking for it to be split. They always split things. Was it just because it was a fancier restaurant? She wasn’t poor. “You know, you don’t have to pay for me, Draco.”

Draco smirked at her. “I typically pay for a woman when I take her out a date.”

Hermione stared at him for a second before a deep blush crossed her cheeks. “Yes, of course,” she said, her voice sounding rather embarrassed and small. _A_ date _? This was a_ date?She asked herself. _Of course, it is. You two haven’t gone out for drinks at a restaurant like this. Why didn’t you see he was asking you out?_ She wouldn’t have worn her work clothes out on a date though he said he didn’t mind the way she looked.

Draco continued to smirk at her when Charlie brought the two boxes and then check. He asked if there was anything else he could do for them. Draco said no, and paid for the bill before escorting her outside. He took her back to St. Mungo’s, and to Harry’s room. “Visiting hours are nearly over, but I can talk to security to let you stay if you wish,” he offered, his arm around her shoulders for comfort.

Hermione smiled up at him. She wanted to stay. “I should go home and sleep, right?”

Draco nodded. “Yes, you should. There’s nothing you can do for him here. Potter will be here in the morning, and you’ll be alerted if there’s any change. He’s a survivor. He won’t be done in by some dumb spell by Dennis Creevey.”

Hermione nodded, leaning into him a bit. “I know. You’re right.” She walked over, giving Harry a kiss on the cheek. After that, Draco offered to take her home. She agreed, and before long, they were standing outside the door to her and Harry’s apartment. “This is me. I had a wonderful time tonight. I would have dressed nicer if I would have known ahead of time -”

Draco cut her off with a soft kiss on her lips. The kiss was brief, but it wiped all thoughts from her mind. She melted into him, and when he pulled away, she didn’t want him to stop. “I told you. I have no problem with what you’re wearing.”

A blush crossed her cheeks again. “Yes, you mentioned that.”

“You didn’t realize I had asked you on a date, did you?”

Her blush deepened, and she averted her gaze. “No, sorry. I was distracted.”

“Yes, I know,” Draco said, waving off her comment. “Would you have turned me down?”

Hermione shook her head. “No, I would have said yes.” She knew that. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she should have said yes if it had occurred to her he was asking her out a date. She had wanted him to, without really admitted it to herself.

“Of course, you would have,” Draco said, and Hermione knew that there was no doubt in his mind about that. With that, he leaned down and kissed her again, slipping his hand around her waist, and deepening the kiss from their first one. Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck, but again, the kiss ended too quickly. “I will see you tomorrow.”

Hermione nodded. “Yes, you will,” she said. “You know, your parents will hate this.”

“I’m aware,” Draco said. “What are they going to do? Disown me?” He scoffed. “And give the money to whom?” Hermione gave a light laugh. She knew he was right about that. “Goodnight, Hermione.”

“Goodnight, Draco,” she said as she went into the flat, a smile on her face. As worried as she still was about Harry, she had a good feeling about her and Draco. Dealing with his parents would be a project, but… somehow, she had a feeling it would be worth it. If only Harry would wake up soon…

~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione woke up the next morning, her good mood from her first date with Draco having worn off. She ate something quickly and headed back to the hospital. There had been no change overnight. Harry was still breathing on his own, his heartbeat was becoming more regular, but he was still unconscious. Ron arrived and said he’d wait with Harry. It made her feel better knowing that one of his friends were there. He told her that Dean and Seamus had showed up yesterday, as did Hannah. Neville couldn’t get away from school but sent his best.

Hermione went to work, throwing herself into it before lunch came. She didn’t bother with eating. It had been three days since Harry had lost consciousness. When was he going to wake up? She let Ron have a break to get some food and took his spot next to Harry. He came back a short time later, and the two just sat there for a few minutes until a familiar voice came from the doorway.

“Have you eaten today, Hermione?” Draco asked her.

Hermione turned back to him and smiled. “I ate this morning,” she told him.

“Yes, but have you eaten lunch?”

Hermione got up to him, and he put his arms around her, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. “Nice to see you, too,” she said, “and no, I haven’t. I was going to just -”

“Not eat at all today,” Draco said, finishing her sentence for her. “I can’t take you out again tonight because I have to work late today.”

She gave him a light slap on his arm. “I don’t expect you to do that, you know,” she told him. “It’s just…” She looked back at Harry’s unconscious form, catching a glimpse of Ron, who was glaring right at them. She ignored him and turned back to Draco as he began to speak again.

“Potter will be fine,” he told her. “You need to take care of yourself, too.” She nodded. “I have to get back to work.” He gave her another kiss. “I’ll talk to you later. Go eat something.”

Hermione gave a sigh as he walked off. She knew it was right, but it was so hard to think about herself at all when Harry was… She turned back around, and the look on Ron’s face was one of fury. She crossed her arms over her chest, just waiting for him to say what was on his mind - not that she needed him to, of course. She could read him like an open book.

“You - and _him?”_ He was practically seething, almost acting as if she was cheating him on him when they had been broken up for months now. “Are you that desperate? When your  _best friend_ is lying in the hospital, unconscious?”

Hermione walked over to him and slapped him across the face. “How dare you?” she said. “You should know me better than that. He and I have gotten close over the past few months, and yes, we went out on a date last night but _not_ because I was desperate you bloody arse. He’s charismatic, nice… in his own way. He challenges me. I like being around him. He was getting me to eat because I hadn’t eaten all day. We are _not_ getting back together, and I’m sorry if you’ve been waiting for that these past few months, but I moved on. You should, too.” With that, Hermione turned and left, leaving Ron to stew.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry blinked, slowly opening up his eyes. He felt a bit groggy. Groaning, he looked around. The lights were bright, and he shielded his eyes. _Where am I?_ he thought to himself. His memory felt a bit fuzzy. He felt like he had slept for a week. In what seemed like an instant, he was suddenly surrounded by Healers in their white robes. It took him a moment before he could concentrate enough to notice that one of them - a man - was speaking to him.

“Mr. Potter, I am Healer Brown, can you hear me?” said the man.

Harry nodded. “Yeah, what… what happened?”

“You were attacked in Diagon Alley four days ago,” he explained, his wand waving up and down Harry’s body. “Do you remember?”

Slowly, the memories of that morning started coming back to him. He had gotten his results back from his Healer’s Entrance Exam, and had passed. He’d been happy and wanted to tell Severus about it, but he had run into Dennis Creevey. He nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

Healer Brown nodded. “Good to hear,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” Harry responded. He tried to move, and suddenly, a strong hand pushed him back down on the bed, gently.

“I would be surprised if you didn’t, now stay still, Mr. Potter, as I finish my spells,” he said. After a few moments, he put his wand back his robes and the room emptied except for them. “Your status is not good, I’m afraid. The previous spell you were hit with has done a lot of damage, damage which the spell Mr. Creevey hit you with seems to have made worse. Before you ask, your friend, Ms. Granger, told me what happened. She thought that we might accidentally kill you if we didn’t know.”

“How bad is it?” Harry asked.

“I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not good,” Brown said. “The damage has spread from just your heart and lungs to your entire body. You are going to be very weak for quite a while. It’s not going to be easy to get back to where you were.”

“When can I go home?” Harry said. “I can recover there.”

Brown shook his head. “I don’t think so,” he said. “If your condition doesn’t worsen in a few days, _maybe_ I’ll release you under someone else’s care. Not until then. For the meantime, you are not going anywhere. I’ll get a set of potions brought down, and yes, I was told, Mr. Potter, so no, there will not be any sleeping potions - potions for pain, calming draughts, the potion for your chest, and the like. Get some rest, and I’ll have some reading material brought in.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry spent the next few hours reading and eating. He hadn’t touched the potions. Hermione came in around lunch. His bushy-haired friend came over and gave him a hug. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re awake, you just can’t imagine,” she said, tears of happiness streaming down her face. “What did Healer Brown say?” Harry told her what Healer Brown had said, and she gasped. “How long do you think you’ll be put on bed rest when they let you out?” she asked.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know,” he said. It was going to be long enough. He was not looking forward to it.  “How bad was the fallout from the article?”

Hermione shook her head. “There was no article,” she said. “Lucius Malfoy stopped it.”

Harry frowned at her. That was probably the strangest thing he'd ever heard, and it made no sense at all. “Malfoy did? Why?” He had no reason to do anything like that, and most certainly not for him.

“Because Snape asked him to,” she said. Harry immediately became confused. Why would he stop the article if he didn’t want him around? That was a clear sign that he must feel _something_ or he wouldn't have bothered. “You haven’t touched your potions!”

Harry shook his head. “I don’t want any potions that aren’t made by Severus.” He knew he was being stubborn, and he was sure that the Potions Master here was very qualified, but... still, he couldn't do it.

Hermione stared at him for a second before she gasped in shock. “Harry…”

Harry was still confused, but this time by Hermione. “Yes, Hermione?”

“You’re… with Snape…”  _Oh, she figured it out,_ he thought to himself. It only made sense that she would. After all, she was Hermione.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Harry wasn’t ready to talk about it yet, especially considering Severus was refusing to even _discuss_ anything. There was no point in telling Hermione anything because the fact of the matter was, there was nothing to tell. 

“Harry…” She was giving him that look, that look that said that she knew he was lying, and she wasn’t buying it.

“Seriously,” he told her, trying to get her off the subject. “So, how is everyone? Were they really worried? Are they okay?”

Hermione sighed. “Why don’t you just admit it?”

“Admit what?” Harry figured that feigning ignorance was the better way to go. He knew that she wouldn’t believe him, but maybe it would get her to let it go. “So, how’s work?” That was about when Ron came in. Hermione excused herself, telling him to stop lying to himself. Ron was very confused, but Harry just blew off his question about what she had been talking about.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione left St. Mungo’s, but she didn’t go straight to lunch or back to work. In fact, she went back to Diagon Alley. She made her way to the back door of Snape’s shop, knowing that he’d want to know about this - regardless of whether the potions master would admit it or not. Her conversion that she had just had with Harry had made a lot of things clear for her. Snape had asked Lucius Malfoy to stop the article so Harry wouldn’t have to deal with it. Harry had been overly frustrated lately and refused to take any potions that weren’t made by Snape. They definitely had feelings for each other, at the very least.

Hermione knocked on the door, and a moment later, Snape answered, looking rather perturbed. “Ms. Granger, I’m not sure what gave you the impression that you could just drop by at a moment’s notice, but -”

“Harry woke up.”

Snape stopped mid-sentence. “What?”

“This morning. Harry woke up. He’s weak, and he’s not going to be moving around anytime soon, but he’s awake,” she said. She knew she had guessed right, or he would have just shut the door in her face.

“What gives you the impression that I care what happens to him?”  
  
Hermione just looked at him for a moment. “Just a feeling,” she said. “Also, you should know that Harry refuses to take any potions but yours.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Thought you ought to know.” Then she turned and left to get something to eat before heading back to work. She knew she was right. Harry deserved to be happy, and if Snape was what he wanted… well, that was none of her business. She had no room to talk, after all, since she was now going out with Draco. Things change.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the couple days wait!

Severus closed the door after Granger had left, his mind reeling. He had been trying to think of anything but Harry over the past few days, quite unsuccessfully if he was honest with himself. He was reasonably certain that his employees were more afraid of him now than they already had been. He had been in a rather foul mood lately, even for him. He had destroyed at least two potions over the past couple days because of Harry. It was rather annoying.

Severus put his potions in stasis and went to lunch, knowing that he would not be able to concentrate now. After lunch, he went back down and tried to work, but Granger’s words kept going through his mind. He had felt a sense of shock and relief when she said that Harry was awake. He was grateful, relieved when he shouldn’t care at all. _But you do care,_ said an annoying voice in his head. Her next words were what had shocked him the most. Why would Harry refuse to take any potions besides his own?

Severus was fairly certain that Harry didn’t know that Draco was the Potions Maker at St. Mungo’s or that might have something to do with it. _No, you know what the reason is,_ he thought to himself. After a few hours, he decided to end early for the day, and quickly finished up his potions. He started to gather the potions that Harry would need. He knew he shouldn’t bother, but he was doing it before he could stop himself.

~~~~~~~~~

Ron had left, because he had to go to work, leaving Harry alone again. There were magazines and newspapers for him to read, but it became boring after a while. How was he supposed to go through the next three days - at least - of this? He couldn’t just keep lying around the hospital doing nothing. He was going to go stir crazy. He was in the middle of reading an article in the Daily Prophet when his door opened. At first, he thought it was a Healer or part of the staff until he got a glimpse of black robes. He looked up, and there was Severus.

“Severus! You’re here!” Harry’s heart started racing, and he had to remind himself to stay calm. He took a deep breath, but it was hard to think of calming thoughts with Severus there.

“Yes, obviously,” Severus said, sitting down some potions on the side table, moving the ones that had already been there away. “Here are the potions you require. Now, if you don’t mind.” With that, Severus turned to leave.

A wave of anger rushed through Harry. So, he was going to come, drop off the potions, and leave. No fucking way. No. “I don’t fucking think so,” Harry said, as loud as he could muster. It didn’t sound nearly as loud or angry as he wanted, but it was all he could manage at the moment. “You are not going to come in and act like my fucking potions dealer, not after everything we’ve been through.”

It had stopped Severus from leaving, but he hadn’t moved closer to the bed. He turned his head back, and said simply, “I don’t know what you are trying to imply, but this just isn’t -”

“No, don’t even bother,” Harry said, holding up a hand to silence him. It had gotten Severus’s attention, at least, and the potions master had turned towards him. “What, you’re going to say all the reason as to why this is a bad idea?” Harry motioned towards both of them, to indicate that he was talking about them. “I already know them. Wait, let me see... I’m too young for you, you’re a Death Eater, and I’m the Golden Boy. You’re an insufferable git, and you think I’m an insolent brat. We’re incompatible, and you were - are - in love with my mother. Did I miss anything?”

Severus had come to sit in the chair next to his bed, and he was silent for a moment before speaking. His words surprised Harry a bit. “Why me?” he asked. “You could have literally anyone you wanted. Why me?” It was the most honest that Harry had ever seen Severus, and he was glad that he had finally gotten through to the older man.

Harry smiled at him and scooted a bit closer to the edge of the bed. “Well, for one thing, we’re only twenty years apart,” he told him, “and that will mean absolutely nothing in fifty years. Besides, I’ve had _years_ taken off my life because of the injury, so you might outlive me. Secondly, I don’t have to pretend with you. Everyone else in my life it seems I have to act like I'm okay when I’m not, but I never have to do that with you, because you understand what I’ve been through.”

Harry made his body sit up so he could be a bit closer to Severus. It protested, and he could feel pain wrack every inch of his body, but it would be worth it. “You don’t lie to me, even when the truth isn’t something I want to hear,” he continued. “For another thing, I am not your student anymore and haven’t been for years. You are no longer my teacher.” Harry looked at Severus for a moment before continuing. “And you don’t have to be lonely and miserable anymore. You’ve paid your dues.” Harry paused for a moment again after that, and a smirk crossed his lips. “At the very least, I know you want me, even if I won’t be able to act on that for quite some time.”

Harry just stayed there for a bit, knowing that his strength was giving out second by second, and he’d need to lay back down. He shouldn’t be doing this in the first place. The next moment, though, Severus had tilted his head, leaned forward, and covered Harry’s lips with his own. Harry eagerly responded and kissed him back as Severus slid an arm around Harry’s waist to support him.

Severus was very intense as a person, and his kiss did not disappoint. Harry slipped his arms around Severus’s neck since that was the easiest place to put them at the moment, considering their positions. Severus had scooted off the chair slightly to get them closer, and his arm around Harry’s waist was helping to keep Harry where he wanted him to be. Severus wanted to take full control of the kiss, but Harry quickly pushed back, wanting as much of him as he could get.  His breathing was already irregular, so he felt his chest tighten and had to pull away. “I’m sorry, but I just… can’t right now,” he said.

Severus nodded. “Yes, of course,” he said, easing Harry back down into the position he’d found him in.  Harry laid heavily back down on the hospital bed as Severus sat back in his chair. He wished their first kiss wasn’t here, but such things could not be helped. He wouldn’t have traded _that_ for anything. His heart was still beating too quickly, so he took deep breaths to calm it. He desperately wanted to feel Severus’s lips against his, his arm around him and cursed his injury for making that be so difficult right now.

“I should be going anyway. I have work to do, and I only came to drop off the potions,” Severus said.

Harry reached out and grabbed one of Severus’s hands before he had a chance to move. “You don’t have to leave.” In fact, leaving was the _last_ thing that Harry wanted the older man to do. Now that he had him where he wanted him, he wanted them to spend as much time together as they could.

“Yes, I do, actually,” he said. “Your friends will be coming soon, and I should not be here when they do.”

“I’m not ashamed or anything -”

“I am aware, but you should tell them _before_ ,” Severus said.

Harry blushed. The idea had not even occurred to him. He could only imagine the look on Hermione and Ron’s faces if they came in and saw Severus here, let alone if they were holding hands or kissing at the time. It was kind of funny, but certainly not how he wanted them to find out. “Yeah, I probably should,” he told him. “You’re coming back, though, right?”

“Well, I am busy -”

“Yes, but you have to eat,” Harry said, a smirk crossing his lips. He knew not to be offended by Severus’s words. The kiss had said more than words could say about where the potions master stood. However, this was just who he was. Harry knew he’d have to deal with it.

Severus rolled his eyes at him. “I suppose I do, but your friends will be here for lunch.”

“Yes, but you can take a _late_ lunch,” Harry said, refusing to wipe the smirk off his face because he knew that he’d won this argument - if you could call it that.

Severus paused for a second before continuing. “I suppose I can,” he said. “In that case, I will see you tomorrow.” Harry hadn’t let go of the potions master’s hand, which was rough and stained, but he didn’t care. He tugged on it, and Severus leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before leaving him alone in the hospital room again. Harry sighed, and he felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione showed up after she got off of work, and immediately went about fussing - checking his pillows, making sure he had plenty to drink, had he eaten, etc. “I appreciate it, but I'm okay, you know, considering the circumstances,” he told her. She relented, and sat down in the chair; the one Severus had been sitting in earlier. He remembered the kiss and had to force himself to come back to reality. “Er, look, I need to tell you something.”

“Does it have something to do with Snape?” she asked.

Harry blinked at her. _How in the world does she know that?_ “How…?”

Hermione pointed at the vials that sat on the table by his bed, the ones that Severus had brought. “They’re not the ones that you were given yesterday,” she told him. “And besides, these have _his_ handwriting on them.” She folded her hands in her lap, and just looked at him.

A blush crossed Harry’s face. “Forgot about that,” he said. “Well, he came over today to drop those, and I sort of - I mean, that is to say, we -” How was he supposed to describe what they were now? He supposed the proper term would be ‘together,' but it wasn’t as if they had discussed anything, any particular label or status of their relationship. He supposed you could call it that, but didn’t that imply something of a more serious nature? Were they serious? Harry had no idea.

“You two decided to stop being stupid?” Hermione suggested.

Harry nodded. “Yeah, that works,” he said, smiling. He told her what had happened during their exchange earlier, his mind reeling a bit still. He wanted to tell her that it was Severus that had been stupid, but that wasn’t important. It didn’t matter now, and it was all in the past.

“Well, I will admit that it’s a bit… strange,  you know, but I can’t make judgments, considering that Draco and I are dating now,” she said as if that was the most natural response in the world.

Harry’s mind only caught the last end of it, the words ‘Draco and I are dating’. “Wait, what? You and Malfoy are?” He knew that they had been friends, but there had been nothing that she had said that indicated that she fancied him at all. She had said that they were simply friends. Then again, he had said pretty much the same thing, and that was far from true.

Hermione nodded. “Yes, we went out to dinner a couple of nights ago, and he - he _kissed_ me,” she said. “I have a good feeling about it.”

Harry smiled at her. “I’m happy for you, Hermione,” he told her.

“Ron isn’t,” Hermione said, and she told him about the reaction he’d had to finding out. “I know he’s hurt, and everything, but - he’s so frustrating.” She quickly changed the conversation, though, as it was clear that she had no desire to continue talking about Ron. She then told him that she had gone and told Severus that Harry wanted his potions, and no one else’s.

“So, I suppose I have you to thank then,” he said.

“Someone had to stop you two from being so -”

“Yes, yes, I know,” he said.

“Stop who?” Ron said. Harry hadn’t noticed him, and apparently, neither had Hermione. He hadn’t been sure to tell Ron, who was more judgemental. He didn’t really have a choice now, though, at least not one that he could think of. Therefore, Harry told Ron what had transpired between him and Severus earlier. Ron took a deep breath, and a ran a hand through his red hair. “First Hermione and Malfoy, now you and Snape…” He left it that, though, not finishing his sentence.

Hermione levelled with him a glare, before turning to Harry. “As long as this is what both of you want, and he’s good to you, it doesn’t matter.” That shut Ron up.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The next couple of days passed without incident, and by that, literally nothing happened. Harry slept in the bed, stayed in the bed when he wasn’t sleeping - other than going to the loo; he never left the bed. Even going to the loo required a  Nurse or a Healer’s assistance. _Everything_ seemed to. It was annoying. The most aggravating thing of all was that this was _not going to stop._ Hermione, Ron, even Seamus and Dean visited him. Hannah stopped by, too, with good wishes from Neville. Severus visited him, too, and though the older man mainly bitched about the incompetence of the staff there at St. Mungo’s - and his own staff - the fact that he came meant the world to Harry.

It was a few days after he woke up when Healer Brown seemed to even _consider_ letting him leave. “Please, I’m doing nothing here that I can’t do at home,” he said. Besides, he had Severus’s potions, and with Hermione’s doting, he’d be fine! Well, for the most part anyway.

Healer Brown seemed to think it over for a bit, before sighing. “Very well,” he relented. Harry grinned. “Now, I want you to understand me, Mr. Potter. You are on _strict_ bed rest. You are not to get up for _any_ reason. You shouldn’t even use the toilet or take a shower on your own. You are to stay in bed, and do _nothing._ Take your potions. That is the only way that you will fully heal.”

“For how long?” Harry asked because that sounded like a rather miserable time to him.

“At least a month,” Healer Brown said. Harry forced himself not to groan. “In a month, you will come here for a check up. After that, I will decide if your bed rest should continue or if you can go back to your normal routine. Is any part of this unclear?” Harry shook his head. No, it made perfect sense, but it was certainly not what he wanted to hear. He did not want to spend the next month or two on bed rest, especially now that he had actually _had_ Severus where he wanted him.

“Good then,” he said. “You may leave as soon as you have someone to help you get home. One last note, keep the magic to a minimum. It wastes energy that you don’t have right now. Use it only when truly necessary.”

Harry nodded. He informed Severus that he was going home, and that night, Ron and Hermione helped him. Ron helped him get to the bedroom, as Hermione transfigured the couch into a bed. This way, he wouldn’t have to be moved. Ron helped him change into something comfortable. Harry hated that he needed help at all, but he was _so_ weak. After that, Ron moved him to the couch-turned-bed. This way, he could, at least, watch the telly. It wasn’t an exciting prospect.

Hermione made them dinner, and they ate on the bed together, since there was no longer a couch. After that, they went to bed, or to be more precise, Hermione went to bed while Harry turned over on his side, and went to sleep right where he’d been all day. This was going to be a very _long_ month.

~~~~~~~~~

Over the next couple of days, Hermione and Harry got a routine down. She cooked breakfast for both of them, and then cooked lunch for him, as well. She made sure he had plenty of liquids. Everything would have a charm on it to make sure it would stay cold/hot/fresh for him. She would set it all on the coffee table, which was now next to the couch-turned-bed. Despite the fact that she already had lunch made, she would come to check on him. She would cook dinner for them both when she got home.

He wasn’t _really_ supposed to be left alone, which made using the toilet somewhat difficult. He had to hold it and wait for someone to come over because he physically _couldn’t_ get up on his own. It was annoying. Yes, Harry had plenty of television to watch, but - there was _nothing else to do._ Yeah, Hermione also set books for him so that he could read. That was basically the entirety of his life at the moment, though, and it wasn’t going to get any better. How long before he could go to work?

Harry also felt guilty for Hermione. She had to cook and clean. Luckily, neither of them were very dirty people. He could use magic to put any dirty stuff in the kitchen, which he had a decent view of from his new bed. Most everyone had jobs, so he didn’t have that much company, although Molly did show up one day to make sure he was okay. Ron would also stop by if he didn’t have to work. He hated feeling like a burden, though, and that’s all he felt like at the moment.

Severus came to visit, too. He came over every day, after lunch time when Hermione could show up at any moment. Harry could tell that he cared. It wasn’t anything that he did or said, necessarily, although he would always ask if he was okay if he needed anything… He didn’t expect the potions master to change or anything. That was ridiculous, but at least, he was a bit more open - or as open as Severus could be anyway. The man was notoriously private, and Harry understood and respected that.

One thing that royally annoyed Harry was the way it felt like Severus was keeping himself at arm’s length. Yes, he came over frequently. They ate together, and then he would leave again. Yes, they always kissed before he left. Harry appreciated the fact that Severus _obviously_ cared, but - they hadn’t gone on a real date. It was always brief time during the older man’s work days, which were long and that was it. That. Was. It. Harry wanted him to come over for dinner so they could actually spend some _time_ together, and not just in brief, quick sessions. For another thing, Harry wanted to do more than just have a brief kiss before he left. Yes, he knew their ability to do that was limited while Harry was injured. Severus, however, seemed to be almost afraid that he was going to hurt him.

It was about a week or so after he’d come back when he couldn’t take it anymore. That day, he yelled at him, nearly causing himself another attack. He’d yelled at him. “I’m not made of _fucking glass,_ Severus! I won’t break if you get too close. If I need to stop because of my chest, I’ll _fucking tell you_. Don’t treat me like I’m going to break if you do anything. We haven’t even been out on a real date!” Harry felt even worse because he had gotten Severus a nice Christmas present, a _very nice_ present. However, the potions master had relented after that.

That night, Harry had kicked Hermione out. She’d called Draco and asked him if he wanted to go out that night. Of course, he said yes. The two of them had only had brief lunches. She hadn’t seen much of him at all because she’d been too busy taking care of him. He felt very guilty, so this was as much for her as it was for himself. Unfortunately, she had to cook. Luckily, she was a decent cook. Severus had come over, and they _actually_ spent some time together - hours in fact. It was very nice not to have to worry about Severus rushing off.

They also kissed, a few times, actually, and this time, Severus didn’t worry about pushing Harry away because he was afraid that he would hurt him. Harry had to stop him, and that was all right. He was the one who was injured, but he didn’t want to be shut off from everything or everyone. He left that night, leaving Harry feeling quite good, considering the circumstances. Hermione had a good time, too, judging by the smile on her face.

As for Severus’s Christmas present - Harry almost didn’t know _what_ to get him. The man was notoriously hard to shop for. It wasn’t until Hermione happened to shove the paper over at him that he noticed an ad for the Annual International Potions Masters Symposium. He asked Hermione about it, and she explained that it was the largest potions symposium in the world - very elite, and only the best Masters got in. She had also heard that it was _very_ expensive, which was the reason for why it was so elite. This year, it was held in Venice, Italy.

Harry almost didn’t buy Severus a ticket. He knew the man would never warrant spending _that much_ money on himself, but it was something that Harry _knew_ he would love. So, he did it anyway, against his better judgement. He almost bought himself a ticket but felt that would be presumptuous. The symposium wasn’t until _July_ , right around Harry’s birthday, in fact. It was also a week and a half long. They had just managed to get together. He wasn’t going to ruin that by getting himself a ticket and inviting himself along. If Severus _asked_ him to come, that would be different.

There was no guarantee of that, though.

Hermione had gotten Draco a book about the history of potions and alchemy. She had decided to go to her parents for Christmas, so they were going to spend a quiet evening together. She had been invited to the Weasley’s of course, but considering the fact that she and Ron’s engagement had dissolved… Well, she knew that they would be a bit sore, especially since she had moved on - to Draco Malfoy, of all people. None of that meant anything good for her relationship with the Weasley’s, so she opted out this year. Harry, of course, couldn’t go, which meant he was spending Christmas alone.  After all, he wasn’t allowed to get out of bed yet.  
  
The thing was that Harry didn’t _want_ to spend Christmas alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. Real life got in the way.

Harry was watching the telly the night before Christmas Eve. He couldn’t stop thinking about spending Christmas alone, but he wasn’t supposed to be leaving the house. It was frustrating. All those years growing up at the Dursley’s, he’d been relegated to sit in his cupboard, not saying a word, during the Dursley’s yearly Christmas parties. He was also never invited to them if the Dursley’s went to one. Dudley would get to stay with his friends, but Harry had to go and stay with Mrs. Figg. On Christmas, Harry had to watch Dudley open all of his presents, and there were always too many while he got nothing. The idea of being alone on Christmas just brought back bad memories that he’d rather forget.

Hermione came by home late, a smile crossing her face. She held a couple of boxes in her arms. She leaned up against the doorway for a bit, before coming to sit next to him on the bed. “So, how was your date?” He asked.  She and Draco had their Christmas date tonight, and that just reminded him that he wouldn’t wouldn't see Severus for Christmas. He’d have to give him his present sometime. He should have given it to him when he’d been by the other day. He knew Severus wouldn’t come for Christmas. He was still trying to keep him at arm's length, despite Harry working on those walls he kept up. If Harry wanted to see him for Christmas, he’d have to go there. That wasn’t an option.

“Wonderful,” Hermione said, that smile still on her face. “You won’t believe what he got me.” She grabbed the first box, a larger one. She had set them in front of her. She opened it up and lifted out if it a large, leather bound book. “It’s a first-edition book about Arithmancy. So fascinating." She carefully set it down on the bed, and then grabbed the second book. It was much smaller, like a box that jewelry would be in. Why would he have gotten her jewelry? They had only been dating for a couple of weeks.

However, he was wrong. She opened them up and showed a pair of sparkly, diamond earrings. They were nothing fancy but were small and understated. “Very nice,” Harry said, and they were - both gifts. “Expensive.” It was true, though. They both looked expensive.

“A bit, yes, but this is Draco,” Hermione said. “That’s his style. Of course, I wish he wouldn’t have done all this for me. I said as much, but he said he wanted to. This really is his style, if you think about it. And I _do_ love them. Besides, your gift for Snape is quite expensive.” She looked at gave him that ‘You know I’m right’ look.

Harry shrugged. “Yeah, you’re right. It was expensive, and he’ll probably tell me as much when I give it to him.” _Whenever that is,_ Harry thought to himself. “It was perfect, though.”

Hermione nodded, smiling at him again. “Yes, and so are these. I’m going to put them up.” With that, she got up and grabbed her stuff. She went to her room, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Eve was the next day. Hermione left quickly after lunch, saying she’d be back after dinner. It had been a while since she’d seen her parents, and she wanted to spend some time with them. That left Harry alone. He tried to forget that it was Christmas, and everyone was with their families and loved ones while he was alone. He tried just to watch the telly, but of course, there were Christmas shows on. As the afternoon wore on, it began to eat at him.

Harry reached over and grabbed the potions that Severus always left there. He looked at each one until he found the two that he was looking for - energy potions. Harry was feeling better every day, but his energy level was still low. The energy potions were really only for him to use to take showers, or if he absolutely needed to get up for something while no one was available to help him. Right now, he needed them to make sure he could get to where he wanted to go. Downing a potion, Harry suddenly felt much better. He got up and got dressed, trying to make himself look as nice as possible.

Harry grabbed a bottle of white wine out of the fridge. He and Hermione had bought it, but never drank it. He also grabbed Severus’s ticket to the Symposium in July, as well as a Christmas card that he’d bought. He signed the card and then put the ticket inside, sealing the envelope. He wasn’t sure he was up to the Floo right now, and he couldn’t Apparate at the moment. He didn’t want to risk it, even with the energy potion he took, and the other in his pocket. So, he walked out and caught a cab. He gave the cab driver the directions to the corner near the Leaky Cauldron.

Harry wondered how long his energy would last as he walked into the Leaky Cauldron. He took one potion and had the other energy potion with him. He wanted to make sure that he could last for the rest of the day, and not be so worn out that Severus had to take him home before he was ready to leave. He made his way down the street, which was pretty much deserted. The shops were closed for the holidays. The only lights around were those of the rooms on top of the shop where some people - like Severus - lived. It was towards Severus’s that Harry headed.

Harry felt nervous as he reached Severus’s back door. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous. Surely, the potions master wouldn’t turn him away. It was Christmas, for starters. Secondly, Severus obviously wanted him around they wouldn’t have been seeing each other, not to mention snogging whenever they were around each other. Yes, he had nothing to worry about. He was being nervous for no stupid reason. He reached out a hand on knocked on the door.

No answer.

Harry’s heart began to beat faster, and he knocked on the door again. This time, he could hear footsteps coming from inside. There was an angry voice, and then the door opened wide to reveal an angry Severus. The older man’s anger faded away instantly upon seeing who it was, replaced by one of brief shock before going back to his mask of indifference.

“Harry, what in Merlin’s name are you doing here?” Severus asked him.

“It’s Christmas, of course,” Harry said. “We were both alone, and no one should spend Christmas alone. I wanted to spend it with you.”

“You should have Flooed me,” Severus said, as he grabbed his arm and dragged him inside, shutting the door behind him.

“I was afraid that you would try and keep me at home, and you here,” Harry said honestly. He simply couldn’t spend another Christmas alone, not when he had spent so many alone as it was. At least Severus had let him inside; that was something anyway. He held up the bottle of wine, keeping the Christmas card with Severus’s ticket in it in his other hand. “No one should spend Christmas alone. Unless you don’t want me here, and then I can leave -”

Severus didn’t hesitate, reaching out and grabbing Harry’s arm to stop him from moving towards the door. “Nonsense,” he said. “You’re here. I will not have you going back now. Besides, your presence is appreciated.” Harry smiled, and Severus led him up the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus was thoroughly annoyed. Harry was supposed to be on _bed rest._ That typically implied that one rest on a bed and didn’t move. In fact, he still had trouble doing simple tasks, and yet he and used an energy potion to come here to spend time with him. Severus knew that was the only explanation - he must have used one of the energy potions. Those were only supposed to be used for emergencies, which this did  _not_ qualify as one. Perhaps he should have gone over to spend Christmas with Harry, though. That was obviously what the young man wanted. Severus had believed it was too soon for such things, but apparently not.

Severus led Harry up the stairs and guided him to the couch. “Stay here and do not move without my assistance,” he said.

“But I took the energy potion -”

“I assumed as much, yes, but it will start wearing off any minute now,” Severus said. “It is not a particularly strong one because I gave them to you only for necessities while you are alone. And while I am grateful that you are here, you are on bed rest for a reason. Now, I was just about to start dinner, but I can easily stretch it for two people.”

Harry handed over the bottle of wine. “I thought it was nice,” Harry said. “I thought we needed something a bit nicer. It’s not terribly expensive, but I liked it the last time Hermione and I bought it. I just haven’t had a reason to drink it. I thought this was a good one.”

Severus examined the bottle. “I’m sure it will be quite satisfactory,” he said, summoning two glasses and pour them each one. “While I am making dinner.” They clinked their glasses together before they each took a sip. It wasn’t bad, though Severus had tasted better. He took the glass with him and sat at the table in the kitchen as he started cooking for two. “So, where is Ms. Granger?”

“At her parents,” Harry answered from the living room. “She and Malfoy had their Christmas date last night and exchanged gifts. Usually, she would go to the Weasley’s, but since the breakup with Ron, and now that she’s moved on, well…”

Yes, Severus understood full well. Draco hadn’t told Lucius or Narcissa yet, but he had pulled him aside the last time he had been over at the Manor for dinner to tell him about his new relationship. Granger had obviously told him about his relationship with Harry, so he must have felt that he would understand. Lucius and Narcissa weren’t likely to be as understanding as he was, though. “Yes, quite understandable and wise on her part to skip those festivities,” he agreed.

“I just wasn’t up to going out, but… I just couldn’t sit around the flat anymore,” Harry said. “I should have called.”

“Do not apologize,” Severus said. “As I said before, I am grateful that you are here.” He knew Harry was smiling, though he wasn’t looking back at him. They made small talk - or what passed for small talk - as he finished dinner. Of course, Harry, the stubborn brat that he was, tried to get up on his own. “I told you not to move,” he barked.

Harry froze on the couch and sat back down. “Sorry, I just -”

“Stop apologizing for everything,” Severus told him as he crossed the kitchen and living room. He held out his hand, helping Harry up before slipping his arm around his shoulders. Harry looked up at him and smiled as they made their way into the kitchen.

They sipped on their wine throughout dinner, before making their way back to the couch. Severus sat down on the left side. Harry sat down next to him and sidled up next to him, their wine glasses on the table in front of them. Without thinking about it, Severus wrapped an arm around Harry, bringing him closer. Harry leaned his head on his shoulder. In spite of himself, he enjoyed any time he had with Harry. They sat there a bit before Severus spoke. “As it turns out, I wanted to see you anyway,” he said. “I got you something.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Harry said, looking up at him, but there was a big smile on his face.

“Yes, I am aware,” Severus said, getting up from the couch. He heard a slight sound of disappointment from Harry, but he didn’t say anything. He walked into his bedroom and got the small box. He took it in the living room and sat back down next to Harry. “Here.” He handed it to him. Harry now had an envelope in his hand and handed it to him.

“I hope you like it,” Harry said. “You’re a difficult person to shop for.” The smile had left his face, which Severus found rather odd.

Severus was not offended in the least that it seemed that Harry had gotten him a card. However, that made no sense considering his words. In fact, Harry seemed nervous. He got very still beside him, not as affectionate as he typically was when they were together. He slowly opened it and found that it was indeed a Christmas card. It was a nice card, he supposed, but he was not into such things. However, he noticed that a piece of paper had fallen out. Severus picked it up, and his eyes went wide. It was not a simple piece of paper.

This ticket entitles the holder to one entry to the

 **50th Annual International Ultimus  
** **Potions Masters Symposium  
** In **Venice, Italy** from **21st July - 31st July**

Severus stared at the ticket in shock. Harry got him a ticket to the _Ultimus_ Symposium? It was the most elite Potions Symposium in the world, and not just because of the lectures and events that took place there. It was also incredibly expensive, so only the best could afford to come. It was way too expensive for a Christmas present, but Severus couldn’t find the words to tell Harry that.

Harry was still looking at him with those beautiful eyes of his eyes, searching his face for a response. “I just couldn’t think of what to get you, and I saw an ad for it and-”

Severus turned his towards Harry and captured the young man lips with his own. This effectively shut off Harry’s ramblings and worrying. He melted into him, and Severus wrapped an arm around his waist, bringing him close to him. “It’s perfect. Thank you,” he said, breaking the kiss. A smile broke out on Harry’s face. “I have been to other conventions and symposiums, but not that one. I would have never spent the money that it costs to go on myself. While I do not think you should have spent it on me, either, I will gladly accept it.” Harry leaned forward, and kissed him. Severus fought the urge to deepen the kiss and push Harry on his back right then and there.

Severus broke the kiss again, earning a moan of disappointment from Harry. “Stop that,” he said. “I am surprised that you did not get yourself one.”

Harry hesitated for a second, almost nervous before responding. “Well, it’s seven months away, and I didn’t want to assume,” he said, his words flowing out one right after the other. “I mean, I want to come, but I didn’t want to just like assume that we would still be together, and -”

Severus cut him off again, silencing him with a kiss. “Your worrying is understandable, but not necessary,” Severus said once he had broken it. “I would like you to accompany me. If we are not together at the time, we will deal with that then.” The smile that Harry gave him could have melted ice, and the young man kissed him again. Severus truly didn’t want to stop, but it was necessary at the moment. They could not go any further. “Now, you haven’t opened yours.” The potions master wasn’t nervous because he knew Harry well enough to know that this was something he not only wanted but needed.

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry was glad that Severus had enjoyed the present. He had worried that it was too expensive. He hadn’t expected the older man to get him anything. He certainly hadn’t gotten him something expecting a gift in return. He eagerly opened up the box but froze for a moment in confusion when he saw what was inside. It was a vial. He picked it up and looked at the contents inside. “Some kind of potion?” He said, thinking out loud. He wasn’t offended or anything, and he didn’t want to seem as such. He just wanted to understand what it was he had been given exactly. As Harry took a closer look, that didn’t seem right. He had seen this before, but where?

Then it hit him.

Harry turned to Severus, a look of surprise on his face. “Memories?” Severus nodded. “Of what?”

“Your mother,” Severus replied simply, “and you. The memories are both from myself and Madam Pomfrey. I figured that you had both Black and Lupin telling you about Potter, but I doubt that they mentioned Lily very much.”

Harry just stared at him for a second, an overwhelming sense of emotion running through him. He hadn’t expected anything, but something this thoughtful… It seemed out of character. Harry leaned forward, kissing Severus again. “Thank you,” he said. “You have no idea…” Words failed him. Never in a million years would he have expected something like this, but he would treasure it. He was right, of course. They had talked about his dad more, but not his mom.

“Do you wish to see them now or -”

Harry didn’t even let him finish. “Yes. Now.” Severus nodded, and then helped Harry up. He was lead into the bedroom. The potions master sat Harry down on the bed. There was a large cabinet, with two sections - a top and a bottom. Severus opened up the bottom and revealed the Pensieve. Harry hadn’t seen one since the final battle when he’d gone with Severus’s memories after thinking the man was dead.

Severus helped Harry up again, keeping a firm arm around him as they entered the Pensieve. The first few memories were quick - they were pre-Hogwarts memories, just of Severus and Lily. It was simple things, like them hanging out while Severus scowled and Lily laughed. Lily joking around with Severus. She was so young happy. The next few memories were of Hogwarts - simple things, like studying, talking, Hogsmeade trips… It didn’t seem like much, but every memory Harry cherished. It showed so much of who his mother had been - bright, happy, carefree, caring.

The age skipped in the next memory, and Severus was not in this one. _This is after Hogwarts_ , he thought to himself, _after their argument in fifth year._ It was Madam Pomfrey’s memory then, obviously.

 _“Well, it’s obvious what your symptoms mean, Mrs. Potter,” said Madam Pomfrey to Lily. “You’re pregnant.”_ Harry wondered why they would have gone to her, but then again, that was obvious. Hadn’t he done the same thing?

_His mother smiled widely. “James will be thrilled! He’s always wanted a child.”_

The memory faded and turned into a new one.

_His mother’s belly was bigger in this one, but she still didn’t seem too far long. They talked about how she was doing. His mother complained about the pregnancy, and then Madam Pomfrey told him she was having a boy. She stopped complaining, her eyes brimming with tears as the memory faded again._

_In the next memory, she was farther along. His father was in this one, and he was holding her hand, smiling as Madam Pomfrey told her that Lily was doing quite well._

_The last memory was of his mother, holding him and feeding him, presumably a couple of days after having given birth. Madam Pomfrey was there, checking him over. She told his mother that she was doing fine, and so was the boy. Pomfrey asked about the name, and Lily told her that she and James had decided to name him Harry._

Severus pulled him out. Harry had clung to him the entire time, his strength beginning to fade. He knew there were tears in his eyes, but he didn’t care. Severus just held on to him for a moment, before asking him if he had enjoyed the memories. Harry looked up at him, turning his body towards him. He grabbed the front of the potions master’s button up shirt and pulled him down into a deep kiss. He felt Severus’s arms tighten around him as he deepened the kiss.

Harry broke the kiss after a moment, knowing he would feel that tightening his chest soon. “I loved that more than I can say,” Harry said. “I wish I was more eloquent so that I could express it properly, but I can’t. That’s the best I can do, the kiss, I mean.”

“I knew what you meant,” Severus said, a smirk crossing his lips, “and yes, I could tell quite clear how you felt.” He leaned down, giving Harry another kiss. “I should take you home, though.”

Harry leaned against Severus, both because of his failing strength and because he wanted to feel the older man’s body up against his own. “I know, but I’m not sure I’m ready to leave yet,” he said.

“You can barely stand,” Severus said. “Your warden will never forgive me if you pass out because you insisted on coming over here, and I didn’t take you home. Besides, I have immense self-control, Harry, but even _I_ have limits.”

A blush crossed Harry’s face. Yes, it was probably best that they keep things at a minimum while Harry was physically limited. “You’re right,” he said, “though Hermione is not my warden.” She was just his friend, and he didn’t really like the insinuation.

“Are you suggesting that she won’t yell at me?”

Harry froze for a second and realized that Severus was right. She probably would. “She’s still not my warden.” In a few moments, they were back at Harry’s place, Severus’s grip on his waist the only thing keeping him from falling.

Hermione jumped up from the bed since the couch was permanently transfigured while he was on bed rest. “Where have you - oh.” Her eyes flicked to Severus, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Harry, you should have left a note. I came home and was so worried.”

“Sorry, Hermione,” Harry told her. “It wasn’t planned. I just couldn’t stay here alone, so I just left.” They hadn’t finished the bottle of wine, but it was still at Severus’s.

“Okay, well, I understand that,” she said. She looked between them for a second and started making her way towards her bedroom. “I’ll leave you two be.” She shot Harry a smile as she walked past them.

Once she was gone, Harry turned so that he was facing Severus. “I had such a great time today; you just don’t… I mean, the gift was just… Thank you so much.”

“There is no need,” Severus said, leaning down and giving Harry another kiss. Harry eagerly kissed him back, but it didn’t last nearly as long as he wanted it to.

Harry was led to the bed and helped him on it. It was only then that he realized how truly tired he was. After having spent the past nearly two weeks doing nothing, he had no energy. Luckily, his chest had not hurt at all today, despite the extra activity. That was a good sign, he supposed. Harry pulled Severus down for another kiss.

Severus broke the kiss, and said, “I should go. I am certain that your warden will shoo me out.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “She’s not my warden,” he said, “just a concerned friend.”

“I will see you in a couple of days,” Severus said. “I had a good time as well.” With that, the potions master walked around the bed towards the fireplace and Flooed away. Harry couldn’t help but have a smile on his face as Hermione came back in the room.

“So, how did today go?” She asked, joining him on the bed.

Harry smiled, that smile still on his face. “I just can’t even… Hermione, he got me memories for Christmas, of my mum, from both him and Pomfrey.”

A look of shock crossed Hermione’s face. “That’s so thoughtful, incredibly thoughtful,” she said.

“It is,” he agreed. “It was amazing, and he loved the ticket to the Symposium in July. He asked me to go with him.”

“That’s great,” she said, a smile on her face. “So things are going well between you two?”

“Better than expected, actually,” Harry said. “I’m not stupid; I know that things won’t stay like this. Severus being who he is, we’re bound to have a big fight at some point. Today was perfect, though.” He couldn’t worry about all that right now. He was too elated. Today had been a _great_ Christmas.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the insanely long wait! Been very busy, and struggling with an injury that made it difficult to keep up with my stories. I didn't forget, though!

Harry had been so happy when he went to bed the night of Christmas that waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare was almost a shock. It had been one of the best Christmases that he could remember, but it hadn’t stopped the nightmares from coming. He could feel the sweat clinging to him as he sat up in bed, his body shaking. He leaned over to the bedside table and took a calming potion as he felt the tightness in his chest. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths as he felt the potion take effect. Laying back down, he curled up on his side. He allowed himself to be complacent yesterday because he felt _so good_ yesterday. That didn’t mean the nightmares would go away, that they would _ever_ go away.

That knowledge felt heavy to Harry as he laid there on his bed, trying to go back to sleep. It made him feel like he was falling with no floor. It was a constant reminder that he would never be truly okay. He could hope that one day he would be able to go to sleep without fear that he would wake up in a cold sweat, shaking from a nightmare. Or that he wouldn’t wake up screaming, waking up the person he was living with. Right now, that was Hermione. In the future, who knows. That was not something he was looking forward to for the rest of his life. Right now, all he could do was go by day after day and try to move on. He didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel at the moment, though.

Harry didn’t sleep well the rest of the night, spending most of it tossing and turning. It was nights like this when he missed the sleeping potions. He could never take them again. Hermione hung out with him today, and they spent most of the day watching the telly. Molly stopped by to drop off the presents. Most were for Harry, of course, but there was some for Hermione, as well. Molly was a bit distant towards Hermione but polite enough. Harry hoped that she would come around. Knowing the Weasley Matriarch the way he did, though, he assumed she had been planning the wedding in her head from the moment that Ron and Hermione had announced they were engaged. She was probably taking it just as hard as her son was that the engagement was over.

Aside from that, there was the fact that Hermione was dating Draco Malfoy. He had no idea if Molly knew about that because he didn’t know what Ron had told them. He hadn’t seen Ron much since he had been bedridden. Hermione was here so much, and he was sure that was a bit sore for Ron still. He couldn’t imagine, personally, not that he blamed Hermione for breaking up with him. He saw how happy she was with Draco since they started dating, and he couldn't begrudge her that. He knew that Ron would come around in time. It would just take some time for him to do so.

It was that night after dinner when Hermione broached an idea. “I was thinking… and you can say no if you want,” she said, “but I thought that it would be nice if we had a little get-together on New Years.”

“A get-together?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re still on bed rest, _despite_ your going over to Snape’s last night,” his bushy-haired friend said, giving him a look. “I just think that you shouldn’t have to spend it alone. You can’t go out to a party, so why not bring the party to you? We can invite all of our friends; they can bring their significant others. It wouldn’t be too many people. You can invite Snape - I mean, Severus. I’ll invite Draco.”

“Yeah, I have a feeling that he won’t want to hang around a bunch of his ex-students,” Harry said. He also wasn’t sure about Draco and Ron being in the same area for an extended period of time.

“You won’t know until you ask,” Hermione told him. “I mean, wouldn’t you want to spend the night with Severus and your friends and not here all alone?”

Harry thought about it, and the more he did, the more he liked the idea. He had never really thrown a party, and he wouldn’t be able to contribute much to the setting up of such a thing because of the restrictions he was placed under. “Sure, let’s do it,” he said. It was, after all, Hermione’s idea, and she knew that he wouldn’t be able to do much. In fact, he could see her not allowing him to help at all no matter how much he protested. If Severus was there, too, he’d be getting it from both sides.

A smile broke out on Hermione’s face. “Great! I’ll take care of everything,” she said, and when he opened his mouth to protest, she cut him off. “No, I insist. You just show up.”

“I have to,” Harry said. “I live here.” Hermione smacked him on the arm for that one.

~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the next day when Hermione went back to work that Severus showed up. It was about halfway through his visit when Harry broached the subject. “Look, I wanted to ask you something, and you can say no, but…” Severus raised an eyebrow. “Hermione and I are going to be having a New Year's Eve party here. I wanted to invite you.”

“I assume all of your friends will be there,” he said, “and therefore, you’re inviting me to a party full of my ex-students.”

Harry nodded. “You would assume right,” he said since he was one of those ex-students. Immediately, he felt like it was stupid to invite Severus. He was going to be older than everyone there, and while he didn’t care about their age difference, that was different than spending a whole night with a bunch of twenty-one-year-olds when you were forty. “I mean, you don’t have to. It’s okay, really -”

Severus silenced him with a kiss. “It’s fine,” he said. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. I will come.” A bright smile crossed Harry’s face, and he kissed Severus. He was glad that was he going to be coming, he thought to himself as Severus kissed him back.

That was about when the Floo activated behind them, and the sound of someone clearing their throat came from behind them. Harry turned to see Molly Weasley there, holding a pan of something in her hands. The shock seemed to have quickly passed. “My apologies,” she said. “I should have called ahead of time, but I figured you would need some food. I meant to drop it by yesterday, but with Christmas at The Burrow and all, it just slipped my mind. So, I made it today.”

A blush was crossing Harry’s cheeks, but it seemed like he was the only one who was embarrassed. It didn’t seem to bother Severus or Molly at all. “Really, it’s okay,” he said. “Hermione cooks…”

“And you can’t expect her to do it all with working a full-time job since you can’t help around the house at all,” Molly said. Harry was a bit surprised that she was sticking up for Hermione, all things considered. He had to admit that she had a point. “And no need to be embarrassed. I raised seven children - six of them _boys._ I’ve seen much worse than a little snogging. Now, where do you want this?” 

Harry told her as he chuckled at her earlier comment about raising kids and made her way into the kitchen. Yes, he supposed she had seen it all. When she came back, she said, “Goodbye, Harry,” as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Severus.” She nodded her head respectfully towards him, and then made her to the Floo and back home.

~~~~~~~~~

Hermione spent the next five days or so leading up to the party working and preparing. Anytime Harry would offer to help, she would turn him down. “I’ve got everything under control,” she would say. He knew that she was an overachiever, but he was more than willing to help. Anytime he said that, though, he was reminded that he should be resting, that his energy potions were for times when it was absolutely necessary that he have some energy (like showering) and not for just everyday use. He felt bad seeing her running around, and of course, being Hermione, she had to plan out everything.

Hermione talked incessantly about nothing else other than the party, as well. He had to tell her to calm down, but that didn’t work. Then again, it never had. “The party is in a few days!” she told him. She had spent the next two days inviting all their friends, even Ron. Apparently, he had asked if she was inviting Draco. At Hermione’s response (“Of course”), he set his jaw and got real quiet. Harry was curious about that, but Hermione had left after inviting him. Besides, she no longer cared what Ron thought.

Harry felt bad for not spending a lot of time with Ron lately. In fact, he hadn’t seen him since the injury. Hermione was usually always at home when she wasn’t at work, and the only time she wasn’t was when Severus was. Ron also worked, something Harry wasn’t doing. There was also the fact that he wasn’t really allowed to leave the flat. That made it hard to see Ron. They were best friends, though, and he was going to have to try to spend more time with him once he was allowed out more. Besides, he would see him at the party, which he knew Ron would be at.

Hermione’s next step was planning what food would be served, and how much of it. This shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but for Hermione, she had to make sure that everything was perfect. Any time that Harry told her to calm down, she wouldn't listen. Then again, she never did. The night before, he finally had to tell his best friend to stop. “Everything will be fine,” he told her, and he wouldn’t let her say another word. He made her sit down and get a good night’s rest.

The next day, Hermione spent decorating and organizing. Harry asked to help, and she turned him down. He took an energy potion to get ready early while she finished up last minute things. She had never hosted a party before. Even her and Ron’s engagement party had been at the Weasley’s, so it hadn’t truly been _hers._ Part of Harry wanted to remind her that it was _his_ apartment. She wasn’t a permanent resident. It was still her home for now, though, and this really was _her_ party.

Severus arrived early, and while Harry knew that the older man wasn’t pleased with being here, he could not have been happier that he was. Hermione turned on the WWN as she and Severus greeted each other pleasantly. The station was doing a special New Year's Eve segment. She had briefly considered playing Muggle music, but most of the people who were going to be here would not be used to that, with the exception of Dean and the two of them. Everyone else had been raised on the WWN and would be more comfortable with that.

“Please tell me you have some decent alcohol,” Severus said as he came over to give him a kiss. The older man had, of course, worn all black. Harry had worn a silver button-up shirt that Hermione had gotten him for his birthday last year, while Hermione herself had chosen a white knee-length dress for the night.

Harry rolled his eyes before smiling at him. “The brandy is in the kitchen.” He had made sure that there was some, knowing that Severus preferred it.

“Good,” he said. “While I may enjoy _your_ company, I am still going to need alcohol to get through the night.”

Harry just shook his head, not taking offense at the remark at all. He didn’t expect Severus to get along with his friends. He knew one day, he’d probably have to be civil to the Malfoys. He was more than willing to be civil to Draco and Narcissa, but Lucius was another story entirely. It was going to be interesting. As for the night ahead of them, he knew that Severus would be civil and not make a scene, so he wasn’t worried. If anything, it was Ron he was worried about making a scene. He knew he hadn’t been okay with Hermione dating Draco from what she had said.

Speaking of which, Draco arrived not soon after. “Ah, Severus, good to see you,” he said as he walked past the couch to Hermione. The couch had been turned back to it’s original form for the party. “At least I won’t be the only Slytherin here. Nice to see you, Potter.” He walked over to Hermione, giving her a kiss before going and getting a drink himself. They had both agreed to arrive early. Now,  the other guests would start to arrive, and the party would be in full swing soon enough.

~~~~~~~~~~

Luna was the first to arrive. Harry got up to greet her and was met with Severus’s firm on his shoulder. “You are to stay put,” he warned him.

Harry groaned and opened his mouth to protest when Hermione jumped in. “Harry, you are still on bed rest. Stay still!” He rolled his eyes. Sure, the one thing they _both_ agreed on was that.

Luna didn’t seem overly shocked to see either Severus or Draco there, despite the fact that he was sure that she hadn’t seen either him or Hermione recently enough to know about that. Maybe she just didn’t care. She greeted everyone before heading into the kitchen.

Neville and Hannah showed up next.  Harry was glad that his friend had been able to get away from Hogwarts. “Hey, Harry!” He came over, giving Harry a hug. “How are you doing?”

Harry tried to get up as Neville towards him, but Severus’s hand on his shoulder kept him firmly in place. “I’m fine,” he said. “Still on bed rest for another couple weeks, but I’m getting there.” Hannah gave him a hug as well, and Harry thought to himself that that he was glad that they both seemed so happy. He had never been close to Hannah, but she had always been nice to him. She and Neville seemed like they were very much in love, and he couldn’t be happier for them.

Talking ensued, and while Neville and Hannah seemed shocked to see both Severus and Draco there, neither had commented on it. Seamus and Dean arrived, and they both did seem genuinely shocked to see the two Slytherins there. The shock was temporary, and they were both on to the alcohol. Severus and Draco kept their glasses at least half full he noticed. Harry was not allowed to move. If he tried, Severus or Hermione was there to put him back down. He couldn’t _wait_ until he was off of bed rest.

Ginny came next. She was still dating the French Quidditch player, Jean-Claude. Ginny was visibly shocked to see him with Sev, even more so than Seamus and Dean. Harry realized that she probably didn’t know about them, and immediately felt bad. He wondered if someone should have told her about his sexuality ahead of time, but it was too late for that now. She recovered quickly enough, greeting them both before heading over to Hermione and Draco. She must have heard about them because she was not surprised to see them together. He assumed Hermione must have told her, but not mentioned his relationship with Sev.

George and Angelina arrived after that, and still, Ron had not arrived. Hannah, Ginny, and Jean-Claude and Luna were talking about Luna’s travels, while Dean and Seamus were talking to George about their honeymoon. Neville was, much to Harry’s surprise, talking to Draco and Hermione. For the moment, Harry and Severus were alone on the couch as music, talking and drinking went on around them. He realized at that moment that all four houses were represented there - Luna had been in Ravenclaw, Hannah in Hufflepuff, both Severus and Draco in Slytherin, and everyone else in Gryffindor.

At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Ron always Apparated here, so he knew exactly who it was. He stood to get up, and Severus’s hand was on his shoulder. “Stay put,” he warned him.

Harry groaned. “Can I at least get something to drink?” Harry asked, smirking at him, knowing what the answer would be.

“No, I will get that for you,” he said, getting up as Hermione answered the door.

“Ron,” Hermione said after she answered the door.

"Hermione,” he said, and Harry saw his eyes slide past hers to Draco, who was still standing with Neville. It was then that Harry saw the girl on Ron’s arm.

Ron bringing a date was not surprising. The look on the girl’s face was, however. She looked like a kid in a candy store. She looked straight at _him_ and _giggled._ The girl then proceeded to look at each person in the room like she was a tourist in a museum. He groaned and felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Harry looked back at Ron, who was shoving his way past Hermione, his date attached to his arm. He was stumbling a bit and had a slight flush to his cheeks.

 _Oh, for Merlin’s sake,_ Harry thought. _He’s fucking drunk already._ A drunk Ron was _not_ a good thing. The talking in the room died down a bit as Ron started walking around, practically dragging his date who was still ogling everybody, especially him. She had short, dark hair and a slim figure, and her hazel eyes kept looking over at him as the night went on.

Slowly, the talking continued. People started dancing. Ron and his date - who hadn’t been introduced - didn’t dance until Hermione and Draco did. Harry, of course, wasn’t allowed to move, but he watched Ron drag the girl to dance as soon as he saw Hermione and Draco start to. “I got a bad feeling,” he said to Severus. “Maybe I should say something to Ron.”

“About what? That your friend is a small minded idiot?” Severus said. “I doubt he’d listen. If you wish for me to kick him out, I’d be more than happy to do so, just say the word.”

Harry thought about it for a second but decided against it. “Not yet. He’s just being annoying, not rude…” He just hoped he wouldn’t come to regret that later.

~~~~~~~~

Severus thought to himself that if Ron Weasley left, the party wouldn't have been half bad. Yes, he still would have been the oldest person there in a room full of his ex-students. That was to be expected since he was currently _dating_ one of his ex-students. Ron Weasley, however, was being a right arse. First off, he had arrived late, and things had gone downhill from there. Harry and Hermione were both getting annoyed, but so far the idiot had done nothing more than glare at Hermione and Draco all night. His date seemed to be doing okay for herself being around all of the “famous people,” but the potions master itched for his wand to hex both her and her date on more than one occasion.

Every drink he had, though and the Weasley boy got worse. He started slurring his words and swaying. Both his siblings tried to talk to him, but he didn’t seem to care one way or the other that they were even there. He must have broken a few glasses that Hermione had to clean up, and he hadn’t said two words to his date at all. She didn’t seem that bright, but even he found it rude not even to acknowledge the girl he had brought as his date. It was obvious now that he’d done so just to annoy Hermione.

Everyone had a breaking point, though.

Harry and Hermione’s seemed to come when they heard Ron Weasley starting to yell, his voice carrying above the music and other voices in the room as he talked to his date. “Yeah, and my fucking best friends,” he said his words slurring as he spoke, swaying as he stood there, “have been brainwashed! Yeah, thas right… by _snakes_.” He said the last word like it was supposed to be whispered, though his voice only seemed to know one volume right now. Severus narrowed his eyes as the talking and dancing died down around them. “She belongs to me! ME!” He saw Draco’s eyes narrow at that, but Ron wasn’t done yet. “Fucking Death Eaters, the both of them…”

Even the girl realized that he had made a mistake because she got very still and backed away from him slightly as Hermione walked right over to Ron, her face red. She balled up her first, tears in her eyes as she punched him straight in the nose. Weasley careened back, nearly falling over as Hermione dashed off to her room.

Draco turned to him; his gray eyes narrowed dangerously. “You better not be here when I get back, Weasley,” he said, a low, icy tone to his voice, before taking off after his girlfriend.

Severus hadn’t noticed that Harry got up until he saw him walk right past him, straight towards Ron. “You bloody idiot!” he said, shoving him as Ron careened back again. “You just had to ruin everything, didn’t you?” Severus got up, immediately heading for them. “You just can’t deal with the fact that Hermione has moved on! It’s none of your bloody business who she or I date! You-”

Severus put both hands on Harry’s shoulders, noticing that he was breathing heavily. He led him back to the couch. “Take a deep breath,” he said, a list of hexes going through his mind if Harry had his first attack in months because of his moronic best friend. “Stay there.” He walked back over to the Weasley boy, angrier than he had been for quite a while. “It seems that you are still an infernal, idiotic Gryffindor since you seemed intent on ruining everyone’s night and nearly putting your best friend’s life in danger. Leave now, Weasley, or I shall make you.”

Weasley opened his mouth to say something, but even drunk decided it was not a good idea to anger Severus Snape. He made his way out, while his upset date just cowered in the corner. Lovegood went over to her as Severus made a straight line back to Harry, who was sitting still on the couch. He sat down next to him and slipped an arm around his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he said. “I felt a bit of tightness in my chest, but I calmed down. Ron just-”

“Don’t, he left,” Severus said. “Do you want a drink?” Harry nodded, and Severus left to get him one. He realized even more now how much things had changed. Aside from the fact that they had been snogging for weeks, in addition to talking, he had felt extremely protective and fearful upon seeing how upset Harry had gotten. He would certainly have hexed Weasley into next century and was disappointed that the redhead had left of his own accord. He would have very much liked to kick him out by force. Ah, well, life was full of disappointments, was it not?

The night went back to normal after that, though Ron’s date didn’t stay much longer. Hermione and Draco did come out of the bedroom once she had calmed down, and despite his distaste for public displays of affection, he did kiss Harry at midnight. After that, everyone died off. Longbottom had to head back to Hogwarts, and Abbott didn’t want to stay without him. Everyone else left slowly after that until it was just Hermione, Harry, Draco, and him. Draco took Hermione into the kitchen while Severus stayed with Harry in the living room. “I should go,” he said.

“You don’t have to,” said Harry, moving closer to him on the couch.

Severus immediately felt his blood run south, and drew his arm around him, kissing Harry deeply on the mouth. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind about what he could do to Harry right now. “Yes, I do, but I will see you soon.” Harry was in no condition to fulfill any of those fantasies yet, no matter how willing he might be. They said their goodbyes and he and Draco left soon after. As he went to bed, he thought that it hadn’t been completely horrible spending a night with Harry’s friends, and such things were necessary now that they were seeing each other. However, if Weasley made another scene, he knew the perfect way to deal with him. It was just a precaution that he was thinking about this, but it did help him sleep better.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! With money issues, my injury, being sick, and other fics, it was hard to keep up. I hope it was worth the wait!

Harry had almost hoped when he woke up the next morning that he had imagined Ron’s behaviour. That it wasn't true. Hermione didn’t talk about it, and he wasn’t about to bring it up. Part of him thought that Ron would come by and apologize, but days passed, and there was no sign of him. Harry shrugged it off and then went to concentrating on the next thing happening his life - Sev’s birthday. He wracked his brain but had no idea what to get him. He had gotten something rather special and personal for Christmas, and that had only been a couple of weeks ago.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Hermione told him. “You don’t have to get him anything, you know.”

That was when it hit him. He knew exactly what to do. When Severus came over the next day, the first thing he asked was, “When is your birthday _exactly?_ I know it’s coming up really soon, I just don’t know exactly when.”

Severus was silent for a moment before finally responding, “Wednesday.”

That soon? He wished that Severus would have mentioned it earlier. That was fine, though. For what Harry had in mind, it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t need a bunch of extra time to prepare anyway. “I want to do something for you for your birthday.”

“That is not necessary,” he replied curtly. “I do not think that my birthday is anything to celebrate.” Harry sighed. He should have known that this was going to happen. It would figure that he was the kind of person who didn’t want to celebrate his birthday. “If I remember correctly, _you_ did not want to celebrate yours either.”

Harry nodded. It wasn’t surprising that he had brought that up, either.  “Yes, but I am not going to throw a party for you and invite a bunch of people over. That was not what I had in mind,” he said. “I was thinking a private dinner, just the two of us. I want to cook for you.”

Severus hesitated for a second before responding. “I suppose that would be satisfactory,” he agreed. “And you would insist regardless.”

Harry smiled. “Yes, I would, because I happen to think that your birth is something to celebrate,” he said, pressing a kiss to his lips. The kiss lingered for a moment before Harry broke it. “So, what is your favorite food?”

“I like many different kinds of foods,” Severus responded.

Harry rolled his eyes. That was a typical Severus response. It was obvious to him that he was playing this off to make it seem like he didn’t care. He was sure that the older man cared a bit more than he let on. “Yes, but if you had to choose?”

“I suppose if I had to choose one type of food, I would say pasta.”

“What kind?”

“Fettuccine.”

“Chicken? Beef? Salmon?”

“I am not particular,” he said, “but I would say chicken or salmon.”

Harry nodded, and he had the perfect dish in mind. He would have to double-check the recipe. He knew something that he thought Severus would like. It was important to him that this night went well. He knew it might not mean anything to Severus - or at least he acted like he didn’t care - but it meant something to Harry. This would also a be way for Harry to pay him back for allowing him to hide out here after his birthday party. After all, they hadn’t been together then so Severus could have kicked him out.

~~~~~~~~~

A couple of days later, the Floo went off. Harry turned around and saw a familiar red-head standing there. “What do you want?”

“Look, can we talk?” Ron asked him.

Harry turned around, facing back towards the telly and away from Ron. “I think you said everything you needed to at the party.” The memory was still rather fresh in his mind. He put a hand up to his chest, remembering getting an attack that night.

Ron walked around to the side of the bed. “I deserve that,” he said. “I want to apologize.”

“For what?” Harry said, turning to Ron with a glare. “For making a right arse of yourself at the party? Inviting that vapid twit, then ignoring her all night and leaving her here? For being so wrapped up in your anger over your breakup with Hermione that you haven’t come and seen me _once_ since I’ve been on bedrest?” He turned back towards the telly, still fuming.

Ron just stood there, looking sheepish. “I deserve that, too,” he said. “I let this whole thing go to my head. I was so obsessed with the fact that she dumped me that I forgot about everything else. I just… I just wanted to make her jealous, but I got so drunk and…” He shook his head. “That’s no excuse, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for getting drunk, ruining the party, for what I said, and for not coming to see you.”

Harry slowly turned and looked up at him. “I guess you’re forgiven,” he said, wondering why he always had to be the one to forgive Ron for something. They had too much history to just do away with everything, though, and Ron did seem sincerely sorry.

At that moment, the Floo went off again. Harry turned around to see Severus standing there. He smiled at him, but the older man’s eyes went straight to Ron. “Weasley, I thought I made it quite clear -”

Ron held up his hands in mock surrender. “I just came to apologize to Harry, and I will make sure to apologize to Hermione, too.” He looked between them as Severus was still leveling Ron with a furious glare. Ron looked back at Harry. “Your boyfriend is a bit protective of you.”

Harry looked back at Severus and smiled. “Yes, he is.” Especially considering the fact that Harry had an attack because he had gotten so upset at Ron last week. He knew that Severus remembered that just as keenly as he did. He also knew that Ron hadn’t meant to, but that didn’t excuse the fact that it happened.

“I’m going to go now. I will see you soon, Harry, I promise.” With that, Ron left.

Severus watched him carefully until he disappeared through the Floo. After he was gone, the older man walked over and took his place next to him on the bed. “You forgave him?”

Harry nodded. “Yes, he seemed truly sorry for what a jerk he’s been.”

“It always seems that way _after_ he’s already done it.”

Harry looked up at him and kissed Severus firmly on the lips. “It’ll be fine, I promise, though I do appreciate how much you care.” Severus didn’t respond to that, of course. That was fine with Harry. He knew what he had gotten into when they had started this relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus’s birthday arrived sooner than he would have anticipated. He made a comment to Hermione about going shopping for the meal he was preparing. She immediately put a stop to that. “Give me the list, and tell me what you need,” she said. “I will go get it.”

“But I -”

“Those energy potions are for emergencies,” she said. “Severus’s birthday is _not_ an emergency. You know he’d be angry if he found out you did that, and I don’t care if you’re feeling better. You’re not off of bedrest yet.”

Harry wrote down the list, and Hermione got everything on the list. He was going to make it at Severus’s place, leaving Hermione by herself for the night. He had promised Severus that he would call when he was ready, and not come over on his own. So, that’s what he did. Severus flooed him over. They made their way upstairs. “Now, go back downstairs to work.”

“You do realize that I am already aware of what the meal contains,” Severus said. “You did ask me questions about what I would prefer.”

“That’s not the point,” Harry said. “The point is that this is for your birthday. So go back downstairs. I have taken an energy potion, and I have another in case I need it. I will be fine. If something goes wrong, I will scream or call for you. Okay?”

Severus nodded and reluctantly left to go back downstairs. Harry knew that he didn’t like leaving him alone for long periods of time while they were together, especially if he was going to be moving around. However, for this instance, Harry wanted to prepare the meal alone so that when Severus came up, it would be ready. After all, it was his birthday. Any other meal and Harry wouldn’t care. Any other meal and they could get takeaway or Sev could cook. This was special. Harry wanted it to be special.

Harry took some time to familiarize himself with the kitchen, getting all the pans and utensils he would need before starting to cook. The first thing he started to make was the sauce - butter, garlic, chicken stock, making sure to get it to the right thickness. After that, he started the garlic bread that was recommended to serve with it. He cut up the bread, mixed together with butter, garlic, and parsley and spread it over the bread and then put it in the oven.

The next step was the chicken. He put salt and pepper on it and then put into a pan to cook. Once he had properly cooked it, he put it off to the side and set a warming spell on it to make sure that it stayed warm. The next step was adding the basil to the cream sauce. He then finished the garlic bread before moving onto the pasta, making sure to put spells to keep the bread fresh.

Harry knew that Severus would need to clean up, so he went to to get him. “You might want to clean up now, Sev,” he told him. “It’ll be done by the time you finish.” He made sure to cover up the food so that he couldn’t see it yet. He wanted it to be done before Sev started analyzing it. He knew he was a good cook, but this was the first time that he had ever cooked for him like this. Hermione made food most of the time, or it was something that Molly had brought over.

Once the pasta was done, he transferred it into a bowl and tossed some of the sauce in it. He cut the chicken into slices. He grabbed two plates and split the pasta and the chicken up before pouring the rest of the sauce on top. The last thing he added was the garlic bread, which he set on the side of the plate. Harry set both plates on the table, putting warming spells and charms to keep the food fresh. He tossed together a salad quickly and made a quick dressing. Tossing it together, he separated that into bowls as well, setting them next to the other plates.

Harry poured them each a glass of red wine that he had bought especially for this night. Admiring his work for a moment, he went to get Severus, who was just coming out of his bedroom, having changed out of his work robes. “Dinner’s ready.” Harry led him back into the kitchen and sat down in a chair. He watched Severus closely as the older man sat down across from him. He watched carefully as Severus ate a bite of the garlic bread and the pasta.

“This is delicious, Harry,” Severus said, looking up at him.

Harry smiled brightly. “I’m glad you like it,” he said. Harry asked about his work as they ate, which he knew that Severus would appreciate. He did not appreciate potions the way that he did, but he did appreciate the skill with which the man made them.

“Your appointment is tomorrow?” Severus asked.

Harry nodded. “Yes, it is, tomorrow morning,” he said. Tomorrow he would find out if he was off bed rest. “I’m not sure what I’ll do if he tells me I have to stay on bedrest for another month. I think I’ll go mental.”

“You’ll do it for your own good,” Severus told him. “It’s not as if the Healer is doing it to torture you. You were seriously injured and aggravated that injury. You need to take it easy if he tells you to, or your warden and I will make sure that you do.”

Harry nodded, rolling his eyes at Sev calling Hermione his warden. “Yes, I know,” he said. “It’s just hard for me. What would you do on bedrest?” Severus’s silence was all the answer that he needed. “So, how old are you?”

“That is not important,” Severus told him.

Harry chuckled. “No, it isn’t, but I’m curious,” he told him. “Wait, I can guess… Forty-one? No, this would actually be forty- _two_ , wouldn’t it?” Severus nodded. “That’s not so bad. As far as wizards go, you’re still young. Why does it bother you?”

“Can we change the subject?” Severus asked. “If my age isn’t important, then we do not need to keep discussing it.”

They had just finished eating, so Harry stood up. “Why does it bother you? You run a successful apothecary, and manage to do so anonymously...” He walked over to Severus, pushing the older man’s chair out of the way of the table. “And you have a twenty-one year old who is _very_ interested.” He straddles the man’s hips, wrapping his arms around him.

“Yes, I can tell how much you are interested,” Severus said wrapping his arms around him. Harry rocked his hips slightly to make his point, and the older man let out a groan. “But we can’t. You are still on bedrest.” Now, it was Harry’s turn to groan. “You keep insisting on testing my self-control.”

“I guess I want to see how far I _can_ test it,” Harry said.

“You are quickly reaching my limit,” Severus responded. When Harry smirked at him, Severus continued speaking. “I promise that if you are completely cleared for physical activity tomorrow, I will make sure that you pay for all of the teasing you have given me.”

Harry chuckled. “I suppose that’s fair,” he said, moving off Severus’s lap. After that, they moved into the kitchen, sipping on their wine as they talked about various subjects - Hermione’s work, her relationship with Draco, when Harry was going back to work, and anything else that they could come up with. After a while, it was time for him to go home, though, as much as Harry didn’t want this night to end.

They found themselves back in Harry’s flat. Hermione had made herself absent, it seemed, to give them some privacy when she heard the Floo. “So, did you enjoy your birthday?” Harry asked, moving closer to Sev, allowing the man’s arms to wrap around him.

“Yes, I did,” Severus said, leaning forward sealing Harry’s lips with a kiss. “It was quite enjoyable. Good food, and I would say the company was quite good, as well.”

Harry smiled at him. “I’m glad to hear that.” Severus kissed him once more, pulling Harry against him. He melted into the older man, enjoying the feel of Sev’s body up against his own as he tightened his hold on him as the taller broke the kiss. Harry had given a slight moan of disappointment before they parted ways. It may seem like something small, but to Harry, this night had been huge.

~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Harry nervously anticipated his meeting later that morning. He desperately wanted for things to go back to normal. He wanted to be able to go to work. He wanted to be healthy enough so that Severus wouldn't need to keep him at arm's length anymore. That wasn’t the only thing, either. He wanted to be able to do what he wanted when he wanted. He wanted to be able to help Hermione cook and clean on a regular basis. He wanted to be able to sleep in his _own_ bed. He wanted to be able to have Teddy overnight. He wanted to be able to take care of himself. He wanted to be able to workout again. He was tired of being on bedrest.

“Are you concerned about what the healer will say?” Hermione asked him over breakfast and coffee that morning.

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know, I mean, I feel fine, but…”

“You think there’s a chance that he’ll keep on you on bedrest to be on the safe side?”

He nodded. “You have to admit, I don’t always have the best luck.”

Hermione smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it,” she told him. “Just remember that Healer Brown is only going to do what they think is best for you.” She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Everything will work out. It usually does.”

That was easy for her to say. She wasn’t faced with another month of bed rest. A couple of hours, though, he found himself at St. Mungo's. He was waiting for Healer Brown in the examination room, nervously wringing his hands together. His worst fear was that he wasn’t well yet. Surely, he was after the past month of sitting around and doing nothing. Physically, he had felt fine lately. He had been slightly better emotionally, too, though of course, his emotions had their ups and downs, but that was only to be expected. Things would get better, though, if he was allowed to do something _besides_ lay around the house all day, every day.

A few minutes later, Healer Brown walked in. “Good morning, Mr. Potter,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Harry responded. “Please tell me I’m off bedrest.”

“Be patient,” snapped the healer as he took out his wand and began performing various spells. “How are you feeling?”

Harry didn’t think the repeat of the question was necessary, but then again, he hadn’t answered the last one properly. At least not what the healer would think was a proper answer. “Good, much better lately, not as tired or worn out.”

“Have you felt any pain in your chest? Any at all?”

Harry opened his mouth to say no until he remembered the New Year's Eve party and the pain he had felt in his chest after yelling at Ron. “Er, some about a week and a half ago,” Harry said, “but other than that, no. Nothing more than what I before the injury.”

Healer Brown made a noncommittal noise and continued doing spells for a moment before taking the wand and putting it into his robes. “Well, everything seems to be going well,” he said. “I don’t think you will heal any more than you have already. As long as you are not feeling weak or have any other symptoms, I think you will be fine.”

Harry fought to keep the smile off his face. “Does that mean I’m off of bed rest?”

Brown nodded. “Yes,” he said. “I don’t recommend you starting work until next month, but you can start going back to your normal routine and begin using magic normally again.”

Harry cleared his throat. “What about working out, and… other physical activities?” He hated asking, but he needed to do if he was healthy enough for him and Severus to get more physical. Sex wasn’t the only thing in a relationship, but having it off the table completely was not fun at all.

Healer Brown shrugged his shoulders. “I would take it easy for a bit as you start to get back to being more active again, but as long as you are feeling well, no pain or weakness, I think you will be fine,” he said. “If you feel any pain at all, stop what are you doing _immediately_ and come see me.”

Harry nodded. He had hoped that’s what he was going to say, and he could live with that. “And when am I starting work?”

“You are starting on the eleventh of next month, a Monday,” Healer Brown explained. “Meet me in my office, you will do a test to make sure that you are no longer addicted to potions of any kind, and then I will explain how things will go. Understood?”

Harry nodded. “Crystal, sir,” he said. “Thank you.” He left, smiling as he headed home. He wanted to go straight to see Sev, but he knew the man would be working now. He would see him later, and they could actually go  _out_ to eat instead of eating over at Harry’s house. The important thing was that things could finally go back to normal, and he and Sev might start having a real relationship, one that didn’t didn’t involve staying in _all the time_. Things might actually be looking up for once.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Life has been busy, and I've also been busy with another story. Here it is though!

Harry waited until he thought Severus might be ready to eat lunch and then headed over. He reached Diagon Alley and made straight for Severus’s shop. He knocked at the door, and after a brief moment, a rather irate Severus answered the door. Harry didn’t care about that because nothing could keep the smile off his face. The look on the older man’s face disappeared as soon as he saw who was the door. “I take it from the look on your face your Healer’s appointment went well,” he said. “That and the fact that if you weren’t cleared, you would have Flooed me instead of coming here yourself.”

Harry nodded. “Yes, it did go well,” he said. “Are you stopping for a bit? Can I come in?”

Severus nodded, moving aside to allow Harry to enter. “I was just about to stop for lunch.”

“Great, how about lunch? We haven’t been out since we’ve been together.” Harry looked up at him.

Severus nodded. “Let me take these robes off,” he said. “These are potion-stained.”

“Aren’t all of yours?” Severus didn’t respond to that, but it left Harry chuckling.

He came back down a few minutes later, in slacks and a shirt. “I figured it would be a Muggle place that we were going to,” Severus said.

Harry nodded. “Yes, I was thinking that one diner that we went to before,” he said. “If that’s okay with you.”

“That is perfectly acceptable,” he said, and within a few minutes, they were headed out of Diagon Alley and into the Muggle World beyond. “So, what did the Healer say?”

Harry looked up at him as they walked. “He said I was cleared.” Severus raised an eyebrow, and the younger man gave a sigh. “Okay, there _is_ more to it than that.” He hated how perceptive the potions master was sometimes. “Healer Brown doesn’t think that I’m going to heal any more than I already am. I can’t start work until next month, and when I do, they’ll have to test me to make sure that I am no longer addicted to potions of any kind. I haven’t had any since the contract between us ended, but I suppose they have to make sure one of their Healers-in-Training isn’t a Potions Addict. Anyway,” he continued before Severus started to ask any questions, “he said that I should gradually start getting more active again and doing more physical things, but as long as I’m not feeling any pain, I should be fine. If I do start feeling pain, then I should stop and go see him right away.”

Severus listened patiently and nodded while Harry talked before speaking himself. “So, while you are cleared, you still need to take it easy for a while?” He clarified.

Harry groaned. “Yes, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Severus chuckled as they reached the diner. “Yes, I am,” he said but as the conversation about sex was probably not appropriate for a public diner the conversation ended there. “At least you are off bed rest now. You should be thrilled about that.”

Harry nodded as they sat down. “I am,” he said. “It’ll be nice to be able to get my life back to normal.” They ordered waters and then looked at the menus. “It’d also be nice to go on a real date with you.”

Severus looked up from the menu. “A _real_ date? You do not call what we have been doing _dating?”_ He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, of course,” Harry said, “but we haven’t gone out together because I’ve been hurt the entire time. It’d be nice to _out_ to a _real_ restaurant like couples do.” He looked up at Severus, looking for any kind of reaction to the word “couple.” After all, they had not really discussed the nature of their relationship.

“I do not think going out means that we have not had any real dates,” he said. “For instance, I think my birthday was a real date.” No reaction came, and that made Harry glad. It hadn’t been easy for them to get together, but Severus wasn’t backing down or skirting from the conversation. That pleased him quite a bit.

Harry nodded as the waitress came back. “Yes, that’s true,” he said, before ordering a cheeseburger. Severus ordered a chicken caesar salad. “I still want to be able to go _out._ Don’t you want to?” He knew that the older man was a solitary person who preferred the comfort of his own place and potions to doing anything else. He _knew_ that, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t go _out_. “Like we’re doing now,” he emphasized.

Severus nodded. “Yes, I knew what you meant,” he said, “and I would be perfectly okay with that. How about this Saturday night? I know of a place that we could go to that I think you would like.”

Harry smiled brightly at him. “Great! It’s a date then.” He was excited, and he wondered if he _should_ be this excited. He was just so glad that he didn’t have to stay home and watch the telly. It was one thing to do that by choice; it was another when you were _told_ to do that and didn’t have a choice. It had been a long, frustrating month and while he knew he wasn’t completely out of the woods yet, he was glad to be moving forward again.

“Are you excited to be one step closer to starting work?” Severus asked. “Nervous?”

Harry nodded. “A little of both,” he said. “I can’t wait, though. I don’t feel like I’m floating around aimlessly anymore, you know? I should probably brush up a bit before I go back next month.” The thought hadn’t occurred to him, but he should probably having been doing that before. It had been a month that he had been on bed rest. “Work at the shop going well?”

“Yes, quite well, thank you,” Severus said. He talked about it for a bit as their food was delivered and they began eating. “Also, I think I may have failed to mention it, but I have started writing my own book.”

Harry looked up, a bit surprised. “The one I suggested? Really?”

Severus nodded. “Yes, it was a good idea, and also like you suggested, I will be using a pseudonym.”

Harry smiled at him. “I’m glad I could give you a good idea,” he said. It was nice to know that even before they had gotten together, Severus had still actually _listened_ to him. That meant more than words could say.

“I’m still working on the first draft. I can’t devote as much time to it as I would like, with the shop as my own work,” Severus explained. “I am sure that Hermione would be anxious to read it when I am done.” She would definitely be excited about it when he told her about it later.

After they had paid for the food, they made their way back to Diagon Alley. They reached Severus’s shop, and the older man opened the door and led Harry inside. He wrapped his arms around him, and Harry did the same before Severus leaned down and captured his lips in a kiss. He pressed himself against the older man as he returned the kiss. It didn’t last nearly as long as Harry wanted it to before Severus pulled back. “As enjoyable as that is, I do have to work. I will pick you up Saturday at six?”

Harry smiled brightly. “Yes, Saturday at six. I can’t wait.” With that, he left, allowing Severus to get back to his work as he headed out of Diagon Alley.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus pulled away from Harry, and the younger man groaned. “Such impatience,” said the potions master with a chuckle.

Harry looked up at him and rolled his eyes. “It’s not funny,” he said.

“I disagree,” Severus said. “You need to gain your strength back before we go any farther. You are already worn out.”

Harry groaned, but he knew that the older man was right. Severus had picked him up at six, and they had gone to dinner at a nice Chinese restaurant. After that, they had gone to the cinema. After that, they had just walked around London until Harry started to get worn out. Severus had taken him back home. Severus had leaned down to kiss him goodnight, and as usual, as soon as things were getting good, he pulled away. It was more annoying than anything else, but he knew that Severus was right - as usual. “I hate it that you’re always right,” he said. “Does that ever get annoying?”

Severus looked at him with a very serious expression and said, “No. It doesn’t.”

Harry just shook his head and chuckled. He was about to say something else when the door opened, and a slightly startled-looking Hermione came in. “Oh, I’m sorry if I’m interrupting something,” she said. Something looked off about her, but he couldn’t place his finger on it.

Severus shook his head. “No, I was just leaving,” he said, leaning down and giving Harry another kiss.

“Same time next week?” Harry asked.

“Of course,” Severus said, removing his arms from Harry’s waist and disappearing through the Floo.

Harry turned to Hermione, who was still standing by the door. “Are you okay?” he asked her. “What, did Draco propose to you or something?”

That seemed to snap Hermione out of her shock because she rolled her eyes. “Of course not,” she said. “It’s just…” She walked over and sat down on the couch. “He asked me to come to dinner at the Manor next weekend.”

 _Oh._ Harry understood Hermione’s shock now. He couldn’t imagine going to dinner at the Malfoy’s, especially when you knew that it would be an unpleasant night. That, and they hadn’t been dating very long, either. “What did you tell him?”

“Yes, of course,” she said. “After I told him I thought it was a bit too soon. We’ve only been dating a month, after all. And I know what his parents think of me. I’m Muggle-born. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to put it off for a while, but he said no. He’s not ashamed of us. He thinks things are going quite well, and we both are starting to care for each other. So, he thinks there’s no point in putting off what we know will be a less than perfect night, to put it mildly.”

Harry had come to sit next to her on the couch. Hermione looked over at him, wringing her hands in her lap. He put his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him. “It’ll be fine, Hermione,” he said. “Just don’t let them get to you.”

“It’s not that I care what they think,” Hermione said. “It’s just, the only other boyfriend’s parents I met were Molly and Arthur, and they already knew me. I never met Viktor’s parents, because of course, they’re in Bulgaria. He and I weren’t serious anyway.”

“But you think that you and Draco are going in that direction?”

Hermione nodded. “Yes, I do, and it’s hard to make a good first impression when they already hate you,” she said.

Harry felt bad for her because this was not a problem for him. Severus had no relatives. He knew that the potions master was close to the Malfoys and while he would probably have dinner with them at some point, it wasn’t anywhere near the same thing. “You’re a strong, independent woman, Hermione,” he said. “You can handle the likes of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. I have faith in you, and I know Draco does, too.”

Hermione straightened herself up. “You’re right,” she said. “It’ll be fine. I know they don’t like me and they never will. But that doesn’t matter because what does is matter is how Draco and I feel about each other.” She stood up and smiled down at him. “Thanks, Harry.”

“Of course,” he said. “Anytime.” He could only wait to hear how that night turned out. This was definitely going to be interesting.

~~~~~~~~~

Hermione stood in front of her full-length mirror, staring at her reflection. She was wearing long, formal black dress robes. Tonight was the night of her family dinner with her boyfriend’s parents. Normally, that wouldn’t be a big deal. It was, however, when you were a Muggle-born, and your boyfriend’s parents happened to be Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. In hindsight, she should have invited Harry to come with her. Severus was friends with the Malfoys, but it was too late for that. They had a date tonight, and she wasn’t going to ask them to change that for her.

In addition to her formal dress robes, she put her hair up in a neat bun and kept her makeup minimal. She had also paired everything with the diamond earrings that Draco had gotten her for Christmas, as they were probably the most expensive piece of jewelry that she owned. She knew that they wouldn’t like her. Her blood was enough to do that for them. That didn’t mean that she didn’t want to try and make them hate her as little as possible. She didn’t think her clothes would make a difference in that matter, but at least it was helping her piece of mind.

Taking a breath, she steeled herself to walk out into the living room when she heard a knock on the door. “Draco’s here,” Harry said from the other side of the door.

“Thanks, I’m coming,” she said, heading out.

Draco was standing there in the living room, waiting for her. “Not that you don’t always look great, but you look like you’re headed for a funeral, not dinner,” he said, taking a look at her. “Smile a little.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips.

“I’m just nervous,” she said, wringing her hands together in front of her.

“Don’t be,” Draco said. “It’s going to be a trainwreck, either way, so might as well just relax and enjoy the good food. The food is _always_ good.” He smiled at her. Hermione couldn’t help it, but despite her nervousness, she smiled back. “Relax.” He reached his hands up to her shoulders and gave them a quick massage. Hermione let out a slight moan. “Better?”

She smiled up at him. “Better,” she said. “I just… I’ve never walked into something like this. With Molly and Arthur, I already knew them, and they liked me. Now, I’m going in, and there’s nothing I can do. They will hate me. They will think that I am not good enough for you, and as long as we’re together, I have to deal with that.” It meant the world to her that he was standing by her. It was just another sign of how much he’d changed that he was willing to go against his family because he thought their relationship had potential.

Draco wrapped his arms around her, and Hermione let her herself be enveloped. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I don’t care, and neither should you.” She nodded. “Let’s go before we’re late.”

“Can’t have that now, can we?” She said sarcastically. Draco raised an eyebrow as they walked towards the Floo. She knew that she wasn’t normally a sarcastic person, but the words had come out before she could stop herself. “Too much time around Harry, I guess. He’s starting to rub off on me.”

The blond chuckled and was about to step towards the Floo when he stopped and turned back towards her. “Before we go in, you know that I would never ask you to compromise what you believe, right?” Hermione nodded, wondering what it was he was getting at. “You know that my parents have House Elves, right?”

“Of course, the Malfoy Family always has,” she said. “I assumed they replaced Dobby.”

Draco nodded. “And you realize that my parents are not pleasant people and will not treat the House Elves like you think they should be treated?"

Suddenly, it clicked to Hermione. Draco didn’t want a fight breaking out because she said something against their treatment of House Elves in their own home. “There are times and places for such things, and I realize that tonight is not one of them,” she said. “I won’t lie to them, but I won’t go out of my way to antagonize them about something I know they disagree with me on.”

Draco smiled and gave her another kiss. “Thank you,” he said. “I appreciate that. You also know that they will not treat you the way that you should be treated, either, and that does not have a reflection on our relationship.”  

Hermione smiled up at Draco. “Yes, I know,” she said. “I would never hold anything they say against you.” He gave her hand a squeeze. She knew that neither of them wanted a fight, but she wasn’t going to back down on her opinions or beliefs for his parents. She wouldn’t go out of her way to pick a fight with them over something they knew she and they disagreed on, but she was going to defend herself. Draco knew her well enough to know that.

There was no changing Lucius and Narcissa’s minds on anything, Hermione told herself. The important thing about tonight was that she cemented herself as Draco’s girlfriend and that nothing was going to change that. Nothing else mattered, not personal or political disagreements that were bound to come up between them. It may be true that she and Draco had only been dating for just over a month, but she had never quite felt like this. They needed to know that she was not going anywhere.

Within a moment, they were headed towards Malfoy Manor for what was bound to be the longest dinner of her entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione soon found herself standing in the foyer of Malfoy Manor. A nervous House Elf appeared as the two of them were dusting themselves off. “Master and Mistress are waiting for you,” it said, as she couldn’t tell whether it was male or female. She tried to remind herself that this was not the time to preach over the treatment of house elves. Draco’s parents were never going to change.

“Yes, we know, thank you,” Draco said, dismissing the House Elf with a wave of his hand. The elf popped away, as Draco put his arm around her shoulders. She smiled nervously up at him as he led her down the hall to a sitting room. In two, large high-backed chairs sat Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. As they both sat there, their eyes went straight for her, unveiled disdain in them as they looked upon her. “Mother, Father, you know Hermione Granger, my girlfriend. Hermione, you know my parents, Lucius and Narcissa.”

“Yes, of course,” said Lucius Malfoy, though neither of them got up to greet her. Draco’s arm tightened around her shoulder as he led her to a sofa. “Something to drink, Ms. Granger?”

“Oh, white wine, please,” she said, as she wrung her hands together in her lap. “Any kind is fine with me, and please, call me Hermione.”

Lucius Malfoy snapped his fingers, and the nervous house elf appeared again. “A glass of white wine for our _guest_. Now.” The elf bowed, and a moment later, appeared with a glass of wine at her elbow.

“Thank you,” she said to the elf. Damn the Malfoys if they didn’t believe in _thanking_ elves.

“So, you and Draco have been seeing each other,” said Narcissa. Her tone said that she was trying to be conversational, but Hermione could tell that she was just faking it.

“Yes, we have,” Hermione said. “For just over a month now.” She took a sip of her wine, reminding herself to sit up a little straighter. She wasn’t going to let them intimidate her or make her uncomfortable in any way. She was better than that. “By the way, you have a very nice place. This manor is wonderful.”

“Yes, thank you,” said Lucius, though he didn’t sound grateful at all. “It’s been in the family for generations. So, when did you two start to get... _acquainted.”_

Hermione looked up at Draco and wondered how much he had told them. She doubted that he had mentioned the group therapy sessions to them. She figured that wasn’t something that they would understand. That would be for him to tell his parents; it was not her place to tell them that about their son if he didn’t want them to know yet. “We ran into each other and started talking about things that happened in the past, our beliefs…. It just started out as short conversations, and then we started talking more and more. We started having drinks, and then he asked me out to dinner… the rest, as they say, is history.”

“Yes, we found that we actually get along quite well,” Draco said. “I do believe that I told you that we had been talking.”

“Of course you did, but we wanted to hear what your _girlfriend_ had to say,” Narcissa said.

Hermione did not miss the tone in Narcissa’s voice, but she didn’t shrink under their gazes. She refused to back down. She had been invited here by their son, and she needed to make sure that they knew that she was not going anywhere. She was going to cement herself as the woman in their son’s life, whether they liked it or not.

Just then, the nervous House Elf appeared again. “Dinner is ready, Master,” it said, bowing to Lucius.

“Shall we?” Lucius said, standing. The group moved into the dining room. Hermione marveled silently to herself at how three people could _live_ in a place like this. She had grown up in a nice house, but she was sure that her parent’s entire house could fit in Malfoy Malfoy many times over. It seemed like too much for her.

Once they got into the dining room and were seated, the food was served. The first course was a Caesar salad. There was brief silence before Narcissa spoke again. “Things are going well, then, I take it?” Once again, Hermione did not miss the tone in the women’s voice, as if she was looking for something to pick on.

Hermione nodded as she ate. “Yes, quite well,” she said.

“What do you do for a living, Hermione?” Lucius asked in between lulls as they were finishing their salads.

“I work at the Ministry in the Department for the Regulation and Control for Magical Creatures,” Hermione said, and she talked briefly about what did she there. “However, Draco has convinced me to change departments, so I am going to transfer to the Magical Law Enforcement Department.”

“Yes, we may not agree on everything, but she agreed with me that it was the best way to make herself heard,” Draco said, giving her a smile. Hermione smiled back at him as the main course was served. It was herb and lemon chicken with garlic potatoes and roasted vegetables. It smelled delicious, and while Hermione hated the way the Malfoy’s treated their House Elves, she had to admit the food was good. “Have I told you about what’s going on at work?” Draco started talking about the various projects that he was working on, and Hermione more than appreciated not having to deal with more questions or fake polite conversation, at least for a bit.

Hermione interjected a couple of comments but was overall silent as dinner went on with Draco monopolizing most of the conversation, that is until Lucius spoke up. “It is impolite to not let our guest talk,” the family patriarch said. “So, are you nervous about moving to a new department?”

Hermione nodded. “Yes, a bit, but overall, I’m quite excited,” she said. “I want to make a difference, and I do agree that the best way to do that is from a new position. Dinner is delicious, by the way.”

“Thank you,” said Narcissa as they finished dinner and dessert was served, a raspberry shortcake.  “Your earrings are lovely.”

“Thank you,” Hermione said. She couldn’t tell if the compliment was fake or not. It was hard to tell with Draco’s parents sometimes. “Draco bought them for me for Christmas.” She turned to him and smiled, and he smiled back at her. “Your son has excellent taste."

Narcissa looked in between her and Draco, before forcing a smile that Hermione could _tell_ was fake. “Yes, well, he was raised with very high standards,” she said, and Hermione couldn’t tell whether that was a compliment towards Draco, an insult towards her for not being raised by the same standards, or both.

“Shall we adjourn to the sitting room?” Lucius asked as dessert finished. Hermione stood up, as did everyone else, leaving no doubt that it had _not_ been a suggestion. She took her glass of wine, which she had gotten refilled once during dinner. She still had some left, so she felt that she should at least finish her glass of wine and not seem rude. Narcissa and Lucius sat in their chairs, and she sat with Draco on the sofa once more. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. His parents shared a look but didn’t say anything.

“So, what are your ambitions in your new position that you will be starting soon?” Lucius asked, a rather bored tone to his voice as if this entire conversation was beneath him.

“I want to continue moving up in the Ministry,” Hermione said, “and I feel that is another plus to switching departments, to be able to move forward as much as I can. I have no particular aspirations other than continual advancement.” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to do anything in particular, like be _Minister_ or something like that. Even if she did want to be Head of Department or Minister of Magic, she didn’t plan on telling either of _them_ that. She doubted that they would approve, and she’d rather not deal with another glance between them.

“Well, best of luck to you,” he said, though he didn’t sound as if he meant it.

Hermione took her last sip of wine. “Thank you both for a lovely evening,” she said, “but I really must be going.” She stood up, and all three Malfoy stood with her.

“Yes, it is getting rather late,” Lucius said as Hermione sat her empty wine glass on the table.

“I’ll see you to the Floo, Hermione,” Draco said. “Mother, Father, if you’ll excuse me.” He carefully led her out of the sitting room, and down the hall until they were back in the foyer. “Well, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Mother and Father seemed to be on their best behaviour.”

Hermione nodded, smiling up at him. “Yes, it was a bit… long and awkward,” she said, “but it could have been worse.” She marvelled that was them being on their best behaviour, though she’d seen them much worse so she knew that to be true. Perhaps Draco had talked to them, telling them to keep their negative opinions to themselves to avoid starting a fight, just as he had talked to her about keeping her opinions about their treatment of their House Elf to herself. There was a time and a place for everything, of course, and she needed to learn that. Especially if her relationship with Draco was to continue, she had to agree to disagree with his parents.

Draco leaned down and kissed her firmly on the lips. “Thank you for coming,” he said. “I appreciate it.”

“Thank you for talking throughout dinner, so I didn’t have to speak,” Hermione told him.

He smirked down at her. “Oh, you noticed that, did you? I do the same thing when Severus comes for dinner; he hates small talk, too,” he said. “Besides, I do _love_ talking about myself.”

Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes at him. “Well, thank you,” she said. He kissed her again, and she found her body melting into his. “I really should be going.” She smiled at him again, before stepping into the Floo and Flooing back to Harry’s flat.

As soon as she stepped through, she noticed Harry sitting by himself on the couch. She sat on the other side of the couch, and he looked over at her. “So, how was dinner with Draco’s parents?” he asked.

“A little long and awkward, but it could have been worse,” she said. “I think Draco told them to behave. The food was good, of course, and there was wine, so that was something.” Harry chuckled. “How was your date?”

“Great,” Harry said. “He just left, actually. I think he thought you would be home soon.”

“I can make myself scarce you know,” Hermione said. “We’re all adults here.”

Harry nodded. “Yes, I know, and I point that out,” he said. “I get the feeling he’s still holding back a bit with me.”

Hermione gave him a patient smile, seeing that he was a bit frustrated. “I’m sure he’s just concerned,” she said. “You were hurt pretty badly. You’re still not completely recovered. Give it time.” She knew that he wanted to be back to normal, but he wasn’t, and he needed to ease himself back into things instead of just jumping off the deep end like he usually did. Harry nodded, and Hermione went to go change. All in all, she thought tonight hadn’t gone that badly for her. She was more concerned about Harry, and she only hoped that he didn’t try to push himself too hard.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such the long wait! RL was a bitch, and I got into a new fandom. I am still here, though!

The next week went by rather quickly for Harry. The days were counting down until he could start work, and he was both nervous and excited. On the one hand, he was ready to do something with his life besides lay around the apartment and go out with Severus. Not that he didn’t _love_ being with Severus, because he did, but he needed something more in his life. However, his first day on the job was still a little ways off. For now, the only thing he could look forward to were his dates with Severus. After their first date the week before, things had been better.

The older man was still being cautious with him, but it almost seemed as if each day, they got just a bit closer. Harry knew that there was a possibility that it was just his feelings clouding his judgment on that matter, but he didn’t think so. He knew he was falling for him and probably had been for a lot longer than he had been aware of. Part of him wondered when exactly this had started, and he couldn’t point to a specific place. At some point during their contract, things had changed between them. Perhaps it was all due to them getting to know each other on a level other than the antagonistic teacher-student one they’d been in throughout Harry’s years at Hogwarts.

Things were good, though, at least as far as he was concerned. Sure, he was still dealing with getting his full strength back. The nightmares didn’t go away. Honestly, he didn’t think they ever would. He was trying to deal with it, though, and knowing that he had Severus when he woke up in the morning helped a lot. Hermione was still living with him, and when she brought up possibly moving out, he told her that he didn’t want her to. For now, he wanted her to stay where she was. It was comforting knowing she was in the next room, that he wasn’t alone. She was there if he needed her, as was Severus.

Harry’s first day of work was coming closer and closer, as well. Hermione kept telling him to study, and he would look over all his books at some point before he went back. He was never really good at learning from a book, though. It was much better for him to learn on the job. However, that didn’t mean that he planned on going in completely blindfolded so to speak. He just had to hope that the potions were out of his system. It had been months, so really there was no reason for them to be. He also wanted to get back into shape, too and had started working out again.

Harry was starting to feel a bit like a normal person again, though he was still waiting for the other shoe to fall, so to speak.

~~~~~~~~~

“You are aware, I am sure, that you are a recipe for disaster,” Severus said. Harry was over at his house. They had a night in tonight. It was in the middle of the week, and the older man had a long day. It didn’t bother Harry. As long as they were spending time together, what they did was irrelevant as far as he was concerned. He just wanted to be with him sometimes, as much as he did enjoy going out. They didn’t have to do that all the time, though, as long as they were together.

Harry just looked up at him. He was currently snuggled into Severus’s side, one arm was wrapped around the older man’s waist, and the other was curled up in between them. Severus’s arm was wrapped around him. “What do you mean?” he asked. All he had said was that he had been working out again, to get back into shape. That had not been the reaction he’d been expecting. He had been expecting… well,  honestly, he wasn’t sure, but a sarcastic comment about being a disaster had not been it.

“You know what I mean,” Severus said, looking down at him. “You are still healing, and on Healer’s orders to take it easy. Since you are getting ready to go into Healing yourself, you should know better than to push yourself.”

Harry shrugged. “I want to get back into shape,” he said simply as if that explained everything.

Severus scoffed. “You act like you have gained an inordinate amount of weight or something,” he told him. “If that were the case, I would have told you. I know you well enough by now to know that you will exercise more than what is probably necessary.”

Harry just gave a light laugh. “Trust me; I am taking it easy.” The older man raised an eyebrow. “Relatively so. I promise I’m listening to Healer Brown. He said that as long as I felt good, I could go back to my normal life.” While Severus had been showing more affection towards him lately, he still kept their physical relationship at arm’s length. It was frustrating, but he knew that he was just looking out for him. “Since I feel fine, I am continuing to go. I haven’t had an attack since New Year’s, and that was only because I got upset.”

Severus shook his head. “You are still a recipe for disaster, no matter how many excuses you make,” he said.

Harry just smiled as he snuggled closer to him. He knew that the older man was just saying this because he cared about him and didn’t want him to over do it. Harry thought he was being a bit overly cautious, but he knew it came with the territory. It was part of who Severus was, and he wouldn’t change that for anything. “Hmm, that’s why I love you.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. It was too soon for stuff like that, while this dance had started sometime during the contract, they had been dating for about a month and a half. He had no idea how Severus would react to it.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have to wait. Severus immediately stiffened once the words were out of Harry’s mouth. It caused his own body to stiffen too, as he waited for whatever Severus was going to say. However, the older man said nothing, and then slowly Severus’s body relaxed again, allowing Harry’s own body to relax. He didn’t know what to say, or if he should say anything. The rest of the night passed in silence as Severus acted like it hadn’t happened. He wasn’t sure what to think about that, whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. For now, he would take it as good because other than Severus’s body stiffening when he’d said, he hadn’t pushed him away yet because of it. Of course, he didn’t say it back, but knowing Severus, he hadn’t expected him to. He had expected him to say something, though.

Surely, Harry was just over reacting to it all, though, right? This was the first time either of them had been in this situation, and there was no reason to think that something was wrong. It was possible that Severus did not know how to react, and had simply been in shock from hearing Harry say that. He couldn't take it back, though, because damn it… He _was_ in love. He knew that. He didn’t need to hear it from Severus. He wasn’t some stupid, simpering teenager. He really should have kept his mouth shut, though.

All he could do was wait until the next they saw each other and hope things were back to normal.

~~~~~~~~~

Severus went home that night, convinced that he must have misheard. In fact, by the time he went to bed he was sure that he was right. However, those words plagued his dreams that night. He had been fine with the status of their relationship up until that point, despite the fact that he knew full well that he had fallen for the boy. Hearing that Harry loved him back sent feelings coursing through him that he hadn’t felt in a long time.  

In his dreams that night, Harry and Lily mixed together. Harry kept telling him that he loved him, and then the images would shift to Lily being dead. Towards the end of the dream, it stopped being Lily and remained Harry. He woke up in the middle of the night in a dead sweat. He never got anxious or upset about his dreams anymore. Decades of bad dreams left one feeling numb. This was different; Harry was different. His feelings for him were different.

No.

It can’t be.

That was not his life, and it never could be.

Severus was not that person. Nothing good ever came into his life without something worse following. That was part of him, but most especially _his_ life. His life had been a constant, never ending series of disappointments. He was not so foolish to think that had made all the right decisions. He knew better than that. However, it didn’t mean that this current situation would happen. What would happen if he continued to stay with Harry, allowing himself to believe that nothing bad was going to happen?

_That’s why I love you._

Fear gripped his heart. Perhaps it was time that he came to the realization that this was never going to work. They were too different, and it was… destined for failure. It was best that it ended now before either of them got hurt.

Yes, that was best for everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been quite clear that he had no idea when that would be. Used to hearing from him at least once every couple of days, he heard nothing about him until Saturday morning. That morning, Severus promptly canceled their date for that night. He said that he simply had too much work and that they would see each other soon. He didn’t sound angry or mad or anything of the sort, and yet it stood that he had never canceled plans with him since they had been together. It was possible that he was truly busy, but nonetheless, it left Harry feeling nervous.

What was he supposed to think after he told the man he loved him?

Harry tried to tell himself that there was nothing to worry about, but days passed and nothing. It was getting a bit ridiculous, and it seemed like… Well, it seemed as if Severus was purposely pushing him away. That made no sense, though, did it? Things had been great, and he had no reason to believe that just because he had opened his big, fat mouth too soon meant that things were over between them. That was nonsense, and he refused to believe it. There was a logical explanation for what happened. Since Harry was not the kind of person to just sit around and wait for that explanation to come to him, he resolved to see Severus.

The next day, around lunchtime, Harry got up and went to Diagon Alley. He made his way to the back door of Severus’s shop. This was the way he always entered if he came in, and had for months now. Knocking on the door, he expected a quick answer like usual and was quite surprised when nothing happened. He knocked again, and then one more time before an irate Severus answered the door. He expected the look to fade as soon as Severus saw who it was, and was shocked when it did not.

“Is there something you require?” Severus asked, voice cutting and cold as if they hadn’t spent the past month and a half seeing each other, holding each other, snogging… As if he hadn’t told him…

Harry forced his emotions down. He knew how Severus reacted, and he tended to react angrily to everything. “It’s just… it’s been almost a week,” Harry said. “I only heard from you when you canceled our date last Saturday. Everytime I call you refuse to answer the Floo, I just…” _I needed to see you, you stupid git,_ he thought to himself.  His heart was beating faster than it probably should be, and he forced himself to take a deep breath and calm his racing heart.

Severus’s expression didn’t change, and it sent chills through Harry’s spine. “You just what?” His voice was cold, and too much like the old potions git from school for the young man’s liking. “You thought that because of the change of status in our relationship that my life revolved around you? It does not.”

Harry once again forced himself to remain calm and tried to push himself inside. “Look, stop,” he said as Severus’s arm blocked him. “We can talk about this like civilized adults, whatever is going on cause I don’t understand. There’s nothing -”

“Yes, there is nothing, and you are correct in your assessment that you do not understand,” Severus said. “Good day, _Potter._ ” With that, the door was slammed in Harry’s face. Emotion gripped his heart as all of his worst fears were confirmed. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he turned and stalked his way back down Diagon Alley, back to the comfort of home.

~~~~~~~~~

Harry had stopped crying by the time he Apparated back home, but he didn’t speak much to Hermione that night. She pushed a little, but when he rebuffed her, she left him alone for the rest of the night. Good, that’s what he wanted. He didn’t want to talk about how he’d just had his heart broken _again_ , by the same bloody fool of a man. Why did he do this? He didn’t understand why this happened, or what Severus’s reasons were. He had gone there for an explanation and instead had gotten the door shut in his face. Why had this happened? There had to be a reason, yet he could find none that made sense. Had this really all been because Harry had said he loved him?

That night, Harry couldn’t sleep so he had left his bedroom and gone back out to the couch. He had just sat there, watching the telly. The noise must have woken up Hermione because he heard her door open. “Harry, what in Merlin's name are you still doing up?” she asked. “Do you know what time it is?”

 _I don’t care,_ he told himself, but he didn’t say that aloud. “I’m sorry to wake you,” was all he said. “I’ll turn it down.”

Hermione didn’t respond right away, though, instead coming over to sit next to him on the couch. A look of concern was on her face. “Are you alright? You’ve been acting rather odd all night.”

“Fine.” Hermione gave him that look that said ‘I’m smarter than you, don’t fucking lie to me.’ He gave a sigh. “Last week, when I was with Severus, I… I told him that I loved him.” Her eyes widened in shock. “I didn’t mean to, it just… slipped out. He was acting all concerned, you know in his own way, about me working out and pushing myself. I told him that’s what I loved about him. He acted like it never happened, and then hasn’t talked to me since.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, slipping an arm around his shoulders.

Harry fought the urge to push her away. He knew that she was only trying to help. “I just don’t understand it. I went to see him because this is a load of rubbish, and he was so… He wouldn't even let me in the door.”

Hermione rubbed his shoulder a bit before speaking. “I agree, it doesn’t make sense,” she said, “but you know how he reacts. I mean… I’ve seen you two together. He can barely keep his hands off you, and he’s very protective of you. That’s not the actions of a man who doesn’t want you in his life.”

“Then why did he do this?”

His bushy-haired friend shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “You know him better than I do. It was rather soon, maybe he’s just scared. You know that he doesn’t react to things the same way that you and I would. He’s different. You’ve gotten rather good at reading him. Why don’t you tell me.”

Harry put a hand to his chest, making sure that he was remaining in control. “I don’t know…” Something about what she said resonated with him, though. _Maybe he’s just scared…_ Could it be that easy? He had no idea, but he couldn’t think about it right now.

“Harry, if you want, just go there and stand your ground,” Hermione said. “Nothing worth fighting for is easy. You of all people know that. If you think he’s worth fighting for, then make sure he knows that and don’t give up just because he thinks you should."

Harry was too emotional to think right now. “I think I just need to sleep right now.” He said his goodnights, and then headed to bed without another word to her.

~~~~~~~~~

Harry thought a lot about what Hermione said - and a lot about Severus - over the next few days. As the weekend came nearer, he still wasn’t entirely sure what to think about it. It had hurt, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to put himself out there again if he was only going to get kicked down again. Ron asked Saturday morning if he could come over. He hadn’t seen him since he had been over to apologize about his action at the New Year’s Eve party. Wanting to be distracted, he told him yes. However, that didn’t work. All he could think about was Severus!

And Ron noticed.

“Hey, mate, what’s wrong?” Ron asked. ”I know that look. Something’s up.” Harry really didn’t want to talk about it, but he hadn’t been able to enjoy this afternoon with Ron. Hermione was with Draco. Harry just wanted his feelings to go to away for a bit, but they didn’t. Damn it… “Is it work? You’re starting in a few days, right? Nervous?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “Well, a bit,  yes, but that’s not the problem…” he said. “Severus, he and I, well…”

“What did he do?”

Harry turned his green eyes towards Ron. “What makes you think he did anything?” He hated that he couldn’t let the redhead badmouth Severus even after he had hurt him. He should, but he couldn’t. Ron didn’t seem offended or anything, though. He just raised a questioning eyebrow at Harry’s reaction. Harry let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Okay, he did.” Harry explained what had happened - him telling Severus that he loved him, Severus pushing him away, canceling their date, the constant rejection, slamming the door in his face. He even told Ron about the conversation with Hermione the other day.

Ron stayed silent, allowing Harry to talk. “Look, I’m not going to pretend that I understand why you chose him,” he said, “but you did. Did you mean it?”

Harry paused for a second before answering with one simple word. “Yes.” He couldn’t and would not deny that he was in love with him. It made sense to him. A part of him did appreciate that Ron was trying, and after what he’d done, he needed to.

“And you’re fairly certain that he at at the very least cares about you?”

“Yes.”

“Good, because I’d agree with you,” Ron said. “I remember how he reacted to me at the party. The man’s crazy about you. Hermione’s usually right about… well, everything. She’s right. Maybe you should do what we usually do and listen to her.”

Ron left not that long after that, leaving Harry to his thoughts. He couldn’t help but think about what he said. Hermione _was_ usually right. She said he should fight for him. Damn it… Why was he such a fucking coward? It wasn’t like him. He wasn’t that kind of person. He knew damn well that he and Severus had something, something _real_. He was in love with the bastard, and he knew that Severus felt the same way even if he wouldn't admit it. She had to be right. He had scared him. He remembered when they had gotten together. Severus had simply asked, “Why me?” This had to be like that.

Harry refused to let Severus give up on them because he was scared. Hell, Harry was too. He got up and headed out the door. He planned on letting that bastard know that whether he wanted to hear it or not. Maybe Severus had given up on them out of fear, but Harry would be damned if he did the same. He would make him see it if it was the last thing he did.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the higher rating and added tag. :) Can't promise either of those will be necessary for later chapters - not sure yet - but they definitely are here!

Harry almost lost his nerve a couple of times as he made his way down Diagon Alley that night, having decided to wait until he knew Severus would be done for the day before going to see him. The shops were dark now, most closed up by this time of night. Only a few stragglers remained on the dark street. He almost turned back a couple of times, but he refused. He had fucking faced Voldemort down, and goddamn it, he was a Gryffindor. He was not going to let this intimidate him. He was not going to let his health issues stop him from getting what was _his._ Severus Snape was a stubborn but so was Harry. He was not going to let him get in the way of this, not without a fight. He knew that love could be scary, but it had never occurred to him that he would get pushed away because of it.

Shaking the thoughts away, Harry took a deep breath as he reached the back door to the apothecary shop. He reached up and hesitated a second before knocking on the door. Severus would have stopped working by now. He’d be upstairs, reading in front of the fire. After a few moments, there was no noise coming from the other side of the door, so Harry knocked louder. His heart was beating rapidly inside his chest, and he told himself that it was because he was anxious, _not_ because he was having an attack. He took another deep breath to steady himself as he heard some loud footsteps coming down the stairs.

The door finally opened, and Harry was faced with an irate Severus Snape. “I thought I made it clear -” he began, but Harry cut him off.

“You did, and call me a stubborn arse, but I don’t care,” he said. _“We_ are going to talk.”

“No - “

 _“Yes,_ we are.” With that, Harry shoved past him and turned, stomping up the stairs. He heard the door slam, and angry footsteps follow him.

“Get _out_ of my house,” Severus demanded as Harry turned to face him. He looked angry, but now that his head was a bit clearer, her saw through the mask. A truly angry Severus Snape was enough to send anyone running home in fear. While the older man had a great control over his emotions, he had a breaking point. Harry had been on that end often enough to know what it looked like when he was truly angry. That was not what was facing now. Right now, Harry was being faced with the supreme acting of a former spy, but he knew him well enough that he could see that it was all an act.

“No, because you don’t really want me to leave, any more than I want to,” he said. “You’re scared, and I get that, but…”

“We are not -”

“No, you stubborn arsehole,” Harry said, cutting him off again. He needed to get this out before Severus physically threw him out again.  Next time, he might not let him back in at all. “I’m not letting you do that; I’m not letting you throw this away. I know how you feel about me.”

The older man just stared at him blankly, and Harry wondered what he was thinking. It was possible to tell sometimes because he hid his emotions so well. However, that mask only lasted about ten seconds, and then Severus seemed to snap. “Who are you to tell me what I do and do not feel, Potter?!” His eyes narrowed, and Harry could see him clenching his fists.

He would not back down, now that he was here - he was going to get Severus to see reason. It was _his_ turn to get angry now. It was infuriating to see the older man try to deny what they had, what had been going so well just because Harry had said he loved him maybe a bit too soon. “I’m not letting you throw this away before we even have a chance to truly see what this is! So, I said I love you. So, what? That’s a _fucking compliment!_ ”

They just stood there, staring at each other. The tension was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. Severus seemed to be breathing just as hard as Harry was. He wasn’t sure what made him do it later, but something snapped inside of him, and he lunged at Severus. Harry threw his arms around him, standing on his tiptoes and kissing him hard on the mouth. It only took Severus a moment to kiss him back, and another moment to take control of the kiss. The next thing Harry knew, the older man was pushing him up against the wall. Harry had never given much thought to liking being shoved around a bit, but he had to admit that he wouldn’t mind if Severus did _that_ again.

He moaned into the kiss, his hands eagerly moving over Severus’s chest, unbuttoning each of the damned buttons on the man’s robes before pushing them off his shoulders. Harry next worked on removing Severus’s button-up shirt as the older man quickly rid him of the t-shirt he had been wearing. They were both pushing at each other’s pants, dropping them to the floor as they sought to devour each other with their mouths. Severus quickly wrapped an arm around his waist, and led him to the bedroom, pushing him down on the bed. He looked eagerly up at him before Severus leaned down, covering his lips with his own once more.

In a moment, Harry felt Severus remove his boxers. He had wanted this for so long it seemed, he had no time to think about the fact that maybe this was happening a bit too quickly, a bit too soon, that maybe he wasn’t healthy enough for this yet. As Severus sat up to even the playing field so that there was no more clothing between them, all he could think about was yes, he wanted this, and damn it, he _needed_ it. Severus returned to his previous position, covering Harry’s body with his own. Harry wrapped his arms around him as they kissed, running his nails down the older man’s back.

Harry could feel Severus’s thick erection up against his own, and he rocked his hips up into him. The older man moaned into the kiss, gripping Harry’s hips tightly. He felt his lover’s rough hands move in between his legs, slowly easing them apart. He had no hesitation, letting Severus do whatever he wanted to him. The older man broke the kiss, and moved, reaching over to the bedside table. For a brief moment, he thought he was going to stop. He was quickly proven wrong when a moment later, Severus slipped a lubed finger inside of his arse.

The feeling was different, and it took Harry a moment to adjust to the feeling, but as Severus thrust the finger inside him, he moaned, rocking his hips into him. His hands were no longer on Severus’s back, instead were resting on Severus’s shoulder. He ran his hands down his chest as the man inserted a second finger inside him. He moaned again, rocking his hips again, trying to get as much of the fingers inside of him as he could. Severus quickly leaned down, sucking and nibbling on Harry’s neck as a third finger joined. He moaned even louder as he felt the fingers brush against his prostate, causing him to see stars. “Severus, _please…_ ” He heard the needy sound in his voice, and Severus took his lips off his neck.

Severus moved up, locking eyes with him. He kissed him quickly before removing his fingers from inside him. Harry moaned at the loss of the feeling inside him, though he knew that feeling wouldn’t last long. The older man moved positions again, and soon, Harry could feel the head of his cock pressing against Harry’s arse. Slowly, Severus pushed his considerable length inside him until he was fully seated. Harry moaned, digging his nails into the older man’s shoulders as Severus allowed him a moment to adjust. The pain passed quickly, and then he just needed Severus to _move._

The older man seemed to know _exactly_ what he was doing, but he soon started doing just that, thrusting long and slow within him. All Harry could do was moan beneath him, eagerly rocking his hips into every thrust. He just wanted more, and Severus seemed all too willing to give it to him. With every long, slow thrust, Harry knew that this couldn’t be the last time they did this because damn it, it just might kill him. They _needed_ to do this again because it was fucking _good_ , better than good.

With each thrust, Harry felt himself getting closer and closer. He didn’t want this to stop, but he knew it, and with one last thrust inside him, Harry called out Severus’s name. The older man groaned as he came soon after him. Now spent, Severus slipped out of him and came to lay beside. For a moment, neither of them said anything. “We have _got_ to do _that_ again.”

Severus chuckled but said nothing, and a moment later, Harry felt the bed beneath them move as he changed positions. “I shouldn’t have done that, Harry, no matter how much either of us wanted it,” he said. “You are not ready.”

“I don’t think that’s for you to say,” he responded, though he could tell by the tightness in his chest that Severus was right. He didn’t regret this, though, not for a moment. “I’m fine, see?” His heart leapt a bit at being called Harry again, thinking that maybe they might be past all the fighting and Severus’s insecurities, as much as they ever could be past it.

“Are you in any pain?”

Harry knew better than to lie to him, knowing that Severus could read him too easily for that. He reached a hand up to his chest, rubbing it lightly. “A bit, nothing bad, though,” he said, honestly.

Severus reached up, joining his hand with Harry’s. “Take a deep breath,” he said. “I can’t give you more potions for it; you have to learn to deal with this on your own.” He breathed with Severus until he slowly felt the pain in chest subside. “I should not have lost control.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” Harry said again, smiling up at him. “I wanted that; I wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, especially after what you did…” Pain shot through him, though it had nothing to do with his injury. “Look, Severus… I understand that you’re scared. I am, too. I’m fucking terrified.” Their hands were still joined together on Harry’s chest. “I know I shouldn’t have said that I loved you so soon, but I’m not afraid of it. I know I do. I _do_ love you, and I’m not stupid. I don’t expect you to say it back. I just… I need you to know and be okay with it. That doesn’t mean that you need to push me away. We’ll figure it out together.”

“You could have anyone you wanted,” Severus said. “You deserve better.”

“No, I don’t,” Harry said, though he was glad that Severus was being honest with him. If this was ever going to work, they needed, to be honest with each other. He wouldn’t let the older man ruin this. “Because there _isn’t_ anyone better. No one has been through more than you, and no one deserves to be happy more than you. And aside from all of that, _no one_ understands me the way you do. You get me, and you don’t expect more than I can give. That, all of that and more, is why I love you.”

Severus was silent for a moment, and Harry wondered briefly if he was going to push him away. The potions master leaned down, kissing him briefly before pulling away. He grabbed his wand and cast a quick cleaning spell over them before laying down beside him again. Harry took that a sign as that he was going to be allowed to stay, that they were going to work past this. He snuggled into Severus’s chest as he felt the older man wrap his arms around him, pressing a quick kiss into his hair. _Yes,_ Harry thought as he felt himself getting drowsy, _this is what I need._

Severus’s voice suddenly took Harry out of his slightly sleepy state. “Had you ever had sex before tonight?” Harry shook his head, shifting his face so that he could give the older man a small smile. “With anyone?”

He shook his head again. “No, that was my first time with anyone.”

“You and Miss Weasley didn’t…?”

“No, we weren’t really together long enough to really do anything other than snog, and we were both so young at the time.” It seemed like a lifetime ago now; he didn’t even feel like the same person, and right now, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. “Since then, I’ve had too many issues to think about being with anyone else.” He paused for a moment, before continuing. “Does it bother you that I was a virgin before tonight?”

Severus hesitated for a second before responding. “A bit, but I think it might bother me more if you had… been around, to speak.”

Harry couldn’t help but chuckle, as it seemed so like Severus to get possessive at the idea of him having been with anyone else. To be honest, it bothered Harry, too. He knew that a man Severus’s age was no virgin. “What about you?” he asked. “You’ve certainly done _that_ before.” He knew that the older man didn’t do relationships, or hadn’t before him, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t done _other_ things.

“I have,” he said, “though not as often as you would think. Let’s just say that I get what I need when I need it, and nothing more. I have never seen the need to have anything more than casual affairs, usually, on the rare occasion I was away from the school, for instance at the Symposiums during the summer when I deigned to go.” He hesitated for a second. “Does that bother _you?"_

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe a little, but I understand that you had a past before me, and that’s fine,” he said. “It’s the future that concerns me.”

Severus gently ran a hand down his back and seemed to be thinking about something. “What if this doesn’t work?”

The idea of this not working was always a possibility - they were very different people, despite all the reasons why it _did_ work. He was glad that the potions master was finally opening up to him, even if it was just brief moments. This was a huge step in the right direction as far as Harry was concerned. He shrugged his shoulders in response. “So, what if it doesn’t? Is that going to stop you from trying, when this could be something wonderful? I think you’re asking the wrong question, Sev - what if it  _does_ work? Are you going to throw this away just because you’re scared? That doesn’t sound like you.” 

The conversation ended after that, but Harry knew he had won this argument - at least for now. He snuggled back against Severus’s chest, allowing contentment to drift over him. They had no way of knowing how the future would turn out. The point was that they had to at least _try_ , because if they didn’t, then they would spend the rest of their lives wondering what if. Harry was not willing to do that, and he was starting to think he may have convinced Severus of that, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione separated from Draco, pulling back from the intense goodbye kiss she had been sharing. The two of them had spent the entire day together. They had breakfast that morning, wandered around London for a bit before having lunch, shopped that afternoon before heading to a park to walk around before doing some shopping before dinner. _She_ wasn’t much of a shopper, but her boyfriend seemed to love it. They had dinner, before walking around a bit more and then headed back to her apartment - her and Harry’s apartment.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” she asked. Hermione was reluctant to let Draco go, but with Harry inside, she didn’t want the blond to be staying for too long. She hoped that Harry was not depressed still. He had taken the breakup - if one could call it that - rather hard. She admitted that it was rather foolish of Severus, but it fit his behavior and personality rather well. She thought Harry was good for him, though, so she hoped the two managed to work things out.

“Love to,” Draco said, smiling at her and following her in.

“Harry, it’s us, we’re -” Hermione stopped mid-sentence, as she realized that her apartment was empty. It’s owner, and her roommate were not there. “Harry?” she called. Silence. “That’s strange.”

“Maybe he went out,” Draco offered, his arm still around her.

“He doesn’t go out,” she told him. “Besides, he has been depressed since Severus hasn’t been speaking to him.” Draco raised an eyebrow as the two of them sat on the couch. He pulled her close, and she wrapped her arms around him. She relayed what Harry had told her, as she had mentioned it to him yet. After all, it wasn’t her story to tell, really.

“Maybe he decided to give the Professor a piece of his mind. He’s not the type to take something lying down, after all.”

Hermione shrugged. “Maybe, I just hope he’s okay, that’s all. I worry.”

“I know you do, it’s who you are,” he said, smiling down at her again and Hermione felt her heart skip a beat. The blond leaned down, and slowly drew her into a kiss. Her lips eagerly parted for him, wanting as much of him as she could get. He pulled her closer before pulling her onto his lap. She straddled his hips as they continued devouring each other’s mouths. Her hands wrapped around his neck. Draco’s hands were on her back. One moved up to her hair, while the other slowly began to travel down her back. She felt shivers run down her spine, as she traveled a hand down her boyfriend’s chest.

Hermione wanted this, she wanted _him_ , but another part of her was almost afraid. She hesitated to stop him, though, because it felt _so good_. Slowly, she felt Draco’s hands slip underneath her shirt, traveling up her bare skin as he broke the kiss, moving his lips to her neck. The bushy-haired woman let out a moan and wanted desperately to let Draco have his way with her. “Draco, please, stop.”

The blond let out a frustrated groan on her neck, before lifting his head up. “Is everything okay?”

Hermione nodded, slipping off his lap so that she was sitting next to him again, curling into his side. She knew this must be frustrating for him, as they had very little time alone. They both worked so much, and with Harry here all the the time, and his parents at his house… She knew this wasn’t fair to him, but she knew that she had done the right thing. “I’m sorry, I’m just... “ She took a deep breath, steeling her nerves. “Ron and I rushed into the physical side of our relationship, and I just… I just want us to hold off on… _this_ for a bit longer. I just want to do this right, and I’m afraid if we rush into having sex, that we wouldn’t be. Does that make sense?”

Draco smiled down at her. “Yes, it does, Hermione,” he said. “You know that I wouldn’t rush you, of course.”

“Of course,” she said, laying her head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re not ready, and that’s fine. We’ll wait as long as you want us to.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Severus and Harry had fallen asleep at some point after that. Severus awoke in the middle of night, as was usual for him. What was not usual was the feeling of Harry’s sleeping form snuggled up against him. He wasn’t unpleasant, far from it in fact. It was just unusual, though, because he was not used to waking up with anyone. Nor had he, in his forty-two years ever woken up with anyone else. Anytime he had sex with anyone before, it was always quick and rushed. This, what he had with Harry tonight, had not been like that. Nothing with Harry had been like anything he had ever experienced before. Despite all the reasons that he had as to why this shouldn’t work, why he should end it, here he was. At the moment, ending things was the furthest thing from his mind.

Slowly disentangling himself from his young lover, he slipped out of bed. Putting on a night robe, he made his way into the living room. That was when he suddenly saw a face appear in his fireplace. “Oh, Severus,  you’re awake!” said a tired and exasperated looking Hermione Granger.

“Not an usual thing for me,” he said, “however, why are _you_ awake? And bothering me at this time of the night?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Sorry, but I was hoping Harry was there,” she told him. “I woke up to get a drink of water, and I noticed that Harry still wasn’t home. I was hoping he was there, with you.” She looked worried, and Severus made a mental note to remind him to leave her a note or something. Something had to be done if she was going to be doing this next time he spent the night. 

 _Next time,_ Severus thought to himself. So quickly, and he was already sure that he was going to have Harry here again. “Yes, he’s here.” Hermione seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “He’s sleeping right now unless you insist on having me wake him.” The tone of his voice said clearly what he thought of that idea. She was his roommate, not his warden.

“No no, of course not,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure. I was worried for a bit. Sorry to bother you so late.” She smiled at him. “I’m glad you two made up. Have a good night Severus.” She cut off the Floo call, and the fireplace was empty once more. Shaking his head, he made his way back into his bedroom. Harry was sleeping soundly on his bed. For a moment, Severus stood there, just content to watch him. Part of him still thought that this was a mistake, but as he undressed and got back into bed, he remembered something that Harry had told him. “You’re asking yourself the wrong question. What if it does work?”

Severus lay next to Harry, watching him for a bit. He was about to drift off back to sleep when Harry started to move in his sleep. Something he was dreamy about was clearly bothering him. He jerked this way and that, starting to mumble in his sleep. Suddenly, Harry seemed to awake with a start, and it was clear from the expression on his face that he was shocked, confused and in pain.

Severus reached out and put his hands on his shoulders. “Harry, stop, it’s me.” He had to repeat it a couple of times before Harry seemed to realize what was going on. Once the shock wore off, the younger man’s hand flew up to his chest, wincing in pain. Like he had last night, Severus reached up and put his hand over Harry’s. “Breathe, Harry, take a deep breath.”

It took a couple of minutes before his young lover’s breathing returned to normal. Once it had, Harry immediately seemed to want to get as close to Severus as possible. He knew better than to ask what Harry had dreamed about because he could guess. Besides, it wasn’t any of his business, nor did it matter. If he wanted to talk, that was fine. Severus, personally, had never liked talking about the bad dreams that he had from time to time. They were nothing that he wanted to repeat.

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry, holding him as tightly as possible as he felt the younger man shaking against him. Slowly, the shaking subsided, and he heard Harry’s voice say, “and this is another reason as to why I choose you.” He didn’t need an explanation for that. He doubted few others would understand how to deal with this situation. He pressed a kiss to Harry’s hair before the two of them slowly drifted back off to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the insanely long wait! I wanted to get some work done my Drarry Severitus - a much bigger project - but I am back now to this story, and updates should be coming much faster now! There's not that many chapters left now.

Harry woke up the next morning alone. At first, a sense of fear went through him that Severus had _left_ , but no, that was ridiculous because he was in _Severus’s bed_ right now. The man was an early riser; he should have known that. Taking a deep breath, he got up, getting dressed before heading out of the bedroom. He walked into the kitchen to find his lover sitting at the dining room table, fully dressed. He was ready the morning _Prophet_ and drinking a cup of coffee. He looked up as Harry walked in. “Good morning,” he said. “I did not wish to wake you up. I thought it best to let you sleep.”

He understood that Severus had to work. Harry didn’t change that.  “It’s okay,” he said. It had been a bit shocking to wake up in a strange bed alone, especially after the nightmare, but his lover knew exactly how to handle it, though. Anyone else would have asked to talk about it or asked if he was okay. Severus wasn’t like that because he understood. Harry walked over to Severus, giving him a quick kiss before going and pouring himself a cup of coffee. “Mmm, did you eat already?”

“I don’t eat much in the morning, but I have already gotten what I needed,” he said. “I did save you some sausages, though. Feel free to use them and anything else you need.” Harry smiled at him because, in Severus-speak, that was pretty much saying that he should make himself at home. “Also, you should go home.” A wave of fear and pain had washed through him before Severus continued. “Your warden called while you were sleeping last night.”

Harry’s face turned into a look of confusion. “Hermione did? Why?” Then it hit him. “Oh, I came over here without saying anything and then didn’t come home. She must have been worried.” She had been out with Draco, and it hadn’t even occurred to him to write a note to let her know where he’d be. Of course, she had probably been worried when he hadn’t come home that night. He felt like an arse for worrying her like that, especially with his recent health issues.

“Yes, she seemed to be so,” Severus said, having on briefly looked up from the paper he was reading. “At least until I confirmed that you were, indeed, here. Nonetheless, I would advise next time that you leave her a note. We cannot very well have her calling here to ask where you are every time you spend the night.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I will, and I’ll go and talk to her,” he said. He would definitely need to apologize for worrying her like that. Then he had caught what Severus had said - the _next time_ that he spent the night. A smile crossed the young man’s face. “So, there is going to be a next time?”

“Yes, and you can wipe that smirk off your face, Potter,” he said. “I would not have slept with you last night if I didn’t intend to bring you back here.” There was a pause before Severus continued speaking. “Also, I thought I saw another expression cross your face earlier. What was it that you thought when I told that you should leave?”

A light blush crossed Harry’s cheeks. “Nothing. It’s not important.”  He was glad that the bump in the road with his relationship with Severus was over. It seemed to have snapped something in the older man because he was no longer pushing him away. Now, if only his first day at his new job would start so that he could get his life back on track, everything would be as close to perfect as it was ever going to get for him - depression, nightmares, and everything else notwithstanding.

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry cooked himself breakfast and stayed until Severus headed down to his lab for work. After that, he went home, though he didn’t end up seeing Hermione until she got off of work that night. “Harry!” she said as soon as she came home. “You’re back! I wasn’t sure when you were coming back. So, you and Severus made up? That’s great! I’m happy for you!” She spoke quickly, in typical Hermione-like fashion, without letting Harry get in a word in edgewise before coming up and hugging him. “How did it happen? What did you say to get through to him?”

Harry was finally allowed to speak now as Hermione finished talking. “Er, I sort of yelled at him,” he said. “I was so frustrated that he was giving up on us because he was scared. I forced him to hear me out, and then… well, I sort of him kissed him. We had sex and then we talked. He’s stopped fighting me now, so I think that’s a good sign.” A smile crossed his face, having a feeling that this time he wouldn’t have to worry about Severus not contacting him. 

Hermione paused for a second before speaking. “Well, you’re obviously fine, and it’s good that you two made up,” she said. “You didn’t have an attack or anything last night, did you?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. He knew that she only asked because she cared, and Severus hadn’t been wrong last night when he said he might not be ready for this yet. Harry himself had wondered that briefly before he stopped caring because he wanted it so badly. “Well, I did have a little pain afterward, but nothing that bad,” he said. “Severus helped me through it, and that might have also been due to all of the anxiety before I even got there and the yelling when I did get there. And I woke up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, but it helped to have Severus there.”

Hermione smiled at him before putting a hand on his shoulder. “Well, it all worked out, and good thing he was there to help you,” she said. “I suppose sex is no different than any other exercise, and you’ve been working out fairly regularly with no discomfort. You’re probably right. It was probably just built up being anxious about going to see him, and arguing beforehand.” She rattled off the words without taking barely a breath, and Harry had to wonder if her mouth had trouble sometimes keeping up with her brain. He was glad that she agreed with him, though. That probably was why. “I’m just glad to see you smiling again.”

Harry smiled back at her. “I’m glad you agree, Hermione, and thanks,” he said. “Oh, and er… I’m sorry about not leaving a note or anything and just… not coming home, especially after everything, you must have been worried, so… I”m sorry.” He really did feel bad about that, because it wasn’t his intention to worry her. He would imagine what happened if she hadn’t come home, but she had Draco, and he hadn’t been technically seeing Severus at the time. Of course, she was not spending the night with him and certainly wasn’t going to do so in Malfoy Manor.

 

Hermione’s smile never left her face. “Don’t worry about it,” she said, “though I do appreciate the apology. Everything turned out fine, and that’s what matters. I just thought it was a bit… odd, that’s all. Now, at least I know where you’ll be.” Her smile turned into a smirk, and Harry couldn’t help it, but a light blush crossed his face. After that, the conversation turned to dinner, which Harry had already started, and Hermione’s new job in the Magical Law Enforcement Department, which she was adjusting to very well. She also talked about how things with Draco were going, which was quite well. Maybe things weren’t perfect, but for Harry, they were better, and he was more than okay with that.

~~~~~~~~~

The next day passed without incident, except for a Floo Call from Severus asking if he’d want to have lunch together the next day. Harry was more than happy to say yes. He was just glad that the older man was not pushing him away anymore, and any excuse to see him was a good one in his mind. Besides, he wanted to make up for the past week or so of not seeing each other at all. He understood that Severus worked, though, and he also understood that the man was a workaholic. That was why lunch was fine for him, and then maybe Severus would allow him to spend the night again. He had a feeling that wouldn’t be such an easy thing for him to agree to. Harry just wanted to spend more time with him, especially since he was starting work on Monday and he was quite nervous about that.

The next day, Hermione came through the Floo in a rush around lunchtime. “Hermione, what’s the matter?” he asked, seeing her look a bit frazzled.

“I forgot my money at home today,” she said. “I didn’t make myself anything this morning, so I was going just to go and grab something quick from the diner nearby, but… no money, either Muggle or Wizarding.” She gave a heavy sigh. “The bag was in my other robes, so I’m going to make something real quick before heading back to work.”

Harry just chuckled at her. Typical Hermione… “You have an hour for lunch, calm down,” he said. Severus was coming over soon, but they could stay here in the living room or go into his room, so it wasn’t as if she would be bothering them at all. “Just take your time.” She was always in a rush when it came to work-related things; for her, there were never enough hours in the day.

 

His bushy-haired friend shook her head. “No, I’m only taking a short break for lunch, I have a lot of work to do,” she said. He highly doubted it was as much as she said, and even if it was, chances are she only had more because she was putting it on herself. “I haven’t been doing this job for that long, so I have to work harder than everyone else.” She walked into the kitchen, raising her voice so that he could still hear her. “I have to make a good impression, and you don’t make your way up the ladder, so to speak, by sitting on the sidelines and only doing what is asked of you. You do it by going above what is asked, by doing more and doing it better than anyone else.”

 

Harry shrugged his shoulders, not that she could see that, of course. He had to admit that she had a point. He had never accomplished anything but sitting around and watching. It made him think about starting his own job next Monday. He was about to respond when a moment later, the Floo activated again. Turning around, he saw Severus stepping out the fireplace and dusting himself off. A bright smile crossed his face as he looked at the older man. “Severus! How was your morning?”

Severus looked up at him. “Productive,” he said, coming over and sitting next to him on the couch. He drew Harry closer to him, leaning down and covering his lips with his own. Harry eagerly melted into him, wrapping his arms around his lover as Severus slowly drew away. “How was yours?”

Harry shrugged. “Boring,” he said. “Just going through some of my Healers books so that I can try and be prepared for my first day of work.” He gestured briefly to the books sitting on the table in front of the couch before putting his arm right back where it belonged, around his lover.

“I’m sure you will be more than satisfactory,” Severus said. That was a high compliment coming from him, though Hermione had said very much the same thing the night before.

At that moment, the bushy-haired witch rushed back into the living room, stuffing a sandwich into her robes. “I thought I heard another voice,” she said. “Severus, how are you?”

Severus gave Hermione a nod. “I am fine, Hermione,” he said. “And yourself?” The exchange sounded a bit stiff and formal on both of their parts, but Harry had no room to complain at the moment. The two of them had never really had a problem with each other. It was Ron that annoyed Severus.

“Great, thank you,” she said. “I’m glad that you two made up.” She gave them both a small smile, though it dropped from her face quickly as she eyed Severus. “Hopefully there will be no more… bumps in the road.” Harry just stared at her, a bit shocked that she had done something like that - not that he didn’t appreciate her concern, of course, but… “Now, I really do need to get back to work. See you later, Harry, Severus.” She rushed over to the Floo and in a moment, she was gone.

“I can’t believe she said that,” Harry said. “I mean, I can, but…”

“She’s just concerned, I’m sure,” Severus said. “I imagine I caused you a considerable amount of pain due to my actions. I do apologize about that.”

Harry smiled up at him. “I don’t want to talk about that,” he said. “It’s in the past. We’re over it. I just want to… move forward. I have enough trouble letting go of the past as it is.” He was still plagued with nightmares from the horrors he suffered at Voldemort’s hands. “I appreciate that, though.” Besides, he understood why Severus had felt the way he had - at least on some level. He was determined to prove Severus wrong because Harry knew he deserved love just like everyone else. He was determined not to let this relationship fail, at least not without a fight.

“Did you have a bad night?” Severus asked. Harry snuggled in closer to him as if the older man’s warmth could chase away his demons. He knew that wasn’t possible, but it helped. “We don’t have to talk about it. I was just inquiring.”

“It’s fine,” Harry said. “I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a long time, but that’s normal. Even if I don’t have the nightmares, I still don’t have an easy sleep.” He laid his head against his lover. He knew that Severus wouldn’t ask, just as Harry wouldn’t ask about his nightmares, too. Hermione had always wanted to talk about it because that’s how she worked through her issues. That’s why she went to those therapy groups, the one where she and Draco had reconnected.

Everyone wasn’t like that, though. He didn’t like talking about it. Besides, Harry knew what he had nightmares about, or at the very least he could imagine. Severus had a long list of things that he had done in the name of the Greater Good, and he figured that the guilt probably would never leave. Harry wouldn’t ask, but maybe one day, he would want to tell him about that - and about the scars that littered his body that he had seen the other night.

Severus pressed a kiss into Harry’s hair, and for a moment, neither said anything. “I was wondering if you wish to come over this weekend,” he said, looking down at him.

Harry looked up at him and smiled. “Mmm, that sounds wonderful,” he said, drawing the older man into a kiss. Severus quickly took control of the kiss, tightening his hand around Harry’s waist. He moaned into the kiss, running his hands down Severus’s chest. He quickly went for the buttons on the front of Severus’s robes as he felt the Potions Master move his hands underneath Harry’s t-shirt. He moved one of his legs and repositioned himself so that he was straddling his lover.

Severus ran his hands underneath Harry’s shirt, running them up his back as Harry dug his nails into the older man’s shoulders. Severus moaned into their kiss before slowly pulling away. Harry let out a moan of disappointment. “We should stop,” Severus said, his breathing slightly laboured.

“You don’t want to stop, and neither do I,” Harry said, rocking his hips into him, grinding their half-hard cocks together. “You want me.”

Severus let out a moan, kissing him again before slowly pulling away. “Obviously, yes, but I worry that you are not healthy enough yet,” he said. “Maybe this weekend, but I do not want to hurt you because of urges we can both control.”

Harry wanted to argue with that because damn it, he didn’t _want_ to control it. He knew that Severus had a point, but he agreed that his attack had likely not been because of the sex - or not _just_ the sex, but everything that had led up to it that night _in addition to_ the sex. Besides, if they did have sex again, he didn’t want it to be as rushed as it was the first time.  “Mmm, if I’m good, you mean?” Harry said, running a finger down Severus’s chest.

A light chuckle escaped the older man’s lips. “I think we both know that’s never going to happen,” he said.

“And I think we both know that you like it that way,” Harry said, leaning in and giving Severus a soft, lingering kiss.

“Insolent brat,” Severus said, though his voice held no bite to it.

“Stubborn old man,” he said, and this time, it was Severus who drew him into a kiss. He felt the man’s large hands on his back, holding him close as the Potions Master slowly broke the kiss.

“When you go to start work, perhaps you can ask your Healer if you are healthy enough for sex,” Severus said, changing the subject. “That might avoid all of this if you get a clean bill of health.” Harry nodded, agreeing to do so. There was no point in arguing about that with him right now. The man was stubborn, and this wasn’t a fight that Harry needed to have right now. He would ask Healer Brown about it on Monday, and in the meantime - maybe this weekend. He couldn’t wait.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was later in the evening by the time Hermione got home, as today was her and Draco’s therapy sessions. Due to work, she was going down to once a week, and although some might find it unnecessary for her to still go to them, it helped her. She and Draco held back afterward, as her boyfriend pulled her close, leaning down for a kiss. She felt herself melt into him a bit before he pulled away. “Did you want to get a drink or something to eat?” he asked her.

Hermione gave him a small smile and shook her head. “Not tonight, sorry,” she said. “I've had such a long day. Perhaps we can spend the day together this Saturday, like last week?” She had enjoyed that since they didn’t get to see too much of either during the week, both of them had busy jobs. Draco had even missed the group session last week because of work. She felt bad for not wanting to go out, but she was so tired right now. She just wanted to curl up on the couch for a bit before going to bed.

“That sounds wonderful,” he said, giving her a rare, soft smile. “I have to work Sunday, but Saturday works for me.” He leaned down to give her another soft kiss.

Hermione knew quite well that Harry might not be around this weekend. She assumed, though she couldn’t be certain, that he would probably be spending the weekend with Severus again. She was probably not going to mention that to Draco just yet, though. They hadn’t been dating that long, not really, though they had become close for a while before they had officially started dating. Draco obviously thought they were ready. She didn’t think so. At least, she wasn’t.

“So, Saturday then?” He asked, earning him and a smile back from Hermione.

After sharing another kiss, the two of them parted ways. Hermione headed home to find Harry curled up on the couch, going through one of his Healer’s books. He looked up as she entered. “Evening, Hermione,” he said. “How was work? Wait, let me guess - busy because you always have more work to do.”

Hermione just rolled her eyes. “I know what I’m doing,” she said. “I want to succeed, and I know how to do that.” She had taken off her robe before Apparating and now stood in only a simple skirt and a button-up blouse. She walked over, and sat next to him the couch, setting the robe which she had been holding, on the table in front of them. “I thought you’d go out with Draco tonight.”

The bushy-haired witch shook her head. “No, I’m exhausted,” she admitted. She could feel it now that she had sat down, that kind of tired that you felt in your bones even when your mind still felt like it wanted to race. Her body was done for the day, and she knew it wouldn’t be too long before her mind joined it, too. “Listen, can I ask you something?” Harry nodded, closing the book and setting it on the table in front of them. “I know this is personal, and you don’t have to answer, but… This past weekend, when you and Severus… slept together, was it like a spur of the moment thing or were you _sure_?”

“A bit of both, actually,” Harry answered, and the look on his face said he was wondering why she was asking. “I mean, there had been so much built up the tension, but I wanted it. I was sure.” The dark-haired man paused for a moment before speaking again. “Why do you ask? Is there something you want to talk about?” He gave her an inquisitive look.

Hermione sighed. “Okay, this weekend, Draco and I were spending the day together, and we came back here,” she said. “You were gone, and we started kissing… I could tell that Draco wanted to go a bit farther, but I’m just not.” She didn’t really have any close girlfriends besides Ginny, and she wasn’t sure talking to her about Draco was going to the best idea. Besides, she was away at training right now. Harry was here, and she knew she could talk to Harry about anything. “Or I don’t think I am anyway. Am I overthinking this? I mean, I know I do that. It’s just…”

She took a deep breath. “Ron and I always went so fast. The war was over, and we were just glad to be alive.” Harry nodded, and she knew that he would understand that. “I know you never wanted to hear about it because you know, it’s Ron and me, and we’re like family to you, but… We always went pretty fast, and never gave much thought to anything else. I’m… afraid that I rush into things with Draco that the same thing will happen. Is that crazy? Am I thinking too much?”

Harry just smiled at her. “No, it’s not crazy, and you always think too much,” he said, earning a chuckle from Hermione. “You got out of a long relationship that didn’t end that well, and you’re a bit gun-shy, so to speak.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I get it; really, I do. I’m not an expert, far from it actually, but I would say to remember that your relationship with Draco is going to be different from your relationship with Ron. They’re very different people, Hermione, which is the point, right?”

Hermione nodded, knowing that he was right on that point. It was the point. She had a very good feeling about how things with Draco were going so far, and she didn’t want to screw that up. “I think you should just… stop thinking for a bit, and just do what feels right,” he told her. “If you feel it’s right to wait, then wait. He understood, didn’t he?”

Hermione nodded, giving Harry a small smile. “Yeah, you’re right,” she said. “He did understand. I know it’s frustrating because we don’t get that much time alone, but I do feel that waiting is the best thing for now. I guess I just needed someone else to tell me that I’m not overthinking things.” She leaned into. “Thank you.” It was a good feeling to know that she had someone to talk to no matter what.

After that, the conversation turned to Harry’s first day of work, which was Monday. “You’ll be fine,” she counseled him after he said he was nervous about it. “Just go in with an open mind, and be ready to learn. You’re there to train because you don’t know it and because you’re capable, not because you know everything right now. You’ll be fine. They wouldn’t have passed you if you couldn’t do it.” He thanked her. They both headed to bed soon afterward, but Hermione was sure that they both felt just a little bit better after talking to each other.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, but I am back! For anyone who follows Lily's Thorn, August - January was very rough for me. Things have been slowly improving, but it was hard to get this chapter out because I had a huge block with this chapter. I have finished it, here it is, and sincerely hope it was worth the long wait!
> 
> Also, special thanks to shackleddamsel for betaing this chapter for me.

The rest of the week passed in a blur, and before he knew it, the weekend was upon him already. Harry was excited to spend the weekend with Severus, even if he knew that sex might be off the table. That was fine because while their one session had been great, their relationship was about more than that. He just wanted to spend some time with him before he had to go to work on Monday.

He had to _work_ on Monday.

That was a foreign concept, as he hadn’t had a job in over a year. He had no idea how he was supposed to be feeling right now, with his job fixing to start in a few days. It was something he wanted, there was no doubt about that, but if he failed at this, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He wouldn’t fail, though. He knew he could do this, but that nagging voice was there nonetheless, and as the first day come closer, that voice got louder and louder.

He Flooed directly in Severus’s quarters to find the man was not there. He was not surprised, as it was still afternoon and he was likely still working. He would also know if someone Flooed in, so Harry knew he would be seeing him soon. He walked back into the bedroom and set his bag with his clothes down on the floor. He had brought a few, including his dress robes for Monday.

Almost as if on cue, Harry heard a familiar voice from behind him. “You are here,” he said matter-of-factly. A moment later, Harry felt his arms slide around his waist. A smile crossed his lips, and he turned around in his lover’s arms. Severus leaned down and kissed him. Harry melted into the kiss, but it was quickly broken. “I have some more work still to do, but I will not be long.”

Harry just shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said. After that, Severus headed back downstairs, leaving Harry alone. This would have been fine, except his mind had already been full of thoughts of starting work. He hadn’t worked in a while since he had been forced to resign because of his chest injury. And this was completely new to him. What if he fell flat on his face? What if he couldn’t do this? What else was he going to do if this failed? He couldn't lay around forever.

He was curled up on the couch when Sev walked in. “Sorry for making you wait,” he said. The older man paused for a second, looking at him with a careful gaze before responding again. “Is everything okay?”

Harry wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to ruin this weekend with his insecurities. “I’m fine, really,” he said. “I was just thinking about work.” Sometimes, he hated that Severus was so observant, that he could read him so well, but it as also something that he loved about him. Less explanation was needed because the potions master always seemed to know how he felt.

Severus sat down on the couch beside him, and Harry moved to snuggle into him. “You will do fine,” he said. “No one is expecting you to be perfect. That’s why you are in training. You will learn, and you wouldn’t have scored so well on your entrance tests if you hadn’t earned it.” His tone was matter-of-fact, leaving no room for argument.

Harry let the nerves wash away. Severus was right. “It’s just… new, and it’s been a while,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Sometimes new isn’t bad.”

He couldn’t help it, but a smile crossed his face. “Yes, just because it’s new, doesn’t mean it’s bad, does it?” Severus just gave him a smirk before leaning down and giving him a kiss. Yes, new was definitely not bad.

~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner, Harry and Severus curled up on the couch. Harry asked Severus about his day, and listened to the older man go on about the unfailing stupidity of some people who didn’t realize that certain things simply couldn’t be done overnight.  Apparently, someone had walked in and requested a potion that Severus only made by request due to the time and expense involved. This person, of course, didn’t accept that response from his Front Desk Agent at first, but eventually, they had convinced her that he could do it and that but not after Severus had gotten quite angry and frustrated.

It helped to listen to him go on about it because it gave Harry something else to think about besides work. They talked about other things, and Severus seemed to sense that Harry needed a distraction. As the night went on, they had eventually retired into the bedroom. Severus still had to work tomorrow - though he promised to take time off to spend with Harry, seeing as how Harry was spending the weekend with him. Of course, he had no problem with him working at all, but he would take whatever time he had with him.

As it got later, eventually, the two of them went to bed. Harry snuggled in next to Severus in bed; it didn’t seem as if the older man was going to try anything tonight. He wanted him to. Maybe he needed to take things into his own hands, so to speak. Harry moved on top of Severus, straddling his hips, smiling down at him.

Severus just laid there, and for a moment, didn’t speak. “What do you think you are doing?” he asked, his voice deadpanned.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Harry said, running his hands up his lover’s chest. He had no idea how one was supposed to seduce someone, especially someone he was dating, in love with and had already slept with once. However, he figured this was probably a decent place to start.

“So impatient.” Severus grabbed both of his hands. “Harry…” he began, and before he said anything else, Harry knew the answer was no. At least not tonight. “We shouldn’t.”

Harry gave a heavy sigh, laying down on top of him as Severus wrapped his arms around him. “But you want to.”

“Obviously,” Severus said, rolling his eyes, “but I would feel better about doing it _again_ if your  Healer declares that you were healthy enough for sexual activity.” Harry understood that Severus was only doing this because he cared about him. He slid off, knowing that arguing with the Potions Master was like arguing with a brick wall. “You’re not arguing with me.”

He sounded surprised, almost as if he was expecting Harry to argue with him. Not that he blamed him, seeing as how he usually did things like that. It was amusing, and he would have laughed in any other circumstance. “There’s no point,” Harry said, snuggling into him. “You’re a very stubborn man. I think I can let it slide just this once. I still think I’d be okay, but I can’t blame you for thinking about my well being first.”

Severus gave a deep chuckle. “Is that so? Well, I promise you that when you do get your clean bill of health, I will give you _exactly_ what you deserve,” he said.

“Oh, I look forward to that then,” Harry said, earning him a deep chuckle from Severus before the older man called him incorrigible. At least he had something to look forward to after his first day of work, even if that didn’t go well.

~~~~~~~~~~

Early Sunday morning, Severus woke in a cold sweat. Images swam through his head - memories from his past that he’d rather forget. Harry slept soundly next to him, and at least for the moment. Gently, so as not to wake his sleeping lover, he slid out of bed, grabbing his dressing gown. Slipping it on, he slid out of bed, leaving the room. He walked across the hall to the bathroom, and splashed some water on his face.

Gripping the edge of the counter hard, he closed his eyes and saw the memories from his dream flash before his eyes. Snapping his eyes open, he turned, heading away from the bedroom and into the kitchen. He poured himself a bit of brandy, not a full glass but enough to take the edge off. He hated the memories, the nightmares. Even after all this time, he would still get them. They served as a reminder of what he’d done, so while he detested them, it was the very least that he deserved.

In all actuality, he should have died. He had never thought he would live to see the end of the war, no matter how much preparation he made to the contrary. Yet here he was… with the Hero of the War sleeping his his bed. He never thought _that_ would happen either, even when he became aware of their mutual attraction. Part of him still thought that Harry would see the error of his ways, and leave, but the young man said he was in love with him, seemed intent on staying.

After downing his drink, Severus headed back to bed. He slipped his robe off, sliding back into bed so as to wake Harry. It was then that he realized that Harry was already starting to jerk in his sleep. He reached over to hold him, gently shaking him awake. He woke in shock, green eyes staring up at him in sleepy confusion. “Harry, it’s me,” he said. “You were having a nightmare.”

Recognition soon dawned in Harry’s eyes, and he snuggled into him, wrapping his arms around him. Severus just wrapped his arms around him, allowing the young man to calm down from the nightmares. His body was trembling, and Harry buried his face his chest.

It was a few minutes before Harry finally spoke again. “I’m sorry I woke you again,” he said, his voice sounding a bit hoarse.

“You didn’t,” Severus said. “I was already awake.”

Harry looked up at him. “Couldn’t sleep?” Severus didn’t respond, and Harry just nodded. “Nightmares.” He said it in a matter-of-fact tone.

Severus paused for a second, debating if he should say anything at all. He and Harry had an understanding about these things - neither liked to talk about what they saw when they went to sleep. They could both guess at it, though. “Memories,” Severus said. Harry looked up at him. “Mostly, when I do have… bad dreams… they are of memories. Things I regret. Things I should have done or could have done, but did not.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a moment, just laying his head back against Severus’s chest. It was a few moments before he spoke again. “That makes sense,” he said. He doubted that Harry understood - there was no way he could, as he had never been in his position. “Do you think about it a lot? Things that you had to do? Does it bother you?” He seemed to realize what he said - they didn’t usually talk about any of their demons - and tried to take it back. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer.”

“Do not be sorry,” Severus told him. “I do not regret it. I did what needed to be done. I sometimes do wonder if I should have made another choice, but there is no point in dwelling on such things. I made the choice that I did, and I have lived with the consequences of my actions. However, I did many things of my own accord under the Dark Lord. Not all of it was at his direction. I was a different man, so some things do… come back to haunt me.”

Harry just listened, his head still against Severus’s chest. “Mine are about Voldemort, even now…” He shook his head, giving a light chuckle. “I know he’s gone - I know, I feel it, I was there - but it doesn’t matter. Even though years have passed… I know that. He’s still there, taunting me with everything I fucked up on, everyone we lost…”

“Harry, you were a child who should never had to deal with any of this,” Severus said, “and more people lived than died.” Harry nodded, ut didn’t speak. Severus didn’t press the issue because he knew that Harry already knew that, and there was no reason to push the issue at this late hour. He waited until the younger man had fallen back asleep again, before slowly drifting off again himself.

~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the weekend passed mainly without issue, and Harry woke up Monday morning feeling more anxious than he ever had in his life. When he made it to St. Mungo’s, he made his way to the office he had been told. He had received instructions to go there to meet with Healer Brown. He was wearing his white Healer's robes that he had just recently gotten. His heart was beating rapidly inside his chest. The bustle went on around him as he made his way to the lift, to the Spell Damage Ward. He had been told where Healer Brown’s office was located, and headed down the hallway, turned a corner until he came to the door. _Healer Maurice Brown_ was labeled on the door, and he knocked the door.

“Enter,” said a voice from within, a voice he recognized. Healer Brown had been his Healer when he had been hit by the spell from Colin.

Harry opened the door, shutting it behind him. He was met with a plain, nondescript office. The desk was a plain brown, with his nameplate, an inkwell and a picture frame that was facing away from Harry, so he could not see who it was of. The man setting behind the desk looked the same as he had the last time he had seen him - a tall, broad man with short, dark brown hair, and brown eyes. He looked up when the door shut, putting down the quill he had been holding. “Mr. Potter, a pleasure to see you,” he said, sitting back in his chair.

“You, too, sir,” he said, moving further inside the room.

“Before we get started, there’s one thing I need you to do for me first,” he said, grabbing his wand and giving it a wave. A small black cauldron appeared on the side of the desk before them. “I am fairly certain that you know why I need to do this. You were addicted to Potions. I mentioned before that you would need to do a test to prove that is no longer the case.” He gestured to the cauldron. “This is it. Spit into the cauldron. If it turns red, you are still addicted, and your employment will be terminated. If it turns blue, then you are clear and we will continue with the rest of the day. Do you understand?”

Harry nodded. “Yes, I understand,” he said. Brown guestered towards the cauldron. Harry stood up, and walked over it, leaning over. Taking a deep breath, he spit into it as instructed. For a moment, nothing happened to the potion inside, and he was sure that he had messed it up somehow - not that anyone could mess up spitting into a potion. He hadn’t had any potions unless they had been Severus’s when he had still been on bedrest and needed it.

Then, the potion started to turn purple. Since this was in between blue and red, it made him nervous. He stood there as the color swirled around, switching between red, blue and purple. The colors slowed until purple sat there in the cauldron before the color slowly changed to blue. Harry let out a breath that he didn’t even know he’d been holding. Healer Brown didn’t seem phased at all. “Good, you’re clean, then,” he said. “Take a seat.” He gestured to the sat across from before vanishing the cauldron. Harry did as he was told. “So, this is how the training is going to work for the most part.”

“Over the course of the training, you will work in various sections with different Healers,” he said. “You will start your training off with me, and then move around from there. This is to give you a basis and a good foundation. You will work various shifts throughout your training, as well. When you find what you want to focus in, then your training will be geared towards. You will have work to do at home, and have evaluations with me every three months. You choose how fast or slow you wish to go. The more time you put in, the more studying at home, the faster you will move up and finish. I will determine where you are in your training, and when your training is complete, but you are allowed to ask for further emphasis if you think you might be interested in a particular spot. Do you have any questions?”’

Harry sat there for a moment to absorb the information before nodding. “I think so,” he said. “I’ll probably have questions later, though.” Brown had spoken so efficiently - he must do this all the time - that it had been bit overwhelming to keep up with when he was trying to remember everything. It seemed pretty straight-forward, though.

“Of course,” Healer Brown said. “I will answer any questions you have. Now, let’s do a tour.” After that, Brown showed him around, moving them around the hustle and bustle of the other Healers. He was introduced to some of them that he might be working with, but for the most part, Harry just followed Brown around. When they were done with the tour, Brown notified Harry that he would be watching today, and observing.

Harry did as he was told, taking mental notes. Healer Brown explained things as much as possible, always out of hearing of patients. He was notified that he should stay out of the way for the time being in case of an emergency. He observed as much as possible and listened to everything Brown had to say, but it was overwhelming. He knew today was just an introduction day, though, and at least he wasn’t doing anything. He couldn’t fail yet.

When it came time for lunch, Healer Brown told him that he was done for the day, and to report back at eight tomorrow morning. He gave him a list of things to work on over the next few weeks. Harry had almost forgotten to talk to him as a patient that he almost turned and left right then. “Wait, Healer Brown! I need to ask you something - as a patient, not an employee,” he said.

Brown nodded, taking him into an empty room nearby. “Yes, Mr. Potter, what can I do for you? Are you still not healing well? If that’s the case - “

Harry shook his head, waving off the question. “No, I’m feeling fine, it’s just… My lover is… concerned about…” He took a deep breath, because if he was going to do this for a living, he was going to have to get used to talking about this. “He’s concerned about sex. He doesn’t want to hurt me. He’s worried I’m not healthy enough for sexual activity, because I had a minor attack after the last time. However, i believe that’s because I was upset beforehand - we’d had a big fight. That happens to me sometimes, attacks when I get upset I mean. However, he just wants me to make sure that I am healthy enough before we continue. I have been doing plenty of exercise with no ill side effects, but I told him I would verify with you anyway. I haven’t had any issues other than that.”

Healer Brown seemed to think about that for a moment. “Well, if you say that you’ve been exercising - and I’m assuming at a normal rate - and based on what you’ve said about your injury, I think you’re fine,” he said. “Your injury is unique, and you know your body better than anyone. I would say if you feel fine, and you’re not in any pain in any way, I don’t think you and your lover should have a problem. If you do, then stop immediately, of course. If you have further issues, then come and see me, but as far as I can tell, you should be just fine.”

Harry nodded, trying to keep the smile off his face. “Yes, thank you, sir,” he said. With that, he left, thinking that his first day hadn’t been all that bad. And now, he could tell Severus that he was healthy enough for sex. The last barrier between them would be gone, and Harry couldn’t wait. After all, they had only been together once. He wanted to have a real relationship, and while there were still obstacles to overcome, at least sex would not be one of them if he had anything to say about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to follow me on tumblr at @giasesshoumaru.


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